The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick
by mama4dukes
Summary: What happens when a freak twister sends Bella, Jake, and Paul back in time? Come and join our three favorite friends on a rip-roaring adventure to the past. Special Note: Chapter 31 marks the end of the main story; however, I will be tacking on outtakes from time to time. For all intents and purposes, The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick is COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Author: mama4dukes**

 **Pairing: Paul/Bella**

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 **Summary: What happens when a freak twister sends Bella, Jake, and Paul back in time? Come and join our three favorite friends on a rip-roaring adventure to the past.**

 **Note: Jake's Rabbit is a convertible in this story. Also, there were adjustments made to the ages of several characters for the sake of story uniformity. A few of the characters are several years older than in the original series.**

 **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

 **A special thank you to Mist for the awesome banner.**

 **This story was originally posted on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015. It is complete and I will post a few chapters a week.**

 **Hello! Welcome to The Rabbit and the Magic Stick. BkChica placed the winning bid during Tricky Raven's Silent Auction and her prompt was for me to write a story based on the movie 'Back to the Future'. It seemed easy at first, but quickly became a complicated project because there were so many elements involved in the story. What should have been a one-shot turned into a novel length, multi-chapter epic adventure, which truly came to life after a visit to Forks and La Push alerted me to the true economic hardships the area residents face on a daily basis. In the end, this story became a labor of love, and I am pleased to present, The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick.**

 **XOXO mama4dukes**

 **"The Rabbit Meets The Magic Stick"**

 **By mama4dukes**

 ** _Paul…_**

"What the hell are you doing in my daughter's room? Get out of here!"

He didn't need to be told twice. As soon as he opened his eyes and saw the angry glare on the father's face coupled with the double-barrel shot gun aimed at his forehead, he dove out of...um…what's her name's…window and ran, buck naked, to the other side of the reservation. The irate father fired two shots in his direction and yelled, "I swear, Paul Lahote, you're going to end up a stupid, good-for-nothing, lazy, son-of-a-bitch drunk just like your old man!"

Paul rolled his eyes. It was nothing new for him to be compared to his father; nonetheless, it hurt. His father, who had once been a great guy, was now perennially drunk and constantly took his anger out on his only son. It hadn't always been that way. He used to be a great guy. Paul remembered playing catch with him as a kid before 'it' happened. He remembered holding his dad's hand and going out to get ice cream—also before 'it' happened. He remembered how his dad read to him every night before bedtime and how he'd sit by his bed until he fell asleep, but that also stopped after 'it' happened. When Paul was eight years old, his mother decided to simply walk out on them. Angry and depressed, Adam Lahote turned to 'the bottle' and never looked back.

A bullet whizzed by and came too close for comfort for Paul. He darted out into the woods and phased into wolf form. Oh, yes. To add to his troubles, he was a damned shapeshifter. A freak! He was a human who turned into a wolf in order to save the Quileutes from blood-sucking vampires. Why? It turned out he inherited a stupid gene, which activated when vampires came around. And come around they did. An entire coven of vampires showed up a few months ago to settle in Forks and make like they were a human family. And because Paul's ancestors were obviously tapped in the head, they had made a pact with this vampire coven, the very first time they came to the area around a hundred years ago, stating they could live peacefully without fear of being attacked as long as they fed from animals instead of humans.

So, this coven, called the Cullens, stuck around town and lived 'peacefully' while Paul got to turn into a wolf and patrol the damned area to make sure the idiot vampires didn't wreak havoc in the area. Of course, one of them decided to date the daughter of the Forks police chief and dump her when things got hairy. The entire family bailed out of town really quick! The poor girl was still depressed about it. In Paul's opinion, she was probably still freaked out and needed to air out her feelings, but couldn't. Why would she be able to? She dated a damned vampire! Who the hell would believe that? Well, he would, but that's because he was a freak himself.

Paul looked around the forest to reassure himself that there were no gun-wielding madmen lurking around before phasing back to human form. He jogged back to the reservation and decided to return to his house, but caught a glimpse of his father sitting outside with a bottle of gin. Nope, he didn't feel like dealing with him tonight. He walked to Chief Black's garage and climbed into the back seat of the beat up Rabbit that Jake was constantly working on. He briefly wondered if the heap of steel even ran before falling quickly asleep.

 ** _Bella_** ** _…_**

Bella sighed as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked awful. She was underweight, her hair was stringy, and her skin tone looked sallow. She was depressed—terribly depressed. She had a lot to get off of her chest; secrets bottled up inside that she wanted to tell someone—anyone really, but she couldn't. She couldn't because no one would believe her. She couldn't because whomever she'd tell would think she was insane. She couldn't tell because the truth was unbelievable.

She walked downstairs to have breakfast and caught sight of her father as he was leaving the house. He was always leaving the house.

"You're up early for a Saturday," Charlie Swan noted. Bella glanced at the clock on the living room wall and realized that it was only six am.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep," she replied.

"Oh." Her father shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "Well, um, I have to meet Billy to go fishing. Maybe you should try to nap or something. I'll see you later, Bells." He quickly left the house and hopped into his car, bringing his fishing gear and a case of beer with him.

It was times like these when Bella wished so desperately that she had a good relationship with her father, but the fact was that he was more interested in fishing and watching sports than in forming a relationship with her. It was why her mother left Charlie. Renee felt a wife and daughter should take precedence over fishing and baseball, football, hockey, beer, whatever…and she was right. Bella couldn't blame her mother for leaving her father. She hated feeling as if she wasn't as important as the next game or his new fishing rod.

Maybe it's why she became so attached to Edward Cullen. Maybe she was drawn to him because he paid attention to her. Maybe she fell in love with him because he gave her what she craved the most: a loving family.

Of course, they weren't really a family. They were a vampire coven masquerading as a human family. Yes, Edward Cullen and the others, who had resided in that grand house in Forks, were vampires. They sucked blood out of animals in order to survive because they were supposedly humane, and didn't believe in unnecessarily depleting humans of their lifeblood in order to survive. It was a good thing, she supposed.

The entire coven had taken Bella in like a stray puppy and made her a part of their extended family. For a while, she had felt loved and wanted, but then she got a paper-cut and one of them tried to drain her so they decided that messing with a human wasn't really a good idea. Subsequently, Edward Cullen, the vampire who had professed his undying love to her, dumped her in the middle of the forest and left her heartbroken—taking his entire family with him.

Now that she'd had time to think about it, she realized that as much as Edward Cullen and his family gave her support, it wasn't really them she wanted. She really wanted her father's love and her mother's love—together—not apart. She wanted to see them come together to support her, but they were always bickering. They still bickered even though they'd been divorced for well over a decade and lived thousands of miles away from each other.

Bella wished she could be a normal girl from a happy family instead of the pathetic, depressed thing she'd become. Above all else, she wished she could tell someone the truth about the Cullens and why she was so upset, but she couldn't. Who the hell would believe that vampires existed?

Bella decided to give the house a good dusting. Perhaps it would take her mind off of things. After that, she could go to the reservation and see what Jacob was up to. Maybe he would want to hang out with her.

 ** _Jacob_** ** _…_**

Jacob Black angrily kicked the tree behind his house and yelped, "Ouch!"

He was frustrated. Extremely frustrated. And the source of his frustration? It was the same as usual: his father, his sisters, his life, everything really.

Jacob hated the situation he was in. He was poor. His mother had passed away when he was a young boy. His father, who was handicapped due to negligence of his Type 2 diabetes, was unemployed and on disability. He relied heavily on Jacob for everything including chores, cooking, home maintenance, and even the grocery shopping. Jacob wasn't an unsympathetic kid—he understood why his father needed assistance. The thing that frustrated Jacob was the fact that he simply didn't have the time to just be a kid because his twin sisters both left the house as soon as they graduated from high school and rarely, if ever, came back home. Neither of them wanted the responsibility of helping to take care of their father so it all fell on their much younger brother's shoulders.

Jacob took a deep cleansing breath prior to entering his house. It wouldn't do for his father to see him in such a foul mood. He put a smile on his face and greeted, "Hey, Dad."

"Good morning, son. You're up early. Were you out walking?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how to get the car going. I think it needs a new fuel pump."

Billy nodded his head proudly. "You are a mechanical genius, Jacob. I'm proud of you. I'll call Mr. Hinkley at the junkyard to see if he has any fuel pumps that would fit your car that he could give you for cheap." He reached into his pocket and fished out a twenty-dollar bill. "I can put this towards the part."

"Oh, Dad, no. I'll figure something out. We need the money."

Billy sighed and put the cash back in his pocket. "You're such a good son. I wish I had listened to your mother about taking care of my health. I should be taking care of you; not the other way around."

"It's okay, Dad."

"Well, let me make that phone call for you."

Jacob headed to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal. A few minutes later, his father wheeled himself into the kitchen with a smile on his face. "Great news, son. Mr. Hinkley said that he has the same model car as yours in his lot, and you can dismantle it. He said you can take any parts you need for free from it."

"Free? For real?"

"Yes, for real. He just needs you to help him load a few tires onto a truck. I told him you would have no problem doing that."

"No, not at all. Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome. Now, I see Charlie has pulled into the driveway. I'm going fishing."

"Okay, Dad. Have fun. I'm going to call Bells and see if she can give me a ride to the junkyard."

"Alright." Billy Black turned to his son with a smile. "I'm glad that you and Bella are getting along. She can really use a friend after the number that Cullen vamp…erm…brat pulled on her."

"Yeah, what a jerk he turned out to be," Jacob agreed. "Don't worry, Dad. I've got Bella smiling these days."

"Good." With that final word, Billy Black wheeled himself outside to meet his friend.

Jacob smiled. He could have all the parts he needed for his rusty old Volkswagen Rabbit just for helping out Old Mr. Hinkley. He waved to Charlie Swan and his father as they left for fishing and let out a chuckle. Things were finally looking up for him. He rushed to the phone and decided to call Bella for a ride to the junkyard.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was previously published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

 ** _And so our story begins…_**

"Thanks for this morning, Bells. I really appreciate it," Jacob said to his friend as they walked into the garage.

"It was no big deal. Besides, Mr. Hinkley even gave us that part you said you needed to stop my clunker from smoking up, plus he gave us fifty bucks each."

"Of course he did. You put in some hard work this morning. I mean, damn, when my dad told me that Mr. Hinkley needed help loading some tires onto a truck, I didn't think he meant over three hundred of them. If it weren't for your help, Bells, I would still be slaving away at the junkyard."

"It really wasn't a problem, Jake. I had fun hanging out with you."

"Cool." Jacob placed the box of parts down on the ground and grabbed the fuel pump. "You want to give me a hand installing this in the Rabbit?"

"Sure." Bella wiggled out of her jacket and approached the car while Jacob opened the hood. He tried to prop the hood up using the attached strut but the entire mechanism collapsed and broke.

"Damn it! Now we have to go back to the junkyard and get another hood strut."

"Calm down, Jake. We don't have to go today. Mr. Hinkley said we can come back anytime for parts because we worked so hard today."

"True, but it's just so annoying. If it's not one thing, it's another." He shook his head as he looked at the broken part and threw it on the ground. He needed to find something to keep the hood open. He spotted a stick with some feathers sticking out on one end. He shrugged his shoulders and grabbed it. It was the perfect size to prop up the hood.

Just as he had the stick perfectly angled, Bella gasped and reached for it. "Oh my God, Jake! You can't use that! That's the stick that Quil was supposed to take home to his grandfather last night. He must have forgotten it. It's an important tribal thingy."

"Who cares? No one is going to find out."

"Um, I care. It's probably super ancient. It has to be at least as old as our dads are."

"Yeah, and this old stick serves my purposes right now. It's a perfect substitute for the hood strut."

Bella tried to put on the sternest expression she could. "No, Jake, I won't let you!" She attempted to seize the stick.

"Aww, hell no! I got that thing propped up perfectly." Jake put his hand over hers so that she couldn't dislodge the stick.

"Stop it, Jake! I mean it!"

"No, you stop it!"

"I'm serious! This is like a really important stick!"

"I don't care!"

"Well, I do. You're just going to have to find..."

A sudden gust of wind blew open the garage doors. Jake and Bella both looked up, their hands still on the stick. At the same time, Paul Lahote was roused awake from his slumber in the back seat of the beat up Rabbit. He sat up and rubbed his eyes in time to see a cyclone barreling directly towards them. Before any of them could move, a loud crack of thunder sounded, and they were sucked up into the rotating column of air before landing with a thud—Rabbit, stick, and all—in the middle of the forest.

The three stunned teenagers stared wide-eyed at the scene around them. They had just survived a freak tornado. Or was it even a tornado? Everything seemed too calm, too peaceful. Quite honestly, all three of them should be dead, but they were more or less unruffled—at least physically.

"Maybe it's the calm before the storm," Bella stated what everyone was thinking out loud.

Bella and Jacob looked at each other before noticing Paul.

"What the hell are you doing in my car, Lahote?" Jake asked.

"I was sleeping, for your information!"

"In my car?"

"Yeah, in your car! I needed a place to bunk." He turned to Bella. "What in hell are you doing here, Vampire Girl?"

"V…V…Vampire Girl? Why would you call me that?" she wondered how this stranger found out about the Cullens and her doomed relationship with Edward.

Paul cursed under his breath for his faux pas, remembering that Jake still had no idea about the existence of vampires and wolves. In fact, Bella Swan probably didn't know about the existence of wolves. He knew she knew about vampires, though. "Um…cause you're so pale. You could use a tan."

"Oh, right, I guess that makes sense." Bella shifted uncomfortably on her feet before taking a sudden interest in her toes. It had been a great morning until the twister happened and before the reminder that she really was 'Vampire Girl' and that she couldn't tell anyone.

Paul stared quizzically at the startled girl in front of him. "Hey, are you okay?"

She nodded her head, but continued to morbidly stare down at her toes. It was amazing how quickly her entire countenance changed in a matter of seconds.

"Hey, I asked if you were okay?" Paul repeated. He had gotten out of the car to stand directly in front of her.

She lifted her head to look up at him, but then stopped. Her eyes and mouth flew open as she realized that the boy in front of her was stark naked.

"Bells, what's wrong?" Jacob asked, concerned about his friend. He followed her line of sight and saw that Paul was not wearing a single stitch of clothing. "Why the hell are you naked?"

"Obviously because I forgot my clothes at…at…" Paul scratched his head. "Damn it! I forgot her name!"

"Who?" Jake questioned.

"Bonehead, if I knew her name, I'd tell you."

"Yeah, but that still doesn't explain why you're naked in my car!"

"Maybe he's one of those perverts who like to go streaking," Bella suggested.

"I am not a streaker!"

"Then why are you naked?"

"Because I was running from a psycho dad who was firing his rifle at me just cause I decided to bunk in his daughter's room, that's why!"

"Oh my God!" Bella gasped. "You know, my dad is a cop. Maybe you should report it to him?"

"I know who your dad is, Bella Swan. And no, I'm not going to report it to him because he'll probably have me arrested."

"Why would he have you arrested? You were the one getting shot at."

"She's right, you know," Jacob agreed, nodding. "You should tell Chief Swan about the crazy dad."

"Grrr…"

"Did you just growl?" Bella asked Paul before turning to Jake, "Did you hear him? He growled like a tiger or something."

"Of course I growled. I was chased and shot at by a psychotic, gun-toting dude, I survived a tornado, landed in the middle of the forest, and I'm stuck with two of the weirdest geeks on the planet! Is Taha Aki ever going to give me a break?"

"Who is Taha Aki?"

"Some kind of Quileute god of some sort. The elders are always praying to him and stuff," Jacob told Bella.

"Taha Aki was not a god! He was a wol…"

"A what?" Bella asked Paul, who had suddenly snapped his mouth shut after realizing that he almost spilled the beans about the tribal secret.

"Nothing...just, let's get out of here. We should probably get back to the reservation."

"Good idea," Bella agreed. She dug her phone out of her pocket and tried to access the GPS. "Hey, my phone isn't working!"

"Duh, the tornado probably wiped out all the cell towers."

"That makes sense." She decided to shut it down in order to conserve power. "Alright, who knows which direction the reservation is?"

Paul looked around. He could usually sense where he was at, but this part of the forest seemed unfamiliar…yet it was still familiar at the same time. "Uh, let's just walk. I don't know where I am."

"We should make your house the first stop," Bella said. "You need to put some clothes on. I've never seen a p…p…penis before. Yours is the first one ever."

"You've never seen a penis? Didn't the vam…" Paul stopped himself again. "Haven't you ever had a boyfriend?" he asked instead.

"I did…once…twice. We didn't…we never…well, he and I…um… He broke up with me!" she blurted quickly.

"Why?"

"Why? Um…" Bella shifted nervously again. "I…I wasn't good enough for him."

"Why that little toe fungus! He told you that you weren't good enough for him?"

Bella nodded her head glumly and whispered, "I tried to change for him so he would like me more. I wore dresses and listened to classical music and everything."

"You never told me that, Bells." Jacob joined in the conversation. "What a creep!"

Meanwhile, Paul was growing more and more incensed. He didn't like hearing about how she had been treated by that Cullen monster. Why? He had no idea, but he simply didn't like it. "Yeah, no kidding. Listen to me, girl. If a guy ever tells you that you aren't good enough, then he isn't good enough for you—especially if you have to change your personality for him."

"Gee whiz, Lahote. I never knew you were so philosophical," Jacob commented.

Paul ignored Jake and asked Bella, "Did you like changing for him?"

Bella thought hard. Did she like changing for Edward? Did she like wearing all those dresses and makeup? Did she enjoy eating all of those gross, tasteless health foods? Did she even like all of those ridiculous gifts he and his family gave her? Did she like not being able to hang out with her friends or go to parties because he didn't approve?

"You know, my opinion is that if a guy asks you to change for him, it means he has a lot of changes to make himself."

It was after hearing that statement by Paul that Bella had a revelation. When she really thought hard about it, she didn't like Edward. Why? She couldn't be herself when she was with him. Edward Cullen made it clear that he found a lot of faults with her, which meant they shouldn't be together. And it wasn't that she was not good enough for him, it was that he had ridiculous, outdated standards from the early 20th century.

A smile formed on Bella's face as she turned to Paul. "No, I didn't like changing for Edward. Thank you for enlightening me." She paused for a second before asking, "So, your name is Lahote?"

"Lahote is my last name. My first name is Paul. Uh…we should get back to the reservation. Everyone is probably worried about us."

Bella and Jake both turned to Paul expectantly. He wasn't used to being put into a leadership role, most people thought he was a smart aleck destined to be a loser like his father, but apparently these two looked up to him for some strange reason. Well, he was a wolf with the job of protecting humans, so he supposed he'd have to take charge.

"Alright, does this clunker run?"

"Not yet, I was about to install a fuel pump before the twister happened," Jake informed him.

Paul let out a sigh. He looked up at the pair, whom—oddly—he liked, and pointed in the direction of what he hoped was the reservation. "Uh…this way."

"Don't forget Quil's grandpa's stick, Jake," Bella reminded him.

Jake grabbed the stick, which Paul recognized as Old Quil's medicine stick, which was used only for very exclusive ceremonies.

"What the hell are you doing with Old Quil's stick?"

"I was using it to prop up the hood of my car."

"Are you kidding me? Give me that!" Paul yanked the stick away from Jacob. "You'll be lucky if you escape this without a tribal reprimand. That thing is a super important artifact from Taha Aki's time."

"I told you it was," Bella told Jake smugly. "I tried to get him to stop fiddling with it before the twister hit."

"She's got a hell of a lot more brains than you do, Jake."

"Who is Taha Aki?" Bella asked.

Paul realized, at that moment, that he slipped. He looked around wildly before his eyes fell on Jake, who was telling Bella, "I don't know, but remember that story I told you about the Quileutes supposedly being descended from wolves and how the Cullens are our enemy clan?"

"Yeah, you mean the story you told me that time we were in La Push, ran into Sam Uley, and he was unbelievably rude and cryptic."

"Exactly. Anyway, I think Taha Aki is actually the original god who made the wolves."

"Ah, I understand. He must be like the wolf god." Bella nodded her head and when she saw Jake agree, she asked, "So, Jake, remember that story you told me about the Cullens hunting on your land and your great-grandfather making a treaty with them?"

"Yep."

"Tell me about this treaty."

"Uh…we really need to get going," Paul urged in an attempt to get them off of the topic. The pair followed him through the forest, but kept up with the conversation.

"Right, legend has it that the Cullens actually moved back to Forks since living here during my great-grandfather's time. My great-grandfather supposedly made a treaty with them, which states that they could hunt on the land provided they didn't enter La Push; otherwise, he would expose what they really were."

"You never told me what they really were, Jake."

"They called them cold ones, but they were really vampires," Jake answered. "Quileute legend says that the Cullens are really vampires."

Paul slapped Jake across the back of his head. "Dude, you're telling her tribal secrets! They're called secrets for a reason; the reason being they are secret!"

"Aw, Paul! Bells is okay. She can keep a secret."

"I can." Bella nodded, all the while thinking that the Quileute tribal legend may actually have some substance to it. After all, the Cullens really were vampires who returned to Forks since first moving to the area many decades ago. She took a deep calming breath and decided to secretly pray to this Taha Aki wolf god because maybe he would help to keep the Cullens away from her because, after her conversation with Paul, she had made a firm decision that she didn't want to have anything to do with them.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

The threesome walked.

And walked.

And walked.

And walked for hours before realizing they were getting nowhere. Paul looked around the forest desperately. He wanted to phase so he could run to the reservation and get help, but he couldn't leave Jacob and Bella alone in the forest. That would be irresponsible. He cursed at himself. Since when did he become responsible? He knew the answer, too. It was when two innocent humans placed their lives in his hands.

They walked for a half an hour more before coming to a familiar house in the middle of the forest. All three of them stared at the Cullen's abandoned house.

Paul was the first to speak up. "Can a house fall into this much disrepair after only six months?"

"Yeah, no kidding," Bella agreed. There were overgrown weeds, the paint was peeling off of the siding, and the house looked dilapidated—not at all like the pristine home that Esme Cullen kept. "Well, I know for a fact that the family isn't coming back. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if we went in. I really need to sit down."

"I'm not so sure if breaking and entering is such a good idea," Paul said. He was also worried about the almost unbearable vampire stench, which he was sure to encounter in the house.

"Oh, don't worry. I know a way in." Bella led the weary group to the back of the house. She pointed to a gigantic boulder resting against the clapboard siding by the back door. "We're going to have to move this rock. It'll probably take all three of us to do it." While the Cullens could easily move the boulder, there was no way that any normal human being—no matter how strong he was—could.

Jake tried moving it, but couldn't even budge it. It wasn't until Paul stepped in to help that they were able to move the boulder aside. Bella opened up a hidden panel by the back door and reached for a set of keys. "Bingo!" she cried excitedly. "Gee, these look a little old." She took one of the keys and tried it in the back door lock. It clicked open. "Well, come on. Let's go inside."

The crew of three walked into the home. "Gee whiz, I never knew the Cullens were so old fashioned," Jake commented. "This stuff is older than the stuff at Old Quil's house."

Meanwhile, Bella and Paul were standing stock still with their mouths hanging open.

"Um, this looks different. Very different," Bella commented. She scratched her head and walked through the house with Paul and Jake following close behind. The house looked like a museum—a very vintage museum.

Paul pointed to a painting. I recognize Carlisle Cullen, but who are the rest of these guys and why are they wearing tights?

"Um…I think I was told they were like vamp…uh…European royalty from the 1700's."

"Vampire royalty? Are you serious?" Paul questioned. "So, you're telling me that these yobos are still alive?"

"I didn't say vampire. I said European." Bella quickly corrected her mistake. She couldn't believe that she almost gave the Cullen's secret away.

"Bullshit. You were going to say vampire."

"Yeah, I heard it, too, Bells. You said vamp then switched to European," Jacob agreed.

"Oh, God, help," she pleaded and then switched to, "Oh, Taha Aki, help."

"Alright, I'll make a deal with you, Bella Swan. You tell me about the Cullens and I'll tell you about Taha Aki. It'll be our secret. Jacob Black, you just sit your ass down and listen."

"Deal," Bella agreed, "but you tell me about Taha Aki first."

Jake and Bella sat on the sofa while Paul planted himself on an upholstered chair. A cloud of dust sprang up from the furniture as soon as they sat. The three kids started coughing.

"Oh, gross!" Jake cried. "This is like Old Quil's house!"

Paul began his story. "The legend about the Quileute being wolves is true. All of it. Except Taha Aki wasn't a god, he was the original wolf. Jake's great-grandfather, Ephraim Black, made a treaty with the Cullens when they first moved to Forks in 1936. If the Cullens hunted within the boundaries of Forks and didn't drain any humans, the wolves wouldn't dismantle them. In return, the Cullens would keep our secret."

"How come you know this and I don't? I'm the Chief's son," Jake pointed out.

"Right. Follow me. That's far enough," he told Jake and Bella when they got to the doorway. Stand right there. Paul went a bit further outside before he concentrated and phased into his wolf form.

"Holy crap!" Jake screamed. "Bells, Bells, did you see that? Paul turned into a wolf."

Bella's reaction was completely calm. She walked up to Paul and stroked his fur before giving him a big hug. Paul, who was completely surprised by her reaction, nuzzled his nose in her hair. That's when he realized that the girl smelled incredibly wonderful. It was almost as if she was a walking bouquet of fresh cut flowers on a bright spring day. He moved away from her and returned to human form. He grinned at Bella, then turned his attention towards Jacob, who was stunned and in shock.

"You're a wolf," Bellanoted.

"Clearly. I changed because the Cullens moved back to Forks. So did Sam Uley, Jared Cameron, and Embry Call. Vampires activate a gene in certain members of the Quileute tribe—we were the first four to change. Now, maybe you can tell us about the Cullens because I know you dated that Edward guy, who was a known vampire."

"It's true. I dated a vampire."

"You've got to be joking, right, Bells?" Jacob asked. "Why would you date a freaky vampire?"

"The Cullens were vampires—all of them. I don't know why I dated Edward when I think about it now. I suppose it was because he acted like he cared, but in reality, he was just bossing me around and trying to change my personality to his standards. I know that now."

"You know something? That's all in the past," Paul said. "I want to know about this royalty business."

"Oh, sure. They're called the Volturi. Apparently, they rule the vampire world. They live in a place called Volterra in Italy. Carlisle Cullen used to live with them, but he couldn't handle how inhumane they were so he left them."

"What do you mean by inhumane, Bella?" Jacob asked.

"Like most vampires, they feed off of humans."

"Humans? Did…did…did you let Edward eat you?"

"Eat me? No! Of course not! The Cullens were vegetarian vampires. They fed from animals."

"If they ate animals, wouldn't they be considered carnivores?"

"Gee, that's a really good point. I never thought about it that way. The animal activists would have a field day if they ever found out about the Cullens. Draining animals of their life blood is pretty inhumane when you think about it."

"Alright, enough about the Cullens! We need to find out what the hell is going on because this house isn't normal!" Paul shouted. "I mean everything looks so old!"

"Yeah, you're right, it's not the same house. I'm going to see if the upstairs looks different, too." Bella walked upstairs with Jacob and Paul trailing close behind. She opened each bedroom door and realized that the entire house seemed to have gone through some sort of retro makeover.

"The whole house is screwed up. There are no beds," Paul pointed out.

"Obviously. They don't sleep."

"Yeah, but don't they…uh…they…you know?"

"No, I don't know. Don't they what?"

"Don't they have sex?"

Bella put a finger under her chin and started thinking. Did the Cullens have sex? She wasn't quite sure. Edward always felt that sex was an inappropriate subject for innocent ears so they never really broached the subject. "I'm not sure," she replied. I think Rosalie and Emmett have sex, but I think they said they do it in the forest away from prying ears."

"Kinky. So here's my next question: Do the rooms upstairs look different to you?"

"Yeah, they do. Oh my God, they do. The entire house looks like it went back in time to the olden days. And you know what else?"

"What?"

"Jasper and Alice's room is being used as some sort of an elaborate sewing room. How weird? Um, maybe we should get out of here. Something definitely isn't right."

The threesome quickly left the house and locked it up, replacing the key back in the hidden panel and the boulder back to its original location.

"I'm going to phase. That means turn into a wolf," Paul explained. "I want you both to climb onto my back afterwards. I'm going to run us back to the reservation. It'll be faster that way."

"Of course, you'd have to be super-fast to catch vampires," Bella breathed with admiration in her eyes.

"Exactly." Once in his wolf form, Paul got down on his haunches so Bella and Jacob could climb onto his back. As soon as he was sure that they were hanging on as tight as possible, he started running. He didn't run as fast as he was capable of out of fear that his two charges would fall off. He stopped as soon as he got to the woods behind Sam's house. He returned to his human form once his passengers climbed down. "We should walk from here."

"Why are we behind Sam Uley's house?" Jake asked.

"Because he can help us."

"How the heck is Sam Uley going to help us?"

"He's the current alpha of the wolf pack. He has to help us."

As the trio approached the house, Paul did a double take. Emily's garden was gone—probably uprooted by the twister, and the house had a brand new paint job. The painters were really quick because it was only yesterday that Emily had been complaining to Sam about how the house hadn't been painted in at least twenty years. Paul walked in through the back door and called, "Sam, we're back. I have Jake and Bella with me. We're all okay."

"Who the hell are you?" a middle aged man dressed in business pants and a dress shirt asked. He had his arms folded in front of his chest and a scowl on his face. Paul thought he looked somewhat familiar, but he couldn't place him.

"Excuse me, we're looking for Sam Uley."

"Uley? It figures you're looking for them. They live four doors down in the gray house." The man eyed Paul up and down. "What happened to your clothes, boy?"

"I…I…lost them."

"Lost them? Who the hell loses his clothes? You need to put something on. We're a respectable tribe here. We don't hold with none of this teenaged, clothes shedding nonsense like you Makahs do."

"Makah? Excuse me? Who are you?"

Before the man could answer Paul's question, the front door swung open and a teenaged boy with a mullet walked inside holding a massive oversized boom box with Boy George's "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" blaring from it. Paul could identify the song because it was his father's favorite tune to croon whenever he was drunk.

"Adam Lahote, where the hell have you been? It's almost 6 pm! I told you I wanted you home right after school, boy! You're failing Spanish; you should be home studying! Your mom is searching the reservation high and low for you—now where were you? Were you chasing after that Gloria girl again? I told you I didn't want you to have anything to do with that family! Answer me, boy!"

Paul's eyes widened. He shoved Jake and Bella out of the house and ran into the woods with them. "What the hell is going on? That was my grandfather and my dad! Only my dad was my age!"

"Um, guys, did you see the TV in the house? It was old and huge! I think my grandmother had one like that and it had some weird, old show on it."

"It wasn't just the TV, Jake! It was everything! The clothes everyone was wearing, the appliances, the furniture. Oh my God! Have we traveled back in time or something?" Bella questioned, completely aghast.

"You know something else?"

"What?" Paul and Bella both turned their attention to Jacob.

"Four doors down is not the Uley house, it's the Clearwater house."

"Clearwater—as in your dad and my dad's fishing buddy Harry Clearwater—the master of the fish fry?" Bella questioned.

"The one and only."

"So why did that guy say it was the Uley house?"

The three teens sat on the forest floor in horror and shock as they let this new information sink into their brains. They had no idea what was going on, except that they were sure that something was wonky in the Olympic Peninsula.

"There's only one way to verify if we're in some sort of time warp. I am going to walk to the tribal store and check the date on a newspaper," Bella declared and stood up. She had a determined expression on her face.

"You aren't going there alone!"

"Yeah, Bella. I'm with Paul on this. You can't go there alone because if we're doing some sort of a weird Harry Potter time turner thing, we need to stick together—all three of us!"

"Paul can't exactly walk around naked with his dongle swaying in the wind, can he?"

"This is true. We need to find some clothes for you, Paul. You can't be walking around the reservation naked. You'll scare the bejesus out of everyone."

"And just where the hell am I supposed to find clothes for myself?" He turned to Bella. "Dongle? For real?"

"Well, I'm not going to call it the p-word or the d-word. I don't like those words."

"A dongle, though? Can't you think of another word?"

"I'll work on it."

"Fine, now where should I find clothes?"

"At the Cullen house, where else?" Jacob suggested.

"You want me to put on some bloodsucker's clothes?" Paul asked incredulously.

"Sure, why not?" he shrugged his shoulders and twirled Old Quil's stick in his hand.

"You can put Emmett's stuff on. He was really nice and, as an added bonus, he was buff like you," Bella told him.

"Guys, I need to enlighten you about one fact."

"What's that?"

"Bloodsuckers smell foul to us."

"Well, did the Cullen house smell foul to you?"

"Uh…not really. I think it's been vacant for a long time so any lingering smell has long since dissipated."

"Then I don't see why you can't just borrow their clothes," Jacob said. "This is no time to be stubborn."

"Hell no! I would rather steal clothes off of a clothesline."

"If it helps, Emmett always thought Edward was a prick," Bella said. "I agree with Jacob; we have to go back to the Cullen house. It's our only safe haven."

Paul suddenly noticed the stick that Jacob had been spinning. "Not our only safe haven. We have another option."

"Go ahead. What other option do we have?"

He took the stick from Jacob and grinned. "Old Quil."


	4. Chapter 4

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was previously published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

The trio made their way to Old Quil's house, which was located on the opposite side of their current location. Because Paul was naked, they had to go the long way, through the forest that surrounded the reservation, and by the time they arrived in the old man's backyard, they were all exhausted and hungry. In all honesty, they had reached that point hours ago.

"We're here. How should we handle this?" Jacob asked.

"I suppose we just knock on the door," Paul replied. "Uh…one of you had better do it. I'm naked."

"Obviously. Like we haven't noticed him walking with his tackle hanging out," Bella muttered sarcastically.

"Tackle, Bella? I'm not sure what's worse, dongle or tackle!"

"Well, you're the one who told me that you didn't want your pee-pee called a dongle so I thought tackle would be better."

"Did you just call it a pee-pee?"

"Yes, I did! I don't like the other p-word!"

"You don't like the p-word? I don't like dongle, tackle, or pee-pee! Think of something else to call it, damn it!"

Jake stared at his two fellow castaways as they argued about what he thought was the stupidest subject ever. He was about to go in and break the argument up when the back door swung open and a man came striding outside. He had slicked-back, jet black hair and wore a pink Oxford shirt with dress slacks and penny loafers. He looked like a conservative, businessman except for the hunting rifle he had aimed at the three kids.

"Who the hell are you? And what are you doing with the spirit stick?"

Jacob was about to hand the stick over to the man when Bella abruptly snatched it from him.

"I need to verify who you are, sir, so that we may return this to the rightful owner. May I see a government issued photo ID please? Perhaps a driver's license, passport, or a tribal registration card?"

"Listen to me, little girl, you need to show some respect! Do you know who I am? I am in line to be a tribal elder!"

"That you may be, but you still need to present a valid form of identification to me."

"Of all the goddamned, smart aleck, little twits…"

"Your bluster is going to get you nowhere, mister!" Bella put her hands on her hips and gave the man a stern glare. She had two motives for asking for his ID: to verify his identity and to get an approximation of the year they were in. It was becoming more and more clear to her that they had somehow managed to travel back in time.

A beautiful woman in her thirties walked outside just then. She had pale skin and chocolaty brown hair, which was permed—over permed—and held together at the crown with a gigantic jaw clip. She had expressive doe eyes, which were a deep brown color framed by long, lush eyelashes. Something about her seemed very familiar to Bella, but she couldn't place it.

"Quil Ateara the Third! What on earth are you doing harassing these poor children?"

"Harassing? I wasn't harassing them! That girl was harassing me! She has my dad's spirit stick, but won't give it to me unless I show her my ID."

"I would say that's mighty intelligent of her. Now stop your bluster this instant because it's going to get you nowhere, and show her your driver's license."

"Yes, Molly," the man replied glumly before digging his wallet out of his back pocket. He pulled his license out and handed it to Bella. All three kids peered at the ID. Their eyes widened when they saw it was set to expire on September 13, 1990.

Bella whispered to her friends, "His license is going to expire seven years before I was born."

The kids looked up at Old Quil who was apparently thirty-five years old.

"Well, are you done inspecting my driver's license?"

Bella returned it to him and cleared her throat. She tried to appear as businesslike as possible. "Thank you, sir."

"And is my father the rightful owner of the spirit stick?"

"Probably, sir, but I'm afraid we cannot return the stick to you. We've run into a snafu."

Old Quil's nostril flared with anger when he realized the girl wasn't going to hand over the stick peacefully.

"Young lady, what you have in your hands is an ancient and powerful Quileute artifact."

"Yes, sir, I am fully aware of its capabilities. It's for that reason that I can't simply hand the magic stick to you. "

"How are you aware of its capabilities?"

Bella decided to answer his question with one of her own. "Did you know Quileutes are supposedly descended from wolves?"

Old Quil turned to Jacob and Paul. "Which one of you idiots told the Hok'wat girl about our legends?"

"Hok'wat girl? That's pretty racist of you, you know?" Jacob stated in outrage.

"I don't care! I want to know which one of you told the Hok'wat girl about our legends!"

"Quil, darling, I think we need to invite our three guests inside. It's clear that we have much to discuss. Besides," she pointed to Paul, "this young man has been standing outside with his pecker swaying back and forth in the wind for the entire world to see. I want to hear all about how his clothes went missing."

Old Quil, having noticed Paul's nudity for the first time, became irate at his wife. "Molly, we are not inviting this exhibitionist inside for your viewing pleasure! I don't see why we can't just talk to him outside!"

"Why? Hmm…if you haven't noticed, the nude boy has a tattoo etched onto his arm, which is exclusive to certain members of the tribe with a specific genetic anomaly, one which includes your father."

Old Quil's eyes bulged after his wife imparted this very essential piece of information. "Are you? Are you?"

"Yes, he's a wolf—a very pretty, silver one—now, are you going to help us or does my friend have to stand here with his thingy out in the open, exposed to all sorts of elements?" Bella demanded. "Look at it. It's already shriveling up!"

Everyone's eyes zeroed in on Paul's penis, which he quickly covered with his hands.

"Come inside," he said as he held the backdoor open for the trio and led them into the living room. He motioned to a sofa and told them, "Sit down." The kids did what he asked and quickly sat, side by side. Old Quil settled into a big reclining armchair across from them. He eyed each kid curiously.

Meanwhile, Molly went upstairs and came back down with a pair of jeans for Paul to put on. He thanked her and quickly slid into them. "They belong to our son Quil. Do you know him?"

"Sure, he's my best friend," Jake replied.

"Oh, really? We've never met you. Who did you say your father was?"

"My dad is Billy Black. He's the chief of the tribe. Everyone knows him."

"Billy Black is your father?" Old Quil asked suspiciously.

"Yes."

"Son, first of all Billy is not the chief of the tribe. Second, I've known the man my entire life. He has five kids: one son and four daughters. Are you telling me he has another son hidden away somewhere?"

"Um, no, sir. I've never been hidden away, and I have two sisters: Rachel and Rebecca."

Molly and Old Quil turned to each other with alarmed expressions on their faces. "Did you say that your sisters are named Rachel and Rebecca?"

"Yes, sir."

Suddenly, a spry, old man wearing a pair of cut-off shorts walked inside the house through the front door. He stopped short when he saw Molly, then scrutinized the scene in front of him. He had short, cropped white hair and his shirtless form was extremely defined for one so old. Paul immediately recognized the tattoo on his arm; it was the same as his, identifying him as a pack member.

The old man put his hands on his hips and took measure of the three youths. He directed his first order at Paul, "You, boy, come outside and phase with me."

Paul swallowed as he took in his fierce expression. "Yes, sir," he replied. He really had no choice. He felt his command wash over him, much like an alpha command; yet, he knew that this man was not his alpha. He was about to stand up, but Bella had an iron grip on his arm.

"You…you can't leave us here."

"I'll be right back, Bella. I promise."

"No! Please don't go. The three of us—we have to stick together! Don't we, Jacob?"

Jake nodded in agreement, standing firm with Bella. Clearly, neither of the two wanted Paul to go anywhere without them.

Paul sighed. It would be irresponsible for him to leave two defenseless humans alone in this weird time warp they were in. "I'm sorry, my friends have to come with me. I can't leave them here alone."

"Boy, we aren't going to hurt your friends. You have my word."

"Well, can't they just come with us?"

"No, you know the rules."

Bella raised her right hand like an anxious schoolgirl. "Sir, sir!"

The old man turned to her. He was about to ask her what she wanted when he spotted the scar on her left wrist. There was a clear bite mark on it, which seemed to sparkle slightly in the light.

Paul noticed it, too. He frowned before gently taking her wrist and examining it. "Who did this to you? Was it Cullen?"

She hesitated before replying, "No, it wasn't Edward or any of his coven. It was a rogue vampire named James who had come into Forks with two of his coven—a redheaded woman named Victoria and a Rastafarian named Laurent."

"Okay, on second thought, everyone outside," the old man ordered. The entire group followed him, including Molly and Old Quil. As soon as he stepped outside, the old man howled into the night sky before continuing on beyond the trees in the backyard into the heavily wooded forest. He stopped when he was about five minutes in by a giant boulder, which Paul was familiar with. This was his pack's designated meeting spot, too.

A couple of minutes later, the thundering paw beats of wolves could be heard approaching the party. Two wolves, one black and one russet colored, ran towards them before the russet colored one tripped over his own fur. The wolves immediately phased back to human form.

"Ow! That hurt! Quil, why the hell were you howling for us? I don't have any more moonshine."

"Honestly, Eph, you really need to keep your hair cropped short in case we need to phase."

"No, this is the first time we've had to phase in over ten years. I want an explanation."

"So do I. This is unacceptable. I was just about to sit down and watch 'The Facts of Life,'" the black wolf griped. He rubbed his lower back. "And my lumbago is bothering me. I'm not in any condition to phase."

"Levi, can't you do anything but complain? You've been griping about your goddamned lumbago since you got married and that was decades ago. Now, we have a situation here."

"What kind of situation?"

"Do you see these youngsters here? Have you ever seen them?"

Levi and Eph eyed the three teens.

"I can't place them. They look familiar, though."

"Exactly. They came to return my spirit stick."

"Dad, that's my spirit stick!" Old Quil argued.

"Not yet, it isn't. It's mine while I'm still alive, damn it! You're not fit to be shaman with you leaving things behind and losing things as if you were a three-year-old. What you need to do is concentrate on raising your hell raising teenager instead of being so eager to take the mantle of shaman from me!" The old man turned back to his two equally old friends. "The problem is that this young lady has a vampire bite and this young man is a wolf." He pointed to Jacob. "On top of that, this young man is on the verge of phasing for the first time."

The one called Eph looked Paul in the eyes. "I command you to phase right now, young wolf!"

Unable to resist the command—a true alpha command, Paul pulled off the borrowed jeans, stepped away from his friends, and phased into his wolf form. The other three elders also phased.

Bella, of course, was outraged. "What did you do to him? He didn't want to become a wolf! What did you do?" She shoved the black wolf named Eph as hard as she could, but he didn't budge.

 _"_ _She's very brave. Is she your imprint?"_ Eph asked Paul.

 _"_ _No, I don't think so."_

 _"_ _How did she get the vampire bite?"_

 _"_ _I don't know. I just met her, really. I knew of her, though, because she dated Edward Cullen."_

 _"_ _Yet, you are very protective of her."_

 _"_ _It's because we're in this time warp together."_

 _"_ _Time warp, huh?"_ he asked before he and the three elder wolves probed Paul's mind for information. After a few minutes, they all returned to human form.

"Well, that was certainly enlightening," Eph said. "Molly, can you rustle up some food for us. We've got a major situation on our hands and we need to figure things out. Where's Little Quil, by the way?"

"Oh, I don't know where he is. He went out with Charlie around six and I haven't seen them since. Speaking of which, I should call Helen and find out if she knows where they are."

"Um, it's actually better if he's not at home. It's best if he doesn't meet our guests. I'll explain why while we're eating. Perhaps you can call Helen and see if she'll keep him for the night."

"Of course. I'll call her now before getting started in the kitchen."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was previously published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

Jacob and Paul sat at the dining table with Bella in between them. All three teens were nervous. Paul, in particular, was still reeling from learning the identities of the three wolves. He was actually sitting in the presence of Ephraim Black, Quil Ateara the Second, and Levi Uley. They were the ones who phased when the Cullens moved to Forks for the first time in 1936. They were also the idiots who made the damned treaty with the vampires. Of course, now that he knew that they were between the ages of twelve and fifteen at the time, he was more forgiving. They'd been boys who had been taken advantage of by older, manipulative, adult vampires.

Molly Ateara placed a big bowl of spaghetti and a pot of meat sauce in the middle of the table.

After everyone was seated with a plate of food, the leader introduced himself to the group, "I am Ephraim Black, current chief of the Quileute tribe and alpha of the wolf pack."

He pointed to the other two wolves and was about to introduce them, but before he could say anymore a wide-eyed Jacob stood up, pointed at him, and blurted, "Ephraim Black as in Ephraim Black my great-grandfather?"

"Yes," he confirmed to his great-grandson who fainted straight into his dish of spaghetti.

"Jake? Jakey?" Bella shook her friend in an attempt to rouse him. She stood up. "Just great! Wonderful!" She turned to Paul who was trying to shake Jake awake while simultaneously wolfing down his spaghetti. "I want to know what the hell is going on here now! And why did you have to turn into a wolf with these old guys?"

"I had to because Ephraim Black is the alpha."

"And an alpha is?"

"An alpha is the leader of the wolf pack. If he makes a command, we have to do as he says. He had me phase so he could read my mind."

"What? You let him read your mind?" an incensed Bella asked.

"I can't help it. It happens while we're phased. I can read their minds, too. At least I think I can. Well, they shared some pertinent information with me." Paul had found out that these elder wolves had skills that none of his pack had. For one thing, they had the ability to block certain thoughts from being read by others. Paul couldn't do that at all. Maybe these elders would teach him that skill.

"And?" Bella nodded her head waiting for a reply. "What did you find out?"

Paul sighed. "We're in La Push."

"Clearly."

"In 1987," he informed her.

"1987? Are you kidding me? How the hell can a twister bring us to 1987?"

"Obviously it wasn't a twister!"

"Well, what was it then?"

"It was ancient Quileute magic," Ephraim Black replied. "The three of you were sent back to right a wrong. In essence, you three are the chosen ones."

"Excuse me?" Bella asked. "Why are we the chosen ones? We never asked to be the chosen ones."

"That's what we need to figure out, Isabella Swan."

"How do you know my name? I never told you my name!"

"I read it from Paul's mind."

Bella turned to Paul. "Why are you telling him my name? I never said you could tell this bozo my name!"

Bozo? Paul was pretty sure that the exalted Ephraim Black had never been called a bozo. He hoped there weren't any consequences written in the by-laws for insulting an elder.

"He plucked it out of my mind. I couldn't help it! And they know some weird Jedi mind tricks that we've never been taught. I mean Sam has less control over what his brain spews than the rest of us wolves and he's the alpha!"

Levi Uley took a deep breath. "Paul, we will teach you to control your thoughts while you are here. It is an important skill for wolves to have."

"We shall most certainly train you properly so that you can teach the other wolves your skills, young one," Ephraim agreed.

For some reason, Bella started giggling. "What's so funny?" Paul asked.

She pointed to the elder wolves. "They're like the jedi masters and you're their young padawan."

Paul grinned. "Hey, you're right. That's pretty cool!" He really liked that Bella was a Star Wars fan because he was, too.

"What is a padawan?" Levi asked.

"It's a jedi in training. Each padawan is assigned to a jedi for mentoring and training."

"Which movie was this in? I don't recall padawans being mentioned in any of the Star Wars films."

"Um, it was in The Phantom Menace," Paul informed him.

"The Phantom Menace?" The wolf's eyes lit up. "You mean there's a fourth part coming out?"

"More like parts one, two, and three."

"I don't understand."

There will be three more Star Wars movies coming out, but they're prequels. They tell the backstory to the three films that you know of. They're also planning three more—parts seven, eight, and nine."

"Dad! What's going on? Who are these children?" Old Quil asked abruptly with alarm in his eyes. "How come they know so much about future Star Wars films?"

Quil the Wolf took over the conversation. "Quil, Molly—I don't know how to tell you this so I'm just going to tell you straight—these kids are from the future. This here is Adam Lahote's son Paul, this is Charlie Swan's daughter Isabella, and the boy who has fainted into his spaghetti is Jacob Black—son of Billy Black, Jr. He is Ephraim's great-grandson."

"Stop joking, Dad! This isn't funny."

"I'm not joking. I'm telling you the truth. I read it from Paul's mind."

"He's not joking, Quil," Molly said. "Spaghetti Boy is the spit and image of Sarah Black and the Wolf Boy looks like Gene did when he was young—except for his eyes—his eyes are different. Then there's the girl—look at her—she looks just like my mother when she was young."

Bella was becoming perturbed with the adults at this point. They were talking to each other as if the kids weren't there in front of them.

"Excuse me! We have ears, you know! And why the hell would I look like your mother?"

Molly turned to her with a stern expression. "First of all, watch your temper in my house. Second, you look like my mother because she is your great-grandmother. My name is Molly—formerly Molly Swan now Ateara-Aunt Molly to you—I'm your grandfather Geoffrey's sister."

"Holy shit! I'm related to Quil!" she exclaimed, and promptly received a slap across her cheek from her new Aunt Molly. "Hey, that's child abuse! You hit me!"

"Pfft. A little discipline would do you some good. There is no swearing in this house, young lady. Do you understand me?" Bella simply nodded at the woman in reply. "I can tell that you're as impertinent as your father!"

"My father? Impertinent? Why he's as straight-laced and boring as they come! All he does is fish and watch games on TV—usually with Jake's dad."

Speaking of Jacob, he was just waking up, slowly rising from his pillow of spaghetti. "What...what happened?"

"Jake, are you okay? You fainted."

"Ah, Bells, I just had the worst dream ever. We were in a twister with Paul Lahote, landed in the eighties, and we met my great-grandfather."

"Hello, grandson," Ephraim Black greeted, while Molly wiped the spaghetti sauce off of Jacob's face using a dish rag.

"Crap! It's all true, then? We're back in the eighties?"

"In 1987 to be exact."

"Well, how the heck do we get back to our time?"

"That's the magic question, isn't it?" Ephraim Black replied. "Now, let me continue with introductions. I am Ephraim Black." He turned to Jacob. "Don't faint again. He pointed to his other pack members. "This is Levi Uley and this is Quil Ateara the Second."

"I swear. Can't you Atearas be more original with your names? I mean my buddy Quil is like the fifth Quil Ateara in a row," Jacob noted.

"Let's stay on topic here." Ephraim stopped the conversation from going off track. He turned to Bella. "This woman here is your great aunt; your grandfather Geoffrey's sister Molly and the man you refer to as Old Quil is her husband—your great uncle by marriage."

"Are you telling me that Quil is my cousin?" Bella asked.

"Um, well, he is your father's cousin."

"Not that Quil!" She pointed to Old Quil, the younger Old Quil—not Quil the wolf. "I meant his grandson Quil."

"Ah, you're talking about a future Quil. Well, yes, I suppose he would be your distant cousin."

"Ew! Gross! He keeps hitting on me!"

"I will ensure that my future grandson is aware that you are his cousin," Molly assured.

"And this is exactly the problem. We should not be discussing the future too much; otherwise, we might actually jeopardize it."

"I don't understand?"

"We are in danger of manipulating the future too much. The kids were sent here for a specific reason. It is that reason and that reason alone, which we must fix. Any other fixes would be unintended and have grave consequences for our future…and…" Ephraim fixed his eyes on Jacob, "…these kids are our future."

"So, what is the reason?"

Simultaneously, the three elders replied, "I have no idea."

And then, with a grave countenance, Ouil the Second added, "But we have to figure it out in order to ensure the sanctity of the tribe for future generations and, most importantly, so we can get these kids back home."

And that final comment caused everyone to gasp in alarm.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was previously published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 **I POSTED TWO CHAPTERS TODAY SO IF YOU'RE CONFUSED, GO BACK AND READ CHAPTER 5!**

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

It was decided that the kids would stay in a hunting cabin located in the woods between Forks and La Push, which was owned by Quil the Wolf. It was secluded, but still accessible by a rarely used road, and the kids would be able to remain out of the public eye, which was deemed best.

Old Quil dropped them off for the night with the promise that he would return in the morning.

"I have no idea what's going on, but the elders will get to the bottom of this."

"It's so weird that you're not an elder yet. For as long as I could remember, you've been an elder," Jake informed him.

"Boy, what did my father say? Don't give us information about the future. You could jeopardize it."

"Sorry, sir."

"Now, you kids get some rest. You've had a long day. You boys can take the living room and my niece can take the bedroom. There are extra cots and bedding in the closet and the kitchen is fully stocked. Help yourself to anything. The bathroom is in the corner there. You can take showers if you want to."

"Old Quil, sir. This is really nice. How come you never told us about this place?" Paul asked.

"That's another mystery that I truly don't want to delve into. Get some rest. We'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Yes, sir. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he replied before closing the door.

After Old Quil left, the kids stared awkwardly around the cabin. Bella was the first to speak up. "I guess we should go to sleep. Um…goodnight."

"Yeah, goodnight," Paul replied.

"Sweet dreams, Bells," Jake called as she entered the bedroom.

She shuddered at the statement. She was worried. She was still waking from nightmares ever since Edward's departure. Jake and Paul would probably think she was insane. Sighing, she crawled into bed and tried to conjure up happy thoughts, hoping that they would stave off the nightmares.

 ** _Two hours later…_**

Paul bolted awake at the sound. Someone was screaming. He looked at the cot next to him where Jake was snoring away. How anyone could sleep through that noise, he had no idea.

"Aaaaaaaah!" There it was again. It was a high-pitched, terror filled keening noise and it was coming from the bedroom.

Paul realized Bella must be in trouble and rushed into the room to help her. She was thrashing in bed, clutching the blanket to her, terrified. She was having a nightmare. He went to her side. "Bella…Bella. Shh…it's only a nightmare," he soothed while holding her hand. He continued whispering to her and she calmed down after a few minutes. When her breathing became stable, Paul released her hand and stood up.

"Don't…don't leave me. Please," she begged. "Edward, please. I know I'm not good enough for you. I'll change. I'll do whatever you want me to."

Paul looked at her. Her eyes were closed and she was still sleeping. He wasn't sure how to deal with this.

"Don't go!" she cried forcefully before she started thrashing from the nightmare again.

"Bella? Bella?" he called, worried. "Wake up. You're having a nightmare."

He was upset. He was upset that the bloodsucker had the nerve to cut her self-confidence to pieces. What right had he to do such a cruel thing to so nice a girl?

"You're better than that vampire," he whispered in her ear. "Way better!"

Her nightmare continued so he decided to climb into the bed with her and hold her in hopes of the action calming her down. It worked. She soon relaxed against him and fell asleep. Exhausted from the day's events, Paul quickly joined her in a deep slumber.

 ** _The next morning…_**

Paul woke up early to the sound of howling—wolf howling. He was about to bolt up and answer the call when he realized that Bella was still in his arms. He softly caressed her cheek before gently slipping out of bed without waking her. He took a long look at her. He cared about her. He had no idea why, but he cared about her wellbeing and he just couldn't stand the fact that Cullen had hurt her in such a callous way.

Another howl was heard in the distance. He was clearly being summoned. With one last look, Paul stepped outside, phased, and took off to meet with the elder wolves. As soon as they saw him approaching, they returned to human form as did Paul.

"How did you sleep?" Ephraim Black asked.

"I slept well, thanks."

"Good, good. We asked you to come because we want to go over some of what we learned from the shared mental bond last night. Have you had any contact with anyone other than our group yesterday."

"Um, yeah, we ran into my father and grandfather."

Ephraim sighed. "That is quite unfortunate. Can you tell us what happened?"

"Sure. We walked into their house, thinking it was Sam Uley's house. It turned out to be my grandfather's house. I realized that after my father walked into the house. I recognized him from when…when I was younger." Paul wanted to say that his father looked like he remembered him from happier days before his father became a drunkard, but he didn't. "I had never met my grandfather before. He died before I was born."

The three elders looked at each other with concern. Paul fidgeted, unsure of what else to say.

"Bella and Jake were with you as well?"

"Yes, sir."

"And did you identify yourselves to Gene and Adam?"

"No, sir, but we asked where Sam Uley lived."

"When he told us where the Uley's lived, was the moment we realized that something was seriously wrong. You see four doors down is where the Clearwater house is in my time."

"Geez, I wonder what the hell happened," Levi Uley muttered before changing the topic. "Last night, we read in your mind that you were transported here with a car. Where is that car?"

"Uh, it's pretty deep in the forest. I can lead you there."

"No, it should be safe there."

"Okay, kid, we need to gather up your friends. We're taking you to Molly's salon. She needs to update your hair so you look more with the times. Jacob and Bella, especially, stick out like sore thumbs with their weird hair. At least your hair is cropped short, but that Jacob boy with his straight, long hair. He looks as ridiculous as his grandfather does."

"Hey, I don't look ridiculous!" Ephraim Black protested. "I see nothing wrong with my great-grandson's hair. We Blacks pride ourselves on our hair."

"Yeah, that's why you keep tripping over your own fur whenever you're phased, you klutz!"

"Alright, alright. That's enough about my fur. Let's go and pick my great-grandson and Charlie's kid up. We've got things to do today."

The three elders and Paul phased into wolves and ran back to the cabin. Well, Paul ran. The three old men kind of trotted.

 _"_ _Oomph!_ _"_ Ephraim Black groaned as he tripped over his own fur and collided into Paul.

 _"_ _Are you alright, sir?"_

 _"_ _What the hell are they feeding you boy? You feel like a concrete wall."_

 _"_ _You really should consider cutting your hair, sir,"_ Paul suggested.

 _"_ _Boy, you stay out of business that doesn't concern you! Phase out!"_

And with that command all the wolves returned to human form. Levi and Quil were sniggering at Ephraim about his fur. Paul dared not say anything more. It was bad enough that Bella had called him a bozo.

They walked into the cabin and woke Jake and Bella, both of whom got ready quickly, before they were driven to Molly Ateara's beauty salon in Forks.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was previously published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

"Wow, I didn't know that Mrs. Ateara had a salon on South Forks Avenue," Jake commented.

"Neither did I," Bella commented. "I think Mrs. Mallory owns this salon now."

"Well, Molly and…" Quil the Wolf stopped to correct himself. "Molly does right now and it's a popular one. All the teenagers come here."

"Oh."

"Alright, go on inside kids. Molly will bring you back to see us later."

The kids entered the salon where Mrs. Ateara was waiting inside for them.

"Welcome. Welcome! Let's get started, shall we? We'll start with you, Bella. You're going to need a perm for sure and we should probably frost your hair."

Bella's eyes widened in shock. Her hair was the one thing she really liked about herself, and there was no way Quil's grandmother was going to come near it with damaging chemicals. She backed up towards the front door. She glanced up to see both Paul and Jake shaking their heads and mouthing the word, 'No.'

"Thank you for the kind offer, but no," she replied. She glanced up to see Paul breathing a sigh of relief.

"What's wrong with you, girl? Most girls would dream about getting a free perm."

"I…I…I can't."

"Why not?"

Bella had to think quickly. She really didn't want to offend this lady, but she had seen photos of her mother with a perm in the eighties. She really had no desire to look like a poodle. No way, no how, was she getting a perm. Suddenly, a recent conversation with Jessica Stanley popped into her mind. She was complaining about how she didn't want to audition for the spring musical because she would not be able to get her hair done until it was over, since everyone had to keep his or her hair the way it was when they auditioned.

"Right, the reason why I can't get my hair done is because…because I'm in the school play. Not now, of course, but in the future."

"Oh, really?" Molly asked suspiciously. "What play is it and what role do you have?"

Bella gulped. She tried to remember the school play. Was it 'Grease'? Meh, she'll never know. "Um, I play the role of Sandy in 'Grease'." Damn it, it was 'High School Musical,' she thought in hindsight.

"You have the lead?"

"Yes, yes, I do." She nodded her head and smiled so she could sound more convincing.

"Well, then, there's nothing that can be done. You have the lead role in 'Grease'." Molly suddenly hugged her. "Oh, Bella, I'm so proud of you! You are continuing with family tradition. We Swans pride ourselves in our stage acting. Your grandmother had the lead in her school production of 'Romeo and Juliet' and I had the lead in 'Gone With the Wind.' Did you know that my husband, your great uncle, played Rhett Butler?"

"Old Quil played Rhett Butler?" Paul asked doubtfully.

"Oh, yes, he was such a handsome devil back then."

Paul and Jake both started sniggering.

"Well, now, we can't do much about your hair. We'll just have to wash it, put it in rollers, and have you sit under the dryer. After that, we can use hairspray—a lot of hairspray."

"Uh, sure, I can deal with that."Bella breathed a sigh of relief.

After Molly washed Bella's hair, put curlers in it, and stuck her under the dryer, she turned to Jake and Paul. "As for you boys. Hmm…there's not much we can do about Paul's hair—it's so short. Unfortunately, he needs it that way. Let me think. Ooh, I know what I'll do."

"Um…"

"Come on, sit down. Time's a wasting."

Unable to protest, Paul sat in the chair and let Molly do her worst. She buzzed the sides and trimmed a bit off of the top. After that, she got out a bowl and a brush and started applying some sort of paste to his hair."

Concerned, he asked, "Excuse me, ma'am. What are you putting on my hair?"

"Oh, just a little color. Trust me, you'll look wonderful." Paul shrugged his shoulders. If the color looked screwed up, he could just take the clippers and shave it all off. As it stood, his hair was super short anyway because it got in the way if it was too long when phased. A good example was Ephraim Black, who kept tripping over his own fur. "Okay, you just sit tight, honey."

"Uh, sure."

Meanwhile, Molly grabbed Bella, who was done drying and took the rollers out of her hair. She then started teasing her hair with a comb and hairspray—lots and lots of hairspray. "Perfect. So gorgeous," she said as she urged Bella to take a look in the mirror at her new hairdo.

"Oh my God! It's so big," she commented with a grimace.

"It's supposed to be big. It's the in style."

"But, but…I look like I put my finger in an electric socket and my hair got fried."

"Bite your tongue, young lady! Your hair looks good, considering the fact that I couldn't perm it."

"Holy crap, Bells, you look like Medusa with that hair," Jake commented when Molly was out of earshot.

"I know, right? Ick."

Molly grabbed Paul and took him to the sink to rinse his hair out. "Oh, perfect, perfect! You look gorgeous!" Molly cried excitedly. "Let's get you to the chair so I can style it for you."

Paul settled into Molly's chair and took a look at his reflection in the mirror. His jaw dropped. In the background, he could see Bella and Jake cracking up in laughter at the sight of him.

"Um, you bleached my hair. You didn't color it," Paul commented.

"You look gorgeous. Trust me, this is the look."

After thoroughly checking out his new do in the mirror, Paul realized that his hair didn't really didn't look too bad. He sighed and let her spike his hair with gel.

"What do you think?" Molly asked.

"I like it," Paul stated with a wink and a smile.

"Oh, you're a heartbreaker, aren't you? Look at you, flirting with me," she giggled before turning to Jacob. "Are you ready for your haircut, young man?"

"Sure, why not?" Jake figured that Paul's hair wasn't that bad so, rather than argue with her, he sat in the chair.

"Oh, you're nice and easy-going. I've got the perfect style for you. Let's wash your hair first."

While Jake was being worked on, Paul sat next to Bella, who was perusing a copy of some magazine called Tiger Beat.

He peered at the images of the teenagers in the magazine.

"Oooh, he's hot," Bella whispered.

Paul snatched the magazine from her. "How the hell can you call this guy hot?" He flipped the pages of the magazine. "Look at these? He always has a shirt covering him. You know what that means?"

"What does it mean?"

"It means he has no bod."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You're jealous."

"Uh, no. Why the hell would I be jealous?"

"Because this guy is hotter than you are, even if his hair is kind of messed up."

"Messed up is right. He has a mullet."

"I know. I hate mullets, but this guy is hot even with the mullet. What's his name anyway?" Bella asked.

"Hmm…" Paul scanned the article. "It says his name is Rob Lowe."

"Cool."

"Stop looking at him."

"Stop acting so jealous!"

"I am not jealous."

"Sure, you're not."

"I just want to know what's so hot about him?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's those beautiful eyes or that chiseled jawline." She turned to Paul and put her thumb under his chin. "Okay, so you're kind of hot yourself."

"That's better. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Mr. Insecurity."

Paul did a double take. "Did you just…" and then he stopped in his tracks when she saw that she was grinning. He realized she was joking. "You're a little smart-aleck, did you know that?"

"Possibly."

"Well, you should joke more. I like this side of you."

"Thank you." She glanced out of the window as South Forks Avenue began to come alive. The perilous situation she and her friends were in came to the forefront of her mind. "Paul, do you think we'll be able to get back home?"

"I hope so, but I don't know. It's the honest truth. Here's the thing: this year has been so fucked up. I didn't plan on turning into a wolf. I just did. It's kind of like how I'm pretty sure you didn't plan on dating a vampire or learning about this strange, supernatural world that we're both caught up in. Why did you ever come to Forks in the first place?"

"It was because of my mother. She got remarried to a younger guy. I mean really young. He's like twenty-six or something. Anyway, he's a baseball player, trying to make it in the big leagues. He finally got his break and made it onto a minor league team in Florida. Well, Mom wanted to travel with him, but she couldn't because I still had school so I volunteered to come here to Forks and live with Daddy instead."

"Well, hell, why the heck would you sacrifice yourself and come to this hellhole? I would have stayed in Phoenix. Were you happy there?"

"Of course I was happy in Phoenix. I was doing well in school. I was in the high school chorus and drama department. I was a cheerleader, I played softball, and I took karate lessons, but it was the first time my mom really fell in love since being with my dad and I wanted her to be happy."

"Bella, self-sacrifice is okay to an extent, but sometimes you have to think about what's good for you. You were successful at your old school and now look at you. That asshole vampire left you sad and depressed."

"Well, I'll just have to bounce back, I guess." She looked down at her toes.

"Of course you're going to have to bounce back. You can't stay depressed."

"What about you, Paul? What's your life like? I mean I don't really know you, but you know about me now. Are you happy?"

"I'm as happy as can be considering the crap hand I was dealt."

"What do you mean?"

"My dad—you know the guy we saw yesterday?"

"The one listening to Boy George?"

"That's the one. Anyway, my life was great until my mom took off and he turned into a drunk. I hate living at home so I'm always looking for a place to bunk at night."

"Well, can't we get your dad some help? We can't have you living with an alcoholic father."

"I don't know, maybe. I wouldn't even know where to start, you know? My reputation isn't that good on the reservation. Because my dad is the way he is, people assume I'm like him. I'm not, though. At least, I try not to be."

"I don't think you are. And you can bunk with me when we get back. My dad is always fishing and stuff so he'll never know. I have a chaise lounge in my room. You can sleep on that."

"For real?"

"Yeah, for real."

"Awesome." Paul was genuinely happy. As he got to know her, he was discovering that Bella Swan was a cool chick and really caring, too. It was funny how the other wolves and even the tribal elders made assumptions about her because she got involved with the Cullens, but Paul realized that those assumptions were completely wrong. She truly was a sweet girl.

Bella smiled at Paul. She smiled at him because she liked him—really liked him. She thought he was a nice guy if you got through his gruff exterior. She liked how straightforward he was and how he truly cared about her wellbeing. It was strange, but the more time she spent with Paul, the more she realized how cruel and selfish Edward Cullen really was. She wished she had never gotten involved with him—ever. It was the stupidest thing she'd ever done.

"Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"You mentioned that you were in drama and chorus, played softball, and that you were a cheerleader in Phoenix."

"That's right."

"Well, how come you don't do that stuff here?"

Bella paused to think. She really had no idea why she didn't participate in the same extra-curricular activities she did at her old school in Phoenix. She thought back to when she first arrived in Forks last year. How had she been feeling? She had felt sad and rejected by her mother, yet excited about the prospect of living with her father and getting to know him. And then what had happened? Her father turned out to be more interested in getting together with his friends to watch sports, go fishing, hunting, anything but hang out with her. It was like he was uncomfortable with her. And so, Bella became more introverted. She'd always been initially shy about meeting people, but she realized that her more recent interactions—or lack thereof—with her parents had left her disheartened. Plus, there was the part she wasn't saying. She had a boyfriend in Phoenix and he had abruptly dropped her for another girl. She was still getting over that shock when Edward Cullen popped into her life. Damn it! She knew she shouldn't have gotten involved with him. He was a rebound guy. Oh, hell! Edward Cullen was a rebound guy! He was simply a distraction to keep her from thinking about the real problem: the fact that her ex-boyfriend Nick dropped her for her supposed best friend Sophia all because she wasn't ready to give up her virginity to him! And why the heck was she still keeping in touch with those backstabbers on Facebook? Gee whiz! Was she being a masochist or what?

"Bella? Are you okay?" Paul asked.

She smiled. She smiled a bigger smile than she had smiled in a long time because she had come to the realization that Nick, Sophia, Edward, and all those who had hurt her were really meaningless to her.

"I'm fine." She abruptly hugged him, her newfound enlightenment making her bold. "I'm more than okay. Thank you, Paul!"

"You're welcome. I don't know what I did, but you're welcome." He paused for a second. "Um, what did I do?"

And so Bella told Paul all about the crap she had gone through with Nick and Sophia before coming to Forks. She explained how it just now occurred to her that by the time she got here from Phoenix, she was so down and depressed about the situation that she had blocked it from her mind.

"Bella, that Nick guy and Cullen are cut from the same cloth: they're monsters. And that Sophia girl was clearly never your friend. What kind of friend sleeps with her best friend's boyfriend? What a backstabbing bitch!"

"I know, right?" Bella sighed. "I really wish I had met you first. I don't think you would have let me be depressed. You're just too caring of a guy."

Paul stared at Bella with a stunned expression. 'Caring' was not usually a term used to describe him.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"N…Nothing, it's just that…" He shrugged his shoulders. "Never mind."

"No, not never mind. Something is bothering you. Did I say something to offend you?"

"Offend me?" She nodded at him. "No, of course you didn't offend me. I was just kind of surprised. No one has ever called me caring. I'm known as a real fuck-up on the reservation."

"Fuck-up? No way! How could anyone ever consider you anything, but nice? I've known you for a day, but I know that you're a great guy. You're kind, caring, considerate, and you take your responsibility as a wolf seriously. I mean look at how you protected Jake and me? We've time traveled to this 80's hell and you haven't abandoned us."

"Bella, you don't know me. You can't just…"

"I know you well enough. You've been straight-up and honest with your personality from the first time I met you. You have no idea how rare it is to find an honest guy these days."

"Me? Honest? Now you're going overboard."

"I'm not, Paul Lahote. And after what we've been through in just twenty-four hours, and the kindness you've shown me in that time, I can't help but think of you as anything but an upstanding guy."

Paul broke out into a grin. "You know something Bella Swan? You're actually a pretty cool chick. I'm happy we're friends." He paused for a second before saying, "I don't really have any friends—not any real ones anyway—you're my first real friend."

"Well, guess what? You and Jake are my first real friends, too. So, the three of us can be buddies, okay?"

"You got it."

"Speaking of Jake, I wonder what's taking him so long?"

"No idea. A haircut is pretty quick, especially for guys. We should go and check on him."

"Yeah, I agree. There's no telling what she's doing to him. I mean look at what she did to my hair."

"At least she didn't give you a perm."

"True. I've seen old photos of my mom and her hair was so over-permed that it looked like a rat's nest."

"Yeah, I've seen old pics of my mother, too. She looked like her hair exploded on top of her head. I don't know what my dad ever saw in her."

"That's not nice. I mean she is your mom, after all."

"Yeah, well, my mom abandoned us without a word when I was eight. She's a bitch!"

Bella gasped in shock. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. Have you seen her since?"

"No, Gloria just up and disappeared. She filed for a divorce and gave full custody of me to my dad. That was the last we ever heard from her."

"I'm so sorry, Paul." She wiped her tears with her sleeve. Paul's heart melted. She was actually crying for him. "I know it sucks to come from a broken home. Hell, I had both of my parents, but they were divorced when I was a baby. I've never known what it's like to live with two parents. I'm always envious when I see an intact family."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"You know; I think the fact that the Cullens were so perfect together kind of attracted me to them."

"Perfect? They're vampires!"

"I know that, but…but the couples all had great relationships. They were mated. I wish humans had mates."

"Vampires have mates?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded. "They're soulmates. They live and die for each other. Alice said that when they touch each other, they feel tingles, like electric pulses. Does that make sense?"

"It does. It sounds a lot like imprinting. Wolves have imprints instead of mates. One look into our imprint's eyes and we know instantly that she's our soul mate."

"So it's safe to assume that we're not soul mates?" Bella asked. The knowledge made her a bit sad, but then again, Paul was her friend and she wouldn't want it any other way.

"No, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends."

"Well, I'm glad you're my friend Paul Lahote."

"That makes two of us."

"Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you…do you have an imprint?"

"No, I don't. I don't even know if I'll ever have one."

"Oh. I was just curious." Bella decided to change the subject. "We should check on Jake."

"Definitely. It's taking way too long for him to get his hair done."

The pair was about to stand up and check on Jake when the door to the salon opened and three teenagers walked into the salon.

"Hey, Mom!" one of the boys, who looked a lot like Quil Ateara, but with a really bad haircut, greeted as he entered the salon.

Molly Ateara came rushing out from the back, her eyes wide in shock. "Quil? What are you doing here? Why aren't you in school?"

"Mom, it's Saturday. There's no school today."

She balled up her fists and placed them under her chin. "Oh, it slipped my mind. Now, what do you need?"

"Can I have some money? We were going to Sully's to hang out."

"Oh, of course. Yes, sure. Let me just get my purse," she replied nervously. It was clear to Bella and Paul that she was trying to rush the group out, and the quicker the better because the pair recognized two of the group as their fathers as teenagers.

A few seconds later, one of the teens walked up to them. "Well, look at what we have here. You're hot. What's your name, babe?"

Bella looked up to see her father—her still teenaged father—looking straight at her. He was wearing a yellow polo shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the collar upturned, paired with a pair of chinos. He had a white sweater hanging from his shoulders, tied loosely at his chest. She was a bit stunned to see her father so fashion conscious, well, fashion conscious in the 80's style; she expected to see him sporting a flannel shirt and jeans per usual Charlie Swan style. His two cronies were also dressed similarly.

When she didn't say anything, he asked again, "Hey, I'm talking to you. What's your name? You're a babe." He flashed a smile at her.

Bella crinkled her nose, completely grossed out by the fact that her father was hitting on her. "Ew…" she whispered before turning to Charlie and asking, "I'm sorry. You were talking to him, right?" She pointed to Paul.

"What? No!" Charlie became flustered. "Why the hell would I be talking to him? He's a dude!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed because he's the hot one." Bella smirked at her father who was red in the face.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No. I just got here. Why would I know who you are?"

"I'm Charlie Swan. I'm the quarterback of the football team and the pitcher of the baseball team."

"Oh, so you're a jock who knows how to throw things," Bella replied distastefully.

"Hey, you're lucky that I'm even paying attention to you."

"Hey! You speak to her with respect!" Paul stood up and got right into Charlie's face. His friends, Adam Lahote and Quil Ateara the Fourth immediately flanked their leader.

Paul rolled his eyes and simply flexed his muscles, which bulged through his borrowed t-shirt. The three teens looked a bit intimidated and backed up a few steps.

"Quil, here's some cash. I gave you a little extra so you and your friends can catch that new Arnold Schwarzenegger movie in Port Angeles you've wanted to see and some lunch money," Molly interrupted, rushing to the kids.

"Are you sure, Mom?" Quil asked, and then suspiciously narrowed his eyes. "You're being awfully nice today."

"Oh, I'm positive. I want the three of you to have fun today."

"Score! Thanks, Mom."

"Thank you, Aunt Molly," Adam and Charlie both said.

"You're so welcome boys."

"You're lucky we're busy and we have too much respect for Aunt Molly, but watch your back, you Billy Idol wannabe," Charlie warned Paul. He turned to Bella and winked. "As for you, babe, I'll see you around town."

As soon as Charlie and his friends left the salon, Bella exclaimed, "What a jerk! I can't believe what an arrogant prick my father is!"

"Oh, dear. Oh, dear. I have to call the elders. You weren't supposed to have any contact with the kids," Molly cried. She rushed to the wall phone to place her call before hurrying back to Jacob.

Meanwhile, Paul and Bella contemplated the situation. Their fathers clearly had been friends, but had no contact with each other in the future. They wondered why. Then there was Quil's father who had passed away and Aunt Molly, too. They had actually met deceased people, but they couldn't tell them they were deceased because that would be wrong. Besides, they'd seen 'Back to the Future' and they knew there were severe consequences for messing with the future.

"What I don't understand is, if we're not supposed to mess with the future, why are we here?" Bella asked Paul.

"I have no idea. It's a mystery that we're going to have to solve."

"Yeah, no kidding."

"Ugh. What's that stink?" Paul commented, suddenly wrinkling his nose.

"That would be perm solution," Bella stated, her eyes widening as they met Paul's. Both teens stood up and ran to the sink where Jake's perm rod clad hair was being liberally doused with the chemical.

"Um, Mrs. Ateara, what are you doing to Jake?"

"Oh, I'm just giving him a bit more body," she stated. "His hair is so stick straight. The perm will hold the style more."

"Ma'am, when we return to the future, we still have to look like we belong in the future," Bella told her.

"Oh, honey, the hairstyle I'm giving him will never go out of style. Don't worry." She smiled kindly at Bella. "What's with this 'ma'am' business? I'm your Aunt Molly. You don't have to be so formal, honey."

Resigned, Paul and Bella returned to their seats in the reception area. They chatted about this and that as they waited for Jake's unveiling. Both teens were surprised at how well they got along with each other.

Bella found Paul to be sensitive, intelligent, and funny. He didn't pretend to be cool or talk down to her like both of her ex-boyfriends did. Paul was just a genuinely nice guy.

Meanwhile, Paul thought Bella was simply amazing. She was a great listener and she did not judge him the way most people were predisposed to do. He could tell her anything—even about his crappy father—and she never made assumptions. She really was a special girl.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was previously published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

"Paul, Bella, come and take a look," Aunt Molly called. The pair went to where Jake was sitting to take a look at the results of his perm.

"How do I look?" Jake asked, turning around with a huge grin on his face. "Do I rock this look or what?"

Paul and Bella turned to each other then to Jake with shocked expressions on their faces. Aunt Molly was still spraying loads of toxic hair spray on his layered, permed locks.

"Dude, um…that's a lot of hair," Paul stated.

"Jake, your hair. Oh my God. You look like one of those guys from those big hair bands that my mom likes."

"I know, right? That's the look we were going for. I wanted to blend."

"Blend? Jakey, I'm going to have to give you some of that good conditioner I got from Sephora; otherwise you're going to get split ends. You probably already have split ends."

"Split ends? My clients do not get split ends," Aunt Molly stated in a business-like tone.

"Yeah, well, then how come my friend here looks like he stuck his finger in an electric socket?"

"He does not! I think he looks quite stylish—like those nice boys in Motley Crue. Besides, since you weren't willing to get a perm—someone had to. This was the style I originally had in mind for you."

Bella's mouth dropped open. "I'm happy with the style you gave me. It's beautiful, thank you."

"I thought you'd say that." She patted Bella on the arm then turned to the kids. "Now, the three of you go and wait in my car. We're going to the mall."

"Don't you have a salon to run?"

"I do, but this is an emergency. Helen can handle everything for the day."

"Helen who?" Bella asked, suspecting the answer.

"Helen? What are you talking about? You must have misheard me." Molly looked around wildly as if she was in a panic.

"You said the name Helen. I want to know who Helen is."

Molly sighed. "Helen Swan, your grandmother. She's the co-owner of this salon."

"My grandma? Can…can I meet her?"

"No, honey, you can't. That's why I want you in the station wagon. Elders orders."

"But…I never really knew her. You don't understand. My dad…my dad, when he was…"

"Enough!" Aunt Molly snapped and sympathetically spoke, "Honey, I can't hear whatever it is that you want to say because it will jeopardize all of our futures." She stroked Bella's cheek softly with her palm. "I'll try to find some photos of Helen. I know it's not the same, but…they'll have to..."

"They'll have to what?" another female voice interrupted. "Why do you need to find some photos of me to show this young lady and what's all this about our futures being jeopardized?"

"Helen, I…I didn't hear you come in."

"Obviously." The newcomer, a woman in her late thirties with beautiful, blonde hair and a twinkle in her eyes appraised the three teens, stopping abruptly at Bella. She turned back to Aunt Molly. "Does this have anything to do with the wolf pack and the vampires? Because, clearly, someone has turned my mother-in-law into a bloodsucker."

The three teens stood stunned in shock. They had no idea that Helen Swan knew about the pack and the vampires. This knowledge wasn't to be shared with anyone outside of the pack. Even Bella and Jake hadn't known about the existence of the pack until yesterday.

"How did you find out?" Paul asked curiously.

"Oh, well, Molly told me. She's my best friend. She can't hide anything from me. I can be very persistent."

Aunt Molly slapped a palm over her forehead. She hurried to the front door, locked it, and put up the 'Closed' sign. "This has gotten completely out of control. Helen, before I introduce you to the kids, call our clients to cancel our appointments for today. We have serious business to discuss."

"Aww…that's too bad, I was going to over-process Jackie Stanley's hair…that bitch. Okay, what are we going to tell everyone?"

"Family emergency?" Jake offered.

Molly shrugged her shoulders. "Sounds good."

Twenty minutes later, the kids were herded into the backseat of Aunt Molly's station wagon. Helen Swan was riding in the front passenger seat. The five of them were on the way to the mall in Olympia.

"Alright, what's going on?" Helen asked when they were finally out of town.

Molly took in a deep breath. "Helen, remember that you've been my best friend since we were in kindergarten and that you're good with weird."

"She's like you," Paul noted, looking at Bella.

"Don't compare me to my mother-in-law," Helen snapped.

"I'm not your mother-in-law. I'm your granddaughter."

"Excuse me? Did you just say that you're my granddaughter?"

"Uh-huh." Bella nodded her head with wide, innocent eyes.

Helen turned back to Molly and whispered, "Is the girl okay? She seems a bit unstable. Maybe she smokes marijuana or snorts cocaine or something."

"I beg your pardon! I would never abuse my body that way," Bella snapped, incensed at her grandmother.

"Helen, just let me drive and explain things. Don't interrupt me no matter what."

"Fine." She crossed her arms in front of her chest and scowled at Molly. "Well?" she prompted when the latter had not spoken yet.

And with that, Molly delved into a thorough explanation of who the kids were and the events that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours. She didn't leave anything out; she even told her about Bella not being able to get a perm because she had the lead in Grease. Helen Swan's reaction was completely not one of shock or surprise, but of joy. She climbed into the already crowded backseat of the station wagon, sat on Jacob's lap, and hugged Bella. "My grandbaby. Oh, look at you. You're so precious. You take after me in looks."

"Um, I thought you said that I looked like your mother-in-law."

"I wasn't looking closely enough. You obviously have my eyes and my cheekbones. Oh, and such healthy, healthy hair. And your teeth, they're so straight."

"I had braces until last year."

"Braces?" she asked horrified and shook her head. "That must have come from your mother's side of the family. It couldn't possibly have come from my side or the Swan side. Who is your mother anyway?"

"Helen, you can't ask her questions like that. You'll jeopardize her future. It's bad enough that you know. The elders are going to throw a fit. Seriously, you aren't even supposed to know about the existence of wolves."

"All you need to know is that my mom is a very sweet lady and she doesn't like being compared to people who others hold up on a pedestal," she told her, remembering how Renee hated how Charlie always brought up Helen Swan whenever they argued.

"Bella!" Aunt Molly warned. "Nothing, absolutely nothing, about the future is to be shared."

"Oh, don't yell at my grandbaby!"

"Um, excuse me?" a male voice interrupted.

"Yes?" Helen asked Jake.

"How long are you planning on sitting on my lap?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Why don't you sit in the front seat? I want to sit with my grandbaby." She studied Jake's face. "Oh, you look just like that nice Sarah girl who Billy Junior knocked up last year. You must be a heartbreaker."

"People do say I look like my mom."

"Oh, you do. You do." She shrugged her shoulders. "It's too bad she got involved with the Black boy. I hope he makes something of himself. Hopefully, the birth of the twins will kick him into shape. Are Rachel and Rebecca still adorable?"

"Not really. I like to think of them as Cruella and Devilla."

"Oh, my. They must take after your grandmother."

"Helen, would you stop asking the kids questions? The less they tell us, the better it will be."

Helen simply rolled her eyes then turned to Paul. Jake took the opportunity to escape to the front seat. "You are one gorgeous, young man. Who is your mother?"

"I can't tell you."

"Finally, an intelligent one!" Aunt Molly commented.

"I know you're Adam's son." She smiled. "Oh, he's such a good boy—a bit of a follower. He needs more backbone, and he needs to stop being led along by a leash and think for himself."

"Uh, you should tell him."

"I should?"

"Uh, yeah. Definitely. And while you're at it, tell him not to wallow in depression so much and that alcohol doesn't solve anything. Bad things happen to all of us; the important thing is to move forward in life." Paul figured that his father might need a bit of good advice from someone. It couldn't hurt, could it?

Helen stroked his cheek. "You poor boy. I can tell that you've seen so much in your short life." She nodded her head knowingly and whispered, "I'll do my best."

They all continued chatting throughout the trip, making the drive to Olympia go by in no time.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

Aunt Molly clapped her hands together as they entered the mall. "Okay! Where to first?" she chortled excitedly.

The three kids frowned as they took in the sight of the crowded mall. Everyone looked so weird.

Jake started coughing. "Gross! Those people are smoking. What the hell?"

"Oh, ew! Don't these people know about the dangers of secondhand smoke? Why are they allowed to smoke inside?" Paul added.

"Um, guys. This is the eighties. It was like the dark ages then. They didn't know about the dangers of smoking. In fact, they thought the sun was good for them, and that they could eat all the white bread they wanted to," Bella pointed out.

"What's wrong with white bread and the sun?" Helen asked.

"White bread, pasta—all that stuff turns to sugar in your bloodstream, causing a spike in blood sugar. Sugar is really bad for you—white bread, soda, candy, all that stuff should be eaten in moderation. Instead, you should focus on whole grains," Jake explained.

"And the sun isn't bad for you, but the UV rays in it are really harmful. It causes premature aging and skin cancer. You always need to wear sunscreen, preferably with a SPF rating of 35 or higher, when you go out," Bella added.

"Tanning beds are okay, though, right?"

"No. Tanning beds are just as harmful. Spray tanning is much safer."

"Spray tanning? What's that?"

"Oh, that's when they spray a chemical called DHA on your body so that it reacts with your skin to make it tan."

"How the hell do you know this, Bella?" Paul asked.

"Duh, cause I used to get spray tans all the time in Arizona. Do you know how ridiculous a pale cheerleader looks?"

"The future seems like a horrible place," Molly said. "No sun and no white bread! The cigarettes I can understand, but not the other stuff." She sighed. "Now, I'm going to have to cancel my appointment at the tanning salon. I don't want to age prematurely!"

"Oh, I agree. I'm going to do the same. Now, let's go shopping."

"Uh, really, we don't need much," Bella commented. "Maybe a pair of jeans or something? In fact, we can just wash mine and make do."

"Don't be ridiculous. Your jeans look out of fashion; the denim isn't even acid washed. Besides, you'll need some skirts, too."

"Skirts? No, I don't do skirts."

"Yes, you do!" her grandmother snapped and grabbed her arm. "Now, you listen to me young lady, I won't have my granddaughter walking around town dressed like some sort of strung out, drug addict!"

"That's right! You tell her, Helen! No Swan should ever be seen in public dressed like her!"

"Drug addict? I've never even touched drugs! Where are you getting drug addict from?"

"Dark, old-fashioned jeans, wrinkled black t-shirt, and that hooded zip-front sweatshirt with grease stains. Oh, I have no idea why you dress that way! Where did your parents go wrong?"

"All the kids dress this way," Bella informed her. "

"And I'm sure they're all on drugs now, too! Oh, I'm so disgusted. I'll be having words with your mother in the future!"

"But…but…I was helping Jake at the junkyard right before we were sent here."

"You work at the junkyard?"

"No, I was just helping Jake. Mr. Hinkley gave us parts for our cars in exchange for loading tires onto a truck."

"Oh, well, that was nice of him. What do you drive?"

"A beat up 1953 truck. My dad gave it to me when I moved back to Forks. It keeps breaking down."

"A 1953 truck? That truck is already thirty-four years old now in 1987! Is Charlie out of his goddamned mind? What a selfish, cheapskate, putting his only daughter into a truck from 1953? I have never been so disappointed in my son in my entire life! Ugh! And that boy drives a brand new Jeep!" She shivered dramatically then asked Bella, "Did you say 'when you moved back to Forks?' Why? Do you move away?"

"Um…"

"Bella!" Paul warned.

"I can't say."

"Fine, I'll figure it out myself," her grandmother replied, narrowing her eyes at them. "Anyway, let's go shopping. Come on, kids. You all need help. From what I heard, Paul here showed up naked." She turned to Bella and Paul and wagged her finger in front of them. "I don't know what kind of hanky panky you two were involved in, but from now on you do it dressed! None of this teen sex business; otherwise, you'll end up knocked up like that nice Sarah Wilde. I know that Billy Black must have been very persuasive because she isn't fast like that Sue Uley girl who became pregnant by that Clearwater boy."

"Of course, the Clearwater boy is another crafty one," Aunt Molly added.

"Oh, yes," Helen agreed. "The boy is a sex maniac."

"That whole family is bad news. The kids are all delinquents—constantly wreaking havoc on the entire reservation."

Jake and Paul were both grinning at this new information that the elders were not as righteous as they made themselves out to be. From what they'd heard so far, the elders were nothing but a bunch of wild teenagers.

Their first stop was at a store named Merry-Go-Round. The moms gathered up a whole slew of trendy clothes and urged the kids into fitting rooms. To Bella's horror, her grandmother and aunt joined her in the room. "Go on. Get undressed so you can try these clothes on."

"May I have some privacy, please?" a nonplussed Bella asked.

"No, we want to see how everything looks," Aunt Molly said. "I don't see what the problem is. I'm your great aunt and this is your grandmother. We'll be changing your diapers in the future because, clearly, Charlie marries someone unqualified to raise you."

Bella groaned as she took her clothes off. Her grandmother gasped at the sight of her naked. "Are you…are you...why are you so skinny? I can see your ribs. Haven't you been eating?"

"Eating? Um…well, I haven't really been hungry." It was the truth. She hadn't been taking good care of herself. She had been depressed about Edward…and…and…and with that, Bella burst into tears. She told her grandmother and aunt all about what happened with Nick, and more recently, with Edward Cullen. She told them about the nightmares and how she couldn't even bring herself to eat and how her father really didn't know what to do with her.

There was urgent knocking on the fitting room door. "Bella? Are you okay?" Paul asked.

"I'm fine. I was just purging my feelings."

"Oh, well, good. Purging your feelings is good. I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks, Paul."

"I'm here for you, too, Bells," Jake added.

"I know. Thanks, Jakey."

"Oh, my poor grandbaby—treated horribly by unsavory boys. Well, it's good to know you have such sweet friends like Paul and Jake. Now, starting tonight, I'm going to fatten you up since it's clear your parents don't take care of you like they should."

Bella did feel better after purging her feelings. She felt free and fabulous. She decided to try on a few new outfits to make her aunt and grandma happy. Of course, it wasn't long before she started protesting. "There is no way that I'm wearing this stuff! I look like a rainbow colored mushroom!"

"Honey, you need some color in your life. You look so drab."

"Can't we check out some other stores?"

"Honey, this is one of the more popular stores for teens."

"Oh, but please? I really don't like any of this stuff."

Her grandmother stared at her in horror. "What kind of apathetic teenager has Charlie raised? What kind of teen doesn't like shopping with her aunty and grandma?"

"I don't think it's Charlie she takes after. It has to be the girl's mother. My nephew is very fashionable."

"Seriously? My dad wears jeans, flannel shirts, and swills beer. Fashionable—he is not."

Bella smirked at the two women who were staring at her in complete and utter shock. She shrugged her shoulders and decided on one outfit, which wasn't too outrageous. Jake and Paul had a couple of outfits each with them.

After Helen and Molly cashed out. They roamed the mall for more clothes. The women insisted the boys shop at a store called Chess King. Bella thought the clothes looked hideous, but the guys were a lot more cooperative than she was. She finally found some clothes she could stand at a department store called The Bon Marche.

Later, they were taken to Kinney Shoes where Bella pitched another fit. "Heels? I can't wear heels! Who the heck wears high heels to school?"

"All the girls do."

"Excuse me? It rains two hundred eleven days on average per year in Forks! That kind of weather calls for practical shoes."

"Oh, yeah? Then why are you wearing Converse? They're made out of cloth and can get soaked through in the rain. How practical are those in Forks, huh? Answer me, girl!" her grandmother demanded.

In the end, Bella was forced to capitulate. She ended up with one pair of heels, a pair of high top aerobic sneakers (because apparently no one wore low cuts in the eighties), and a pair of ankle boots. The boys, also, ended up with three pairs of shoes as well.

They stopped at the mall food court to eat before finally loading up the station wagon with their purchases and heading home.

"Well, that was fun!" Aunt Molly commented when they got back into the station wagon.

"Um, excuse me, ma'am," Paul said.

"Oh, please don't call me, ma'am. It makes me feel old. You're Adam's boy. Call me Aunt Molly."

"Um, Aunt Molly." He turned to Bella's grandmother. "Mrs. Swan."

"Oh, no, no. It's Aunt Helen for you, son. None of this Mrs. Swan business."

"Sorry. I just wanted to thank you for the clothes. No one has ever…I've never had new clothes before," Paul stated.

"Yeah, neither have I. Most of my stuff are hand-me-downs from other tribal members or from the tribal clothing bank," Jake admitted.

"Yeah, me too."

Helen and Molly turned sympathetic eyes on the two boys; meanwhile, Bella burst into tears for the second time in a day.

"What's the matter, Bells?"

"I never realized how lucky and spoiled I was. I've never really been without clothing, food, or shelter. My parents have always provided for me." She turned to her aunt and grandmother. "I'm sorry about throwing my temper tantrum in the mall."

"Oh, honey, you behaved in a perfectly normal way. You should see your father at the mall. He's pickier than hell about his clothes. I'm more concerned about why Jake and Paul have had to do without. They both come from good families. Now, I know what you're going to say about the future being affected. I want to hear why you boys grew up in poverty."

"Helen!" Molly chastised.

"I don't care, Molly. I want to know because they shouldn't be this way. Their families have money. I know for a fact that Gene and Glenda have great jobs with the Forks School District and great retirement plans. They wouldn't let their grandson grow up this way. Then there's the Black Family. They all have good jobs—even Billy Junior makes a hefty sum in the family lumber business. Now, I want to know what happened!"

Paul and Bella kept their mouths shut, but Jake, on the other hand, blurted out, "Paul's dad became an alcoholic after his wife left him and he had no one to help him. Everyone knows Adam Lahote as the tribal drunk. Paul has to fend for himself and I've seen him at the food bank picking up groceries for him and his dad. I've also seen him doing odd jobs around the reservation so that he could earn some money. As for my family, there is no family lumber business because most of the industry goes bust because of tree hugging, conservationists! My dad is wheelchair bound due to complications from diabetes. He never listened to my mom when she was alive about watching what he ate, and I have to do everything for him because my sisters abandoned us!"

"Oh, great, Jake! Thanks a lot! Now, we're probably not even going to be born!" Paul commented.

"That's not all! Bella's dad ignores her and so does her mom. Sure they make sure she has the basics, but they don't pay attention to her. I mean she moved back to Forks last year so her mom could travel with her new husband. And Charlie? Well, all he does is work, fish, and drink beer. The last two he does with my dad. So don't listen to her BS about her being spoiled because she's not! She works thirty hours a week at Newton's and goes to school!"

"Thirty hours a week in high school? That's ridiculous! Why do you need to work so hard?"

"Well, I want to go to college. I'm hoping to eventually be able to go somewhere inCaliforniato study."

"Aren't your parents going to help you pay for it?"

"I'm not sure. It…it has never really come up."

"Why that little turd son of mine! I swear when I get my hands on that brat! Ugh! He makes me so angry sometimes!"

"I'm sorry. I have to ask. Is Quil…is my grandson okay?"

"Oh, yeah, he's fine. In fact, he's probably the most fine out of all of us," Jake replied.

"Well, that's reassuring," Molly said.

Of course, Jake didn't have the heart to tell her that she wouldn't survive to see her grandson because she would be dying in a car accident soon.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

By the time the group returned to La Push, it was already ten pm. As soon as they pulled into the Ateara driveway, the three elders, Old Quil, and an unknown man in his thirties worriedly came out to greet them.

The unknown man was the first to speak. "Where the hell have you been? We've been worried sick about you! No note, no phone call, plus a sign up at the salon stating that you were closed due to a family emergency. What the hell is going on, Helen, and who the hell is the girl who looks like my mother?"

"Oh, Geoffrey, you aren't going to believe this."

"What? What is it?" he questioned worriedly, wrapping his arms around his wife.

"Our Charlie is going to become an unfit father!"

"Unfit father? What? Did he knock someone up?"

"No, not yet, but when he does…oh…our poor grandbaby Bella has to work thirty hours a week, slaving away for the Newtons!"

"Christ, Molly! Couldn't you keep your big trap shut for once?" Old Quil asked.

"She overheard me. What was I supposed to do?"

"What is going on here?" Geoff Swan asked with his teeth clenched. He hated being in the dark and the girl who was with them was definitely family—she had his eyes.

"Alright, everyone in the house now. We need to explain things to Geoff," Ephraim stated.

"Where are Quil and Charlie?" Molly asked when they sat down.

"They're sleeping over at the Lahote' 're fine."

"Oh, good."

"Will someone please tell me what is going on?" Geoff repeated.

Ephraim Black relieved him from his curiosity by explaining everything that had happened in the last day.

"So, you're telling me that this is Bill's grandson, Gene's grandson, and my granddaughter from the future?"

"Yes."

"What the hell kind of wolf pack mumbo jumbo did you get my granddaughter into, Ephraim? I thought only pack members were supposed to know about all of this supernatural stuff!"

"May I just interject here and say that it is a bad law," Bella interjected. "Exceptions need to be made. For example, I wouldn't have gotten involved with a vampire had someone thought to previously warn me."

"What the hell were you doing messing around with a vampire? You are grounded! Do you hear me, young lady? You are grounded!"

"Gee, nice to meet you, too, Grandpa," Bella replied.

"Geoff, do you have to be so hard on her? All teenagers make mistakes."

"Dating a vampire is a big mistake, Helen!"

"I'd say it is," Paul agreed.

"You're not helping," Bella hissed.

"I want to know why Geoff knows about the existence of the wolf pack," Levi said.

"I might have heard stories about the legends here and there."

"Enough! Everyone sit down!" Quil the Wolf commanded. "Gee whiz! Can all of you think about the situation at hand instead of punishing errant teenagers? We need to get these kids back to the future, and to do that, we need to figure out why they were sent here."

"Didn't someone tell them why they were being sent back in time?" Geoff asked.

"That's the problem. No one told us anything. We were just kind of thrown together," Paul stated.

"Tell us how you all came to be together again from the beginning. We've only seen Paul's version from his mind," Ephraim commanded. "Jacob, why don't you start."

"Well, Bella and I went to Old Mr. Hinkley's junkyard to load scrap tires onto a truck for him. In exchange, he said that we could have any part we wanted for my car and for Bella's truck."

At this point, Helen interjected and said, "Can you believe it? Charlie bought her some truck from 1953. Apparently, it keeps breaking down."

"It does." Bella nodded her head in agreement. "It's awful, but he bought it off of Jake's dad so I don't want to hurt his feelings."

"Wait a minute! Do you drive a red, 1953 Chevy?" Ephraim asked.

"Yes, I do."

"It's a piece of shit. Sell it for scrap. It was my old truck. I stopped driving it about twenty years ago because it kept breaking down. That thing is a road hazard."

"Yes, sir."

"Now, keep going with your story, Jacob."

"Sure, sure. We loaded up the tires—over three hundred of them—and then we headed to my house to install the fuel pump into my Rabbit. The hood strut broke so I grabbed the stick that Quil…" Seeing the two other Quils in the room, he decided to be more specific. "I grabbed the stick that Quil the Fifth was supposed to bring back to his grandpa, but left behind, to prop the hood up. That was when Bella told me that I couldn't use it because it was Old Quil's stick and probably important. The two of us got into an argument: Bella tried to take the stick away and I insisted on keeping it so it could prop up the hood. We both had our hands on the stick. There was a heavy gust of wind, the garage doors blew open, and we were suddenly pulled into a twister. We landed on the forest floor, Rabbit, stick, and all. It was then we discovered that Paul was in the backseat of my car."

Ephraim Black reached up and swiftly slapped his grandson on the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" Jake cried, rubbing his arm.

"The shaman stick is an artifact from Taha Aki's time. It is not to be used for propping up hoods. Why is it that Isabella recognized its importance and you—my great-grandson—did not?"

"Yeah, but you didn't have to hit me. That hurt!"

"That was the point! Hopefully, next time, you will remember not to disrespect tribal artifacts."

"Yes, sir," Jacob replied then turned to Bella who had a smug expression on her face. "Don't say it!"

"I wasn't going to say a thing." She grinned at him.

"Alright, so you discovered Paul and then what?" Ephraim asked.

"Well, Bella and Paul got into an argument about his dick."

"Jake, I don't like that word!"

"Well, tough! I'm sick of the two of you arguing about it."

"Wait a second! What the hell were you doing playing with his penis, young lady?" Bella's grandfather asked.

"I wasn't playing with it! Why would I play with his…his toggle?"

"Bella, it's a penis! Just say the goddamned word! P-E-N-I-S! PENIS!" Paul emphasized.

She simply glared at him in response.

Jacob, on the other hand, clarified things for everyone. "Bella wasn't playing with his penis. She and I were trying to figure out why he was naked in my car. It turned out that some chick's father was shooting at him so he hid in the backseat of my car and fell asleep. He woke up because of the twister and all."

"Do you frequently spend the night at your girlfriend's house?" Old Quil asked.

"Oh, she wasn't my girlfriend. She was just some girl with a warm bed. I can't really go home on most nights. My dad's a drunk and he…well, I just can't go home."

All the adults stared at Paul in horror and with sympathy at how casually he discussed his situation. Ephraim Black, particularly, was disappointed at how the tribe was handling Paul's situation. In cases like these, another family should have taken the boy in—especially because he was a wolf. In fact, the responsibility would fall to an elder's family. He couldn't understand how lackadaisical tribal management had apparently become. He made a mental note to discuss this situation later with the other elders.

"Alright, so then what happened?" Ephraim asked.

"We walked forever before ending up at the Cullen house. Bella knew a way in. She showed us a framed painting of the vampire royalty as we toured the house, which looked completely different from how she remembered it," Paul noted. "Anyway, when we saw the painting, we decided to come clean about what we knew of wolves and vampires. After we locked the house up, we decided to head to Sam Uley's house. Instead, we ran into my grandfather and my father. As soon as I recognized them, I got everyone away from there. We ran from the house and came here instead. We figured Old Quil would have the answers, but we found something better."

"And what was that?"

"You guys. You know—the previous pack. I figured you guys would know a lot more than Old Quil. You have live experience with the pack and with the Cullens. Our current elders are all idiots. No offense meant, Mr. Old Quil," Paul stated. "None of them really know about running a pack so they leave it all to Sam—our current alpha. He's just as confused. I mean he's only in his early twenties and the guy isn't too bright. Anyway, we were taught that Bella was pretty much our enemy because she dated Edward and that it was her fault that there was even a pack. I knew better, though, the Cullens were there a full year before she even arrived in Forks."

"Hmm…so I'm guessing that the reason the kids were sent back have to do with vampires," Quil the Wolf concluded.

"Why do you say that?"

"Think about it. Bella was stupid enough to become involved with a vampire so she has prior knowledge of their existence. Somehow, she knows how to get inside the Cullen house. She shows Jake and Paul an oil painting of vampire royalty. We didn't even know that vampire royalty existed." The elders all nodded their heads in the agreement. "Every single thing which has happened to the kids is a clue. There has to be a reason why the first house they ran into happened to be the Cullens and the second was Gene Lahote's. And these three kids had to have been brought together for a reason. Everything had to have been aligned correctly for the spirits to send these kids here to our time."

"So, what you're saying is that we don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason," Bella surmised wisely.

"You are a very perceptive young lady. That's exactly what I'm saying. What I think we need to do now is…"

The front door abruptly opened and a man ordered, "Get in the house! All three of you. Now!"

"Gene, what's going on?" a concerned Geoff Swan asked.

Gene Lahote had just herded Adam, Charlie, and Quil the Fourth. He had a furious expression on his face as he explained the circumstances, "I went to check on the boys and they weren't in Adam's room. I found the three of them drinking over by the abandoned Cullen house with those degenerates Billy Black, Harry Clearwater, and Josh Uley."

Geoff Swan approached his son. "Well? Speak! Or have you lost the ability all of a sudden."

Charlie caught sight of Bella. "Hey, what are you doing here? Couldn't stay away from me, could you, babe? Do you wanna hook up?"

"Gross," Bella simply said. Jake and Paul each stood protectively in front of her.

"Hey, assholes, you're blocking the pretty view."

"Watch your language, boy!" Geoff chastised.

"Alright. Hey, sphincters, you're blocking the pretty view," Charlie corrected.

"Do you even realize how ridiculous you sound?" Paul asked.

Adam Lahote laughed. "Hey, nerd boy. No one like talks all proper like that. Where are you from? Mars or something?"

 _Nerd boy?_ Paul had been called many things before, but never that. Nerd boy was practically a compliment as far as he was concerned. "Maybe you should focus on learning to speak properly? Perhaps focusing more on school so you can actually become a respectable…Ow! What the hell was that for?" he asked Bella who had just elbowed him in the ribs.

"Those guys are too immature to keep a secret," she warned in a whisper. "Besides, if you tell them the truth, you'd be screwing with the future too much."

"Oh, yeah."

"He's like Mr. Proper." Quil the Fourth snorted. "What? Are you too uptight to be cool?"

"No, he's just not an ass like you are!" Bella replied.

"Ooh, the beauty queen speaks. Hey, if you don't like Charlie, why don't you slum it with me?"

"She's got standards, you little twerp!" Jake argued. He had stayed silent until that moment, and had let his indignation build inside of him. He was shaking and his face was contorting into an angry ball.

"Ooh, tough boy, aren't you?"

"Why you little piece of shit!" Jake lashed out at Quil the Fourth. He stepped forward to hit him, but Bella had a firm hold on his hand.

"Let go of me!" Jake yelled at Bella.

"Discipline your children instead of standing around watching in shock!" Quil the Wolf chastised all the adults. "Look at how disrespectful they are compared to our visitors!"

"Oh, shit," Paul whispered in Bella's ear. "Jake is going to phase soon." He was turning red in the face and his body tremors had gotten severe. All the while, Bella had a hold on him. It seemed to be keeping him calm.

"Now?"

Paul nodded to her in reply.

"What do we do?"

"Bella, stay here, okay? I'll be back. I promise." He whispered in Jake's ear before tugging him towards him. "I've got you, buddy. I won't leave your side."

"Stay!" Levi Uley ordered Bella firmly before he assisted Paul with Jacob.

She looked up to see the concerned expressions of the three elders. Quil the Wolf whispered something to Old Quil who quickly took control of the situation with the three drunk boys. They were sent upstairs straight to bed with the promise that some heads were going to roll tomorrow. Meanwhile, Paul and the other two elders practically shoved Jake out of the door. Bella went running after them despite protests from her grandfather.

"Bella? Bella? Goddamnit! These woods aren't safe!" Geoff Swan yelled. He had just met his granddaughter and he sure as hell wasn't going to lose her now.

"Did you find her?" Gene Lahote asked. "Who is she?"

"No, and what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here."

"Who is that girl anyway…wait, there she is!"

Geoff and Gene went sprinting to the clearing where Bella was standing by a tree.

"Oh my God! What's wrong with him?" Bella asked.

"What are you three doing here?" Levi Uley shouted.

"What's going on? Jacob?" He was thrashing and struggling while the elders tried to get a hold of him. "Are you okay?"

"Bella, get out of here! It's not safe!" Paul yelled.

"No, I'm not leaving!"

"Why the hell do you have to be so goddamned stubborn?"

"Let go of me!" Jake hollered as he punched Ephraim Black in the stomach.

"Bella!" Geoff Swan put his strong arms around his granddaughter and attempted to pull her away from the clearing, but she was fighting him with everything she had in her. "Come away from there now, young lady!"

She was still in her grandfather's hold when Jacob suddenly let out a howl in agony. He twisted his body into an odd shape and suddenly phased into an enormous, chocolate brown wolf. At the same time, Paul and the elders also phased into their wolf forms.

"Gadzooks! Did you see that?" Gene Lahote asked. "The legends I told you about when we were boys are true then?"

"No shit, Sherlock!" Geoff replied still keeping a firm hold on a struggling Bella. "Ouch!" he cried as she stomped on his foot and got loose. She ran straight for the wolves.

Paul phased back into human form. "Seriously, Bella? Get back to where your grandfather is!"

"No, I want to help."

"You can't help. We have to keep him calm. Jake is very volatile now."

"I don't understand."

Paul sighed. "Alright, when we first turn into wolves, our minds and bodies are scrambled because we're still trying to get used to our new situation. To make matters worse, usually it's anger that makes us phase. Jake became angry—that's why he phased." He cupped Bella's chin with one hand. "Now, go back to your grandfather. It's for your own safety." She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm serious. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt so, please, just go. Do it for me?"

"Fine," she muttered. Just as she was about to turn back, Wolf Jake thudded straight to her. She turned to him with a big smile on her face. He stopped abruptly in front of her. "Hey, Jakey. You know, you're a really pretty wolf. Your fur is the same color as my hair." He got down on his haunches in front of her, allowing her to wrap her arms around him and give him a big hug and stroke his fur. "I'm here for you, Jake. You'll always be my best friend."

A minute later, he phased back to human form. "Is my fur really the same color as your hair?" Jake asked.

"Yep, it is." She nodded her head. "What was it like being a wolf?"

"It was weird. All of a sudden everyone was reading my thoughts and I could read them as well. By the way, I read Paul's memories, and I'm positive that Embry Call wants to do a whole slew of sexual things to you. He read them in Embry's brain and shared them with me. We should keep an eye on him when we get back. I didn't think he was capable of coming up with stuff like that—I mean it was kinky stuff!"

"Oh, ew!"

The elders returned to human form as well. Levi Uley stared down at Bella. "What part of 'stay' did you not understand, young lady?"

"Um…"

"Um, is right. You know that you deliberately ignored my command."

"Well, I had to make sure Jake was okay!" Bella protested. "He's my best friend!"

By this time, her grandfather was by her side as well. "Listen to me, young lady. When you're told to stay put for your safety, you do exactly as you're told! I am serious when I say these woods are dangerous."

"Oh, I know! Once, there were three rogue vampires—a Rastafarian named Laurent, a psychotic redhead named Victoria, and a wacko named James—roaming these woods. Anyway, they were killing off humans in Forks. One of them, James, thought it would be a game to find me. Anyway, he played his own version of 'Capture the Flag' but it was more like 'Capture the Human.' I had to run away to Arizona to get away from him, but he found me and he bit me here." She showed everyone her wrist. "Luckily, the Cullens saved me. They sucked out the venom and killed the bad vampire. Otherwise, I would have been a vampire. Unfortunately, Laurent and Victoria are still around somewhere."

Geoffrey Swan stared at his granddaughter with a bewildered expression on his face. Why had she been allowed to run wild with vampires? Why hadn't Charlie supervised her? He thought about Charlie's state this evening and the sheer disrespect displayed by the boy and his friends. He wondered how he was even able to produce a child!

Gene Lahote finally lost his patience. It appeared no one was planning to tell him what was going on, yet bewildering events were happening right in front of his eyes. He knew it had something to do with the three strange teenagers. He felt he had the right to know the truth. For Christ's sake, he just ran over a mile to follow some strange girl who seemed to be very important to his buddy Geoff. "Alright, someone better tell me what the hell is going on! Who are these children? Why did they show up in my living room last night? That boy," he pointed to Paul, "was naked. I thought they were Makah kids, running around all wild and loose; but then again, there was the odd Hok'wat girl with them. They asked for Sam Uley. Isn't that the newborn Uley boy?"

"It's a long story, but I think you need to know. It all started last night when these kids showed up on Quil's doorstep."

And so Levi Uley explained the entire story to Gene Lahote, including the history of the three kids and their journey to La Push from the future. Then he introduced the kids to him formally, leaving Paul for last, and Gene broke down in tears at the thought of the miserable childhood his grandson had experienced and he wondered how things got so out of control for his own son.

"Bella, what the heck am I supposed to do?" Paul whispered. "Should I comfort him or something?"

"I'm so sorry!" Gene cried. The man had tears streaming down his face as he pulled Paul into his arms and held him.

"Um, I don't know what you have to be sorry about. Shit happened. My dad lost control. Anyway, my life won't be so crappy when I get back. I've got friends now—real friends—not fake ones from the pack. Well, except for Jacob. I think he's got my back and so does Bella. She even said I could stay at her house instead of at mine."

"You can." Bella nodded her head. "I'd welcome the company. I'm alone at home most of the day when I'm not at school or working. Dad is always in La Push at Billy's house. Jake even hangs out with me at my house on most days." She suddenly had an epiphany. "Hey, do you want a job?"

"Sure, where?"

"Well, Mr. Newton is looking to hire more people. You can work with me. I'll put in a good word for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He pays 3 bucks above minimum wage and he's really flexible with hours and stuff."

"Awesome."

"Hey, Bella. How many people does he want to hire?" Jake asked.

"A few, why?"

"Duh, if the three of us worked together, we'd be able to afford an apartment. I'm sick of taking care of my dad! I really am. I've been doing it since I was twelve years old because my sisters are both selfish bitches! Even when they come home for a visit, they don't lift a finger. And it's not like my dad is an invalid. He somehow has the strength to go fishing with your dad, but for some reason can't cook dinner or help clean the house or anything. It pisses me off!"

"The next time I see them, I'll tell them all off for you—those ingrates! I think the apartment is an awesome goal for us!" Bella said.

"Not bad, Jake. That's a great idea. I can get away from my dad and so can you," Paul agreed.

"Ahem! Before the three of you can make plans for the future, we have to get you back there first," Ephraim Black stated. "Although I'm not so sure I want to send you back to your dismal lives at this point." He sighed. "I suppose we must, though."

"It's late. I say we call it a night so we can think with a fresh mind tomorrow," Geoff suggested. He took his granddaughter's hand. "Come on, honey. Say goodnight to your friends."

"Hang on there, son. Bella can't stay with you."

"Why not? She's my grandbaby, which makes her my responsibility!"

"I agree with Geoff. I was going to take Paul home with me, too," Gene piped in supporting his friend.

Ephraim turned to both men. "Hey, if I had my way, I'd take Jacob home with me, too. Unfortunately, there are many factors we need to take into consideration—first and foremost being the fact that these kids have not, in fact, been born yet. We do not want to jeopardize their existence. It's bad enough that two of them have been exposed to their fathers already. What if Bella and Paul are never born as a result of that?"

"Well, where are they supposed to sleep then?"

"They will continue to sleep in the hunting cabin until we figure out why they are here."

"In Elder Quil's hunting cabin?" Geoff and Gene both questioned, appalled.

"They'll be perfectly fine. It has to be this way. We will deal with all of this tomorrow." The alpha looked pointedly at Geoff Swan. "Jake and Paul can protect Bella. They're wolves and they're strong. She will be fine."

Ephraim Black drove the three teens back to the cabin himself lest the two worried grandfathers decided to defy orders. He gave explicit instructions to Paul that he was in charge, and that he was to howl if anything went wrong. After that, he headed back to have a talk with his grandson Billy. He couldn't condone him offering alcohol to minors or to anyone for that matter. He planned on putting a stop to that nonsense immediately.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

After the teens were dropped off at the cabin, they quickly nodded off to sleep. Bella, again, had a nightmare in the middle of the night, but this time, it was less pronounced. Paul slipped into bed to hold her as soon as it began—it made him feel better, too, and the pair had the best rest they'd had in ages.

Bella opened her eyes in the morning as the bright morning sun filtered in through the window. She was about to hop out of bed when she realized that Paul had his arms firmly around her. She shifted her body so she was facing him. He opened his eyes and greeted, "Hey."

"Hey, yourself. Why are you in my bed?"

"You had a nightmare."

"I'm not surprised. I get them often."

"Well, you seem to calm down when I hold you. I did the same thing the night before, too. Is it okay? I mean is it okay that I held you last night?"

Okay? It was more than okay with Bella. She liked Paul. She really liked him, and the fact that he cared about her enough to make sure she didn't have any nightmares made him a stand-up guy, one whom she could really care about.

"It's fine. I…I actually don't mind at all. I mean if it's okay with you that is," she said nervously.

"It's more than okay." Paul trailed one finger softly down her cheek then smiled. He was about to kiss her when knocking on the front door stopped him in his tracks.

"Hello! Yoohoo!" an unfamiliar woman's voice called as she knocked. "Hello!"

Paul got out of bed to answer the door with Bella following close behind. They passed Jacob on the way to the door; neither of them could understand how he could sleep through the noise.

"Hello! Good morning!" the woman's voice continued to call.

Paul finally opened the door. "Um, may I help you?"

The woman, a tall Native American, with jet-black hair and a wide smile, put her arms around Paul as soon as he opened the door. "My grandbaby! Oh! Your grandfather told me all about you. She cupped his face with her hands. "Oh, look at you! You are so gorgeous!" She turned to Bella. "You must be Charlie's daughter. My goodness, you are so beautiful." She craned her neck around the cabin. "Is that Billy Junior's son?"

"Uh, yes," Paul replied.

"Oh, so handsome. He takes after his mom. Sarah is beautiful. Okay, so if you kids will help me bring the groceries in, I'll get started on breakfast." She grinned. "There's nothing like a nice, wholesome meal to start the day off with."

The two teens quickly loaded the groceries into the house. "Geez! What's with all the paper bags without handles?" Paul asked Bella. "This is so inconvenient!"

"I know, right? She could have at least done paper in plastic so it's easier to carry."

"Okay, now you kids sit down while I cook a nice, hearty meal for you." She turned to Bella. "Honey, I'll do your hair for you. It looks flat. You can't go out looking like that. I'm surprised you didn't have Molly perm it for you." She shook her head. "You know what? I'll just give you a home perm this afternoon."

"No!" Bella and Paul both yelled.

"What's wrong with the two of you? Why are you so antsy?"

"Glenda, what did you say to the kids to make them so frazzled?" Molly Ateara walked into the cabin together with Helen. They were carrying groceries as well.

"I only offered to perm your niece's hair. It's so flat looking."

"First of all, a home perm, Glenda? She is the granddaughter and niece of professional hairstylists. Besides, she can't perm her hair. She has the lead role in Grease. She's playing Sandy."

"How can she be playing Sandy? Sandy is blonde."

"Um, the boy who is playing Danny is blond so they had to um…make Sandy a brunette," Bella lied. "Oh, God. I'm going to hell," she whispered to Paul.

"She is beautiful, but I would have forced her to bleach her hair blonde for the role. And just who is playing Danny?"

"Um, Mike Newton." It was the first name, which popped into her head.

"Why would they give the lead to a Newton? Ugh! What is this town coming to? At least the role wasn't given to a female Newton—there hasn't been a nice one in the lot of them at least since my grandmother's time."

"Enough." Helen Swan stated. "Glenda, what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? I'm here cooking breakfast for my grandbaby and his friends. What are you doing here?"

"I was going to cook breakfast for them."

"Really, there's no need. I can cook my own breakfast. I've been doing it since I was eight," Bella said.

"Pardon me?" her grandmother asked. "Did you say you've been cooking your own breakfast since you were eight years old?"

"Yes, my parents can't cook to save their lives. I had to learn how to cook in order to survive."

"Is that bacon I smell?" Jake asked as he finally woke up. "Man, I'm starved."

"Oh, look at you. You handsome boy!"

"Who are you?" Jake asked the strange woman who was hugging him and brushing his hair back out of his face.

"I'm Glenda Lahote—Paul's grandmother. And you are Jacob Black!"

"Oh, nice to meet you." He noticed Helen and Molly just then. "Good morning," he greeted, giving a kiss to each woman on her cheek.

"Oh, such a polite young man."

"Okay, you kids get ready while we get breakfast ready for you." Molly tossed the keys to Jake. "We have your new clothes in the station wagon. Go and get them."

The kids quickly did as they were asked. Bella changed in the bathroom while Jake and Paul went into the bedroom.

"Dude, what's with this underwear?" Jake asked. "They're like old man boxers!"

"I know, right. How the heck is this supposed to keep my junk inside? I need boxer briefs."

"Yeah, and I don't like this paisley design even if they're Calvin Klein. Man, they're ugly!"

"The 80's are so weird." Paul shrugged on his pants. "Alright, how do I look?"

"Dude, you're wearing high-waisted pleated polyester pants, suspenders, a t-shirt that says 'Relax' on it, and your hair is bleached blond. How the hell do you think you look?"

"Speak for yourself! You have a goddamned perm!"

"I was going for the head-banger look."

"Whatever. This is so messed up."

"I know. I mean I'm a wolf and my dad doesn't even know about it."

"Yeah, we're going to have to figure out a way to explain it when we get back—if we get back." He patted Jake on the shoulder. "Come on, buddy. Let's get out there and grab some grub."

Around the time the kids were finishing up their meals, the elders showed up together with Geoff Swan, Gene Lahote, and Old Quil.

Upon seeing Glenda, Old Quil turned to Gene, "You told her?"

"Of course I did. She'd become suspicious if I didn't tell her. Why?"

"Because this has to remain a secret. If the boys were ever to find out, our grandkids may never be born and they have to be born. Think about how much more mature and sensible these kids are compared to our own."

"I know that! I'm not going to tell Adam, don't worry." He turned to Paul. "How are you this morning, my boy? You're looking dapper."

"Thanks."

"Dapper? Is that all you can say? My grandson is absolutely gorgeous!" Glenda gushed, fussing with his hair. "Why did you let Molly bleach your beautiful hair?"

"Uh, I need to be incognito, remember?" Paul put his fingers to his lips.

"Oh, that's right, dear. Mum's the word." She nodded.

"Speaking of incognito, is the curling iron ready for Bella?" Helen asked Molly.

"Yes, it's ready to go."

"Come with me, dear, we have to do your hair."

"You…you…you're going to apply direct heat to my hair? What if it frizzes? Oh my God!" Bella complained.

"I swear; you have got to be the fussiest girl. Why are you so concerned about your hair?"

"Are you kidding me? It's my one redeeming feature! At least use thermal protection spray before you attack my hair."

"What is thermal protection spray?" her grandmother asked.

"It's a spray that you use so your hair doesn't get damaged by the excessive heat styling tools."

"Really? Interesting. Is it like a mousse?"

"Oh my God! Please tell me they've invented thermal protection spray?"

Helen and Molly both shook their heads.

"We don't even know what's in it."

"It's a spray, which has all kinds of good stuff like protein and keratin so my hair doesn't turn into a dry, flyaway, frizzy mess. Hair, of course, is made mostly out of keratinized proteins."

The women continued to ask all sorts of questions about hair care in the future while they worked on Bella's hair. She told them about sulfate free shampoo and how much better it was for hair; she told them about flat irons and how some women used them to get their hair straight; and she told them about how frosted hair was a thing of the past and that ombre and balayage were the way to go with hair coloring. She also explained that most women preferred healthy hair to over-processed hair as a result of the hair nightmare era that was the 1980's.

"Oh, and also, we try not to wash our hair every day. Instead, we use dry shampoo in between washes so our scalp doesn't get oily. It comes out of an aerosol can, and it has some sort of powder in it to absorb the oil, which we rub into our scalp and voila—our hair looks as good as new." Bella did some more thinking. "One more thing, the nicer salons all offer beverages to the customer and have free WI-FI, too."

"What is Wi-Fi?"

"Wireless internet connection."

"What's that?"

"Uh, Jake?"

"Yeah, Bells?"

"Can you explain the internet to them? Because you know how I suck at science and technology and stuff."

"Sure, sure."

Everyone listened intently while Jake explained all the technological wonders of the 21st century. Meanwhile, Helen held a hand mirror out in front of her granddaughter to show her her hairdo for the day.

Bella let out an ear-piercing shriek upon seeing her reflection.

"Bella?" Paul rushed to her side worriedly.

With tears streaming in her eyes she cried, "My poor hair. Look at me!" Her hair had been teased, crimped, and scrunched to the hilt.

Paul reached out and touched a strand of her hair. For lack of better terminology, it felt crunchy. "Ew! Why does your hair feel like sticks?"

Helen slapped his arm lightly. "It does not. It's just a little Aqua Net. How else were we supposed to keep her hairstyle together?"

Paul kneeled down so he was eye level with Bella. "It doesn't look so bad and it's only temporary."

"I know, but that curling iron isn't even made from tourmaline. I could hear my hair sizzling as she curled my hair," she sniffed.

"Tourmaline curling irons?" Helen asked with interest.

"Yes, they don't damage the hair as much. I think tourmaline is a type of mineral."

"Did you get that Molly?"

"Yes, but I need her to spell tourmaline."

"T-O-U-R-M-A-L-I-N-E."

"Got it. I'm adding it all to the notes."

"Why in bleeding hell are you taking notes?" Old Quil asked.

"Because dear, our niece has information that will help us to revolutionize the hair industry." Molly handed Bella a tissue. "Now, wipe your tears, honey. Your puffy eyes aren't doing you any favors, and we have to do your makeup next."

"I'm sorry. I'm not usually this weepy. It's just…it's just… Am I ever going to get home?"

Old Quil walked over and put a reassuring hand on Bella's shoulder. "That's what we're going to figure out." He pointed to Quil the Wolf. "My father is the best shaman the Quileutes have ever had. If anyone can figure it out, he can."

"And I will figure it out, young lady. Just as soon as I figure out why you were sent here," Quil the Wolf stated. "And for that, I'm going to need your complete history—not just yours, but Jake's and Paul's as well. I especially want to hear about the Cullens and your interactions with them again."

The elders went over the histories of the kids and the story of the Cullens over and over again with a fine-toothed comb. Everyone was convinced that this had something to do with the vampire coven.

"Why these kids specifically?" Ephraim asked. "I simply don't understand."

"I know what you're saying, Eph. It just doesn't make sense. I would think that my own great-grandson would be the first choice to send back here."

"No, he wouldn't," Paul said. "Quil was the furthest from phasing when we left. He was just starting to exhibit signs of the change. Embry had just transformed for the first time a couple of weeks ago and the elders were all going nuts trying to figure out why."

"Whose son is Embry?"

"Oh, we don't know who his father is. He's half Makah."

"We have a half Makah wolf?"

"Yeah, his mom Tiffany Call, is one of the nicest ladies you'll ever meet. Anyway, Embry phased all of a sudden and he has no idea who his father is. It could be one of five men: Quil Ateara the Fourth, Billy Black, Harry Clearwater, Adam Lahote, or Josh Uley. Everyone is betting on Josh Uley."

"What you're saying is that there are five possible fathers, and not one is owning up to it?"

"Well, Billy Black and Harry Clearwater swear to Taha Aki that they've never cheated on their wives."

"And you believe them?" Glenda Lahote asked.

"Well, they are the only elders who are half there. My dad isn't an elder. He's too drunk. The other two aren't even around."

"Why? Where are they?" Molly asked.

Paul didn't want to answer her. He didn't want to tell her that her son was no longer living in his time. He didn't want to tell her that she was no longer around either.

He looked to Jacob for help. He came through by saying, "We can't tell you because it would affect the future."

Molly nodded her head in response, but he detected a tinge of sadness in her eyes. He felt totally guilty, but what was he to do?

"Enough. Jacob is correct. We must avoid discussing the future as much as possible," Ephraim declared. "Otherwise, these kids may not even exist in the future."

That did it. Everyone sat down to consider a severely altered future, including the possibility of the total elimination of the existence of Bella, Jake, and Paul.

"Well, now that that's understood. I think we need to ensure that these kids are no longer exposed to their parents. It is of utmost importance that we make sure that they have…"

And it was at that moment, and not a moment later, the front door opened. Charlie Swan, Quil Ateara the Fourth, and Adam Lahote walked into the house.

"Crap," Charlie gasped.

"Dad, Mom—what are you doing here?" Adam asked.

"It doesn't matter what we're doing here. What are the three of you doing here? I thought we agreed you were all grounded after last night's stunt?" Gene replied.

"Uh…about that…we…" Adam noticed Bella, Jake, and Paul, and decided to change the subject. "Who are they?"

"Who?"

"Them?"

"Who?" Gene shifted nervously on his feet as he tried to formulate a response.

"Those kids? Who are they? Why are they here?"

"Yeah! This is the third time we've run into them. Who are they?" Charlie asked.

"Oh, them!" Geoff replied, laughing uncomfortably. "Um…" He looked around the room for assistance.

Quil the Wolf came to the rescue. "Oh, these kids. They're exchange students."

"Exchange students?" Quil the Fourth asked.

"Yes, exchange students. They are from another reservation and will be spending some time with us."

"From another reservation? Even the Hok'wat girl?"

"Yes, and what's wrong with being Hok'wat? You're half Hok'wat yourself."

"True, but that girl is as white as Charlie is. Are you sure she's Native American?"

"Of course, she is. She's from the…the… She's from Arizona."

"What Nation?" Adam asked.

Bella cleared her throat. "The Wa-Ya Nation."

"Wa-Ya? Is that even a real nation?"

"Of course it is! I find it insulting that you haven't heard of us!" Paul stated, all the while thinking he was going to hell.

The three boys shrugged their shoulders.

"So, what's your name?" Adam asked.

"My name?"

"Yeah, you have a name, don't you?"

Gene Lahote came to the rescue, or maybe he didn't, "That's just…just…that's it…Justin. Yes, that's Justin."

"Justin what?"

"Bieber," Bella squeaked.

"Justin Bieber?" Paul and Adam asked at the same time while Jake pointed at Paul and guffawed.

"What kind of Native American name is Justin Bieber?"

"It's not Bieber, it's Beaver—like the animal. Our tribe places a great importance on animal names," Jake said.

"Yes, it's definitely Justin Beaver," Bella confirmed.

Paul fixed her with an angry glare before replying, "Gee, thanks, Miley Cyrus." He wagged his eyebrows at her.

Bella's face turned into a scowl. "Excuse me? Did you…"

Paul rushed over to her side to shut her up, and pulled her to a far corner out of earshot from everyone.

"Justin Beaver and Miley Cyrus? What the hell kind of Native American names are those?"

"Yep, those are their names. Oh, and Miley is spelled M-A-I-L-E. She's named after a Hawaiian plant species. Uh, the Wa-Ya also places great importance in all things to do with nature," Jacob stated, and then before Bella and Paul could give him a screwed up name, he held his hand out to the three boys, "I'm Jack Sparrow." He figured that his favorite movie was Pirates of the Caribbean so he might as well name himself after the lead character.

Off to the side, Paul and Bella were arguing. "Why the hell did you give me that weird name?"

"After, your grandfather named you Justin, Bieber just popped into my head. I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry? Sorry doesn't cut it, Bella."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Well, shit for brains, you named me Miley Cyrus."

"That's cause you deserved it for naming me after a douche bag!"

"At least I didn't name you Kanye West, asshole!"

"At least I didn't name you after his wife!"

Levi Uley approached the pair. "Are you two done? Pull it together! You're drawing attention to yourselves!"

Both kids, in a dramatic move, folded their arms in front of their chests, looked away from each other, and humphed. Meanwhile, Jake was doing his best to charm Adam, Charlie, and Quil.

"So, if you guys are exchange students, will you be coming to school on Monday?" Charlie asked.

Jake's eyes widened, he had no idea how to answer that. He turned to the adults for help.

"School, school, yes, of course. The kids will be coming to school. This is why I arranged the exchange program," Gene Lahote stated.

"So what grade are you in?" Charlie asked Jake.

"Uh…we're all seniors. You have to be a senior to qualify for the program."

"Damn it! Does that mean that we can't go on the exchange?" Adam asked.

"Not until next year, son. Besides, this is a pilot program. We're not sure if it'll continue. There are no Quileutes going on this program, only Wa-Ya."

"Why? That doesn't seem fair."

"Uh, they were higher up on the…the lottery. Yes, there was a lottery and their tribe got first dibs."

The elders and parents all stared at Gene Lahote who was the only one coming up with a semi-plausible reason for the appearance of the three kids from the future.

"It's like totally not fair, you know?" Charlie stated. "Like how come the reservation gets to have an exchange program and we don't? I don't get to go on one either way. At least you dudes have a chance to get out of this hell hole."

"Forks is not a hell hole," Jacob protested. "There aretons of things to do like hiking, hunting, fishing, canoeing."

Bella disagreed with Jacob, but she didn't say anything, she thought Forks was a hell hole.

"Whatever. You haven't been here all your life. This place sucks. I'm gonna go to college and make something of myself. Maybe I'll go to Arizona."

"You're leaving me?" Helen asked. "Charles, you're my only son, you can't leave me. Besides, you have everything you need in Forks."

Conversations with her mother filtered into Bella's mind. She recalled Renee saying that one of the main reasons why she took her daughter and ran from Forks was because Charlie never wanted to leave Forks. He would always say that his mother had told him that he had everything he needed in Forks and that he didn't want to dishonor her memory.

Bella remembered a conversation that she'd had with her mother prior to leaving to live with her father.

 _"I put my foot down when I realized Charlie had absolutely no dreams, no ambition at all. I told him that I wanted to travel and see the world, but he refused to budge from Forks. He'd always say that his mother used to tell him that everything he ever needed was in Forks. The problem was, his mother had passed away when he was sixteen years old. I couldn't compete with the memory of a dead person—I just couldn't."_

 _"That's not why you left, was it, Mom?"_

 _"You have to understand that I loved your father. No, I love him. I still love him, but he needs to get the hell out of Forks and see the rest of the world to truly become his own man. He has only really seen Forks. He thinks that life is all about hunting, fishing, and hiking, you know. He needs to expand his horizons and see that the world has a lot more to offer than just Forks, Washington." She stared intently at Bella. "Honey, are you sure that you want to live with your father?"_

 _"I think it might be a good opportunity to get to know him a little better."_

 _"I worry about you. You've been depressed since that entire debacle with Nick and Sophia. I know that you were betrayed, but you need to hold your head up high and not let them affect you so much. Don't let the bad guys win."_

 _"I'll be fine, Mom. I want you to travel with Phil."_

 _"_ _Don_ _'t change the subject." She sighed and looked resolved. "Promise me that you'll leave Forks when you go to college. Don't stay there. Please don't stay there."_

 _"I won't," she promised._

Bella realized then that, contrary to what she had always believed, her father had once had big dreams for himself. Dreams which were suppressed by his mother's inability to let go. She felt bad for him.

"Trust me, when I say that there's a lot more to this world than just Forks, Washington. You should get out there and see it. Heck, I plan on applying to colleges outside of Arizona because there's a hell of a lot more to life than just Phoenix."

"What?" Helen Swan asked. "Where are you going? Shouldn't you be near your mother or your father?"

Bella decided to channel her own mother, who, despite her flightiness, had a lot of wisdom. "How will I ever learn to become independent if I don't leave them at some point? I can't live my life constantly doing what my parents tell me to do. I have to fly away and use the skills they've given me throughout these eighteen years. It's the only way for me to become a responsible adult."

Helen had no reply because she knew that what Bella said was absolutely true. She didn't like it, but she knew that it was correct.

"You must have a very wise mother," she said.

"I do. She doesn't take crap from her mother or mother-in-law."

Helen's eyes widened, and then narrowed. "She doesn't get along with her mother-in-law?"

"Her mother-in-law interferes in her family life too much." _Well, indirectly—from her grave, but she didn't need to know that._

"Is that why your parents are divorced?" Geoff Swan asked.

Bella was saved from answering her grandfather's question when Old Quil told Adam, Charlie, and Quil the Fourth that they had to get going because they had a Boy Scout meeting.

"Oh, is it that time already?" Gene asked.

"It is."

"Alright, let's get going. These kids have to settle in anyway." He rushed Adam, Charlie, and Quil the Fourth out of the cabin. Geoff and Old Quil went with them.

After they left, Ephraim announced, "Now, we're in a pickle. You kids will definitely have to attend school come Monday."

"Well, how are we supposed to enroll in school? Don't we need birth certificates, ID's, and such?" Bella asked.

"That won't be a problem. Gene is the principal of Forks High," Glenda replied.

"My grandpa is the high school principal?" Paul asked.

"Yes, he is, and I'm an English teacher as well as the drama coach."

"For real?"

"Yes, for real."

"Well, then, how come I got shafted? Why didn't you make sure that my dad, your son, went to college and became successful? I'm serious!"

Bella reached for a fuming Paul's hand to comfort him. He tried to snatch his hand away, snapping, "I need to get away!"

"Just calm down." She turned his head so he was looking into her eyes. "Calm down, Paul. Look at me. We're here to get answers. I know you had a crappy childhood. Hell, so did Jacob and I. Think about it, though. We're finding all sorts of stuff out about our families, which we would have never known had we not gotten back to this time period. This is part of who we are and it was taken away from us. None of us," she motioned to Jacob, Paul, then herself, "had a big family network; yet, it's clear that our fathers did."

"Paul, she's right," Jacob said, "Out of everyone in the pack, Quil and Jared are the only ones with a strong family network. The rest of us—and I mean all of us wolves plus Bella—were royally shafted. And look at how nice the reservation and Forks is. It's way better than the hellhole we live in now. It's thriving. What the hell happened?"

"I don't know! I just want to know why I had to end up with an alcoholic father who can't even feed me!" Paul dropped his head onto Bella's shoulder. She stroked his hair knowing it would comfort him. When he looked up, he said, "Do you know that if it weren't for Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, I wouldn't even have food to eat? They let me come over for dinner and I get free breakfast and lunch at school. That's why I go to school—so I can eat."

Glenda burst out into tears while Bella simply held Paul. "We're going to solve this crap when we get back, and no matter what, I'll be there for you."

"I thought you were going away for college."

"You're coming with me. Screw pack rules! You don't owe them anything!"

The three elder wolves mentioned having to run an errand, leaving the kids in the care of Helen, Glenda, and Molly. As soon as the front door snapped shut, the three women started preparing lunch and talking amongst themselves while the kids quietly discussed their situation.

Sitting in Levi's truck, the three elder wolves sat silently and thought about all they had seen and heard. The last few minutes were particularly eye-opening.

"We need to go to the tribal archives office. I want to trace the lineage of the three kids here, and the other wolves in the future pack. Who are Mr. and Mrs. Cameron?" Ephraim asked.

"Jacob mentioned a wolf named Jared from a stable family. We need to put down what we read in Paul's mind when he was phased with us. We can figure this out," Quil replied.

"Why is the Swan girl involved?" Levi questioned. "Is it because she was involved with the Cullens?"

"Yes, but, more importantly, I believe she's Paul's imprint."

"How can that be? We know he didn't imprint on her. We would have seen it in his mind."

"They met for the first time here and now, not in the future—their own time. I believe that there is a wall or a blockage of some sort, which prohibits Paul from fully imprinting on her. You saw how she was able to stop him from phasing in the middle of the cabin with just one touch and a few calming words. Only an imprint would be able to do that."

"Do you think he will imprint on her fully and completely upon their return?" Ephraim asked.

"Of that I am confident. They show all the signs of a truly imprinted couple."

"Except for the actual imprinting."

"Yes, except for that, but the wall will be removed when they return as a result of their journey here. I am sure of it," Quil stated resolutely.

"What of Jacob? From what I read in his mind while we were phased, his life since his mother died has been one of obligation and servitude for his father. His best memories are of his time spent with Bella as a child. She would visit Charlie in Forks and Sarah would babysit her while her father worked. The boy has never really had a chance to live, and now he has phased."

"I read in Paul's mind that Jake is expected to be the alpha."

"Now, why would he think that?"

"The elders told Sam Uley, and he just passed on the information."

"How is Sam Uley supposed to be a good alpha if he thinks he's just a stand-in?"

"I don't know, but it's clear to me that we have some idiots running the show in La Push in the future."

"This does not bode well for the tribe."

"We'll have to make some structural changes to ensure the sanctity of the tribe and the pack."

The elders returned to silently contemplating the situation at hand.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

 ** _Monday Morning…_**

"I can't believe we're in a time-traveling hell and we still have to go to school," Jacob moaned.

"I know, right?" Bella agreed before turning to Paul. "How are you holding up?"

"Okay, I guess. This is all so surreal. Does the high school look any different?"

"A little, but not really. I think there were a couple of renovations and additions later, but the structure is mainly the same. Everyone here looks weird, though."

"Uh, yeah, sure. Like you don't look weird. For God's sake, you're wearing frosty pink lipstick and blue eyeshadow. On top of that, your hair looks like a monsoon hit it."

"My grandma insisted."

"Well, I don't like it!"

"Right, um, what's with the overly pleated pants, the disco shirt, and the rainbow suspenders, Paul?"

Bella and Jake both started snickering at him.

"Shut up! I look like everyone else. I got this at that Chess King place the other day. Supposedly, this look is super in."

Bella looked at the other kids. "Yeah, I guess it is." She turned to Jake. "I swear you were really smart going with the rocker look."

"I know, right. At least I'm comfortable." Jake was dressed simply in jeans, a Scorpions t-shirt, and a pair of Vans.

"Yeah, well, your hair still looks messed up. You're gonna have to cut it all off now that you've phased."

"Nah uh, my great grandpa said that I don't have to cut my hair at all, owing to Black Family tradition and all."

Paul rolled his eyes. Ephraim Black looked more like a bearded collie than a wolf. In any case, he was the clumsiest wolf he'd ever seen. The guy kept tripping over his own fur. What good was that in an emergency?

The morning had been very busy for the kids. Glenda, Helen, and Molly had shown up at the cabin, early in the morning, to get the kids ready for school. They cooked a nice wholesome meal for them, did Bella's hair and makeup, and drove them to school. They had hooked the kids up with brand new backpacks and school supplies as well.

The kids had just walked into Forks High School, and they all felt like a circus act. Kids were all staring at them as they headed towards the principal's office.

"Well, hello there," the secretary greeted.

"Hey, Mrs. Cope," Bella replied offhand, then realized that she was in the 80's and…she did a double take. No, her eyes weren't deceiving her. It was Mrs. Cope—a much younger Mrs. Cope, but still Mrs. Cope.

"How did you know that I'm engaged to George Cope? He just asked me to marry him this weekend."

"Uh…uh…someone told me as I was walking into the school."

The secretary shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I suppose news travels fast in a small town." She smiled at the kids. "I'm guessing you're the three exchange students from Arizona?"

"Yes, I'm Bel…Maile Cyrus. This is Jack Sparrow and Justin Beaver."

Paul scowled at Bella when she said his moniker.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Shelly Adams, not Mrs. Cope yet. Now, Principal Lahote is waiting for you. Welcome to Forks, Washington."

The kids were led into Paul's grandfather's office where he bade them all to sit down.

"Hey, kids, did you sleep well last night?"

"Uh, yes, sir," Paul replied.

"Good, good. I have your schedules here for you."

The kids each sat down to peruse the printed sheets of paper in their hands.

"Whoa! Wait a second! How come I'm in all honors classes?" Paul asked.

"You're my grandson. You have my brains. You'll get through them."

"Sir, can you put me in remedial math?" Bella asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I have faith in you, that's why! And I tried to keep the three of you in the same classes, more or less, so you can stay together. Now, let's work on picking out your electives."

"Electives? What are those?" Jake asked. Paul nodded his head as well. He had no idea what electives were.

"Electives are classes that you choose yourself—usually in a subject that interests you," Bella explained.

"Don't you have electives anymore in the future?" Gene asked.

Jake and Paul shook their heads.

"We do at Forks High," Bella replied.

"Wait a second. Where do you boys attend school?"

"We go to the tribal school."

"Tribal school. Why?"

"I don't know. It's all I've ever known," Jake explained.

"I used to live in Seattle and I went to a normal public school there, but when I returned to La Push, I started attending the tribal school."

"But I thought the elders had agreed that the idea of a tribal school was bad due to the high level of dropouts, lack of opportunities, teen pregnancies, and rampant alcohol and drug addiction in reservation schools. Besides, we're a small tribe, we don't need the added expense of a tribal school for the handful of students attending."

"Don't look at me. I agree with you," Paul said, "All of what you said is true. Thank God, I'm dirt poor; otherwise, I'd probably be an alcoholic or a drug addict. I can't even afford those things."

"It's a good thing, too, because you don't need those kinds of problems on top of the ones you already have!" Bella stated.

"I'll look into this issue later. Now, why don't you pick your electives. Choose different ones from each other."

Bella chose Home Economics as her elective, while Jacob selected Auto Mechanics. Paul, though, was at a complete loss. He had no idea what class to pick.

"I'm not good at any of this stuff, sir."

"Can you stop calling me 'sir' when in private? I'm your grandpa." Gene shook his head. "Do you want to take Auto Mechanics with Jake?"

"Uh, no. I can't even drive a car. I'm barely ever even in one."

"What do you mean? Doesn't your father own a car?"

"No, he had his license revoked when I was ten years old and he never went back to get one."

"He has no job then?"

"He's the town drunk. No one wants to hire him. I don't even think he's capable of holding down a job, and I try to work odd jobs here and there so we can have some money. We live mostly on welfare. I handle the bills because my dad can't," he explained. "We get food stamps, but I don't know what my dad does with them. I go to the food bank each week to pick up some groceries so my dad will have something to eat. Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, they're my friend Jared's parents, feed me dinner every night. They're really nice. They have six kids of their own to feed, seven including me, but they do it out of the kindness of their hearts."

"Paul, how are you planning on getting yourself out of your situation?"

"I don't know. I want to leave, but I don't know how. I wouldn't know the first step to leaving. I want to get a steady job and all, but everyone thinks I'm like my dad. Many people don't like me."

Bella grabbed Paul's hand and squeezed it to reassure him. "I like you," she said.

"Me, too, buddy," Jake said, patting his friend on the back.

"Thanks." Paul nodded his head to his friends. "It's funny. I actually do really well in school. I'm a straight A student. Like I told you yesterday, I go to school so I can eat. I figure I might as well learn something while I'm there."

Gene sat still in shock at the information he just learned. How had Adam's life spiral into one of self-destruction? Before he could formulate a reply to his grandson, Paul spoke, "Hey, I can draw. I can draw really well. Is 'Art' drawing?"

"It involves all kinds of mediums, but yes. Why don't we sign you up for Art then?"

"Um, Mr. Lahote," Jacob asked.

"Yes."

"It says here that I'm a senior, but I'm only a junior."

"Oh, well, I assumed that you were a senior because you're friends with Bella and Paul. You'll just have to be a senior for now."

"Sure, sure." Jacob smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

He helped them finalize their schedules, then sent them off to their classes, explaining that he wanted to see them when the final bell rang.

As soon as the door to his office closed, Gene Lahote broke down and cried. Something had gone terribly wrong in the lives of these children and he wanted to know what it was. He felt so helpless.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

So far, so good. The kids were three classes in and no major incidents had occurred. They were able to keep up with their classes and the other students were very friendly, but now it was time for lunch. Bella had retrieved her lunch tray and was about to sit down when Charlie, Adam, and Quil suddenly approached her.

"Hey, Maile, how ya' doing, baby?"

"What do you want?" Bella narrowed her eyes at her teenaged father.

"What do I want? I want you, baby."

"The name is not 'Baby.' Okay?"

"Oh, you'll always be my baby."

He was right, of course. She'd always be his baby just not in the way he thought. How in hell did this guy even reproduce? He was dressed in some sort of red outfit—fake red leather pants and jacket. The jacket had big black stripes coming down in a V from the shoulders to the waistline. It was seriously ugly. He was wearing white socks with a pair of black loafers as well. His two cronies were also dressed similarly, except Adam Lahote carried his boom box with him.

"No, seriously, what do you want?"

"I wanted to ask you out on a date. You're hot. I'm hot. We should be together, you know."

"No."

"No?" He had a stunned expression on his face—as if he had never been denied anything.

"No," she replied firmly again.

"Why not?"

"Because I said no, and no means no."

"It's because you haven't gotten to know me yet, isn't it?"

"That has nothing to do with it all. I'm simply not interested."

"I'll make you interested."

Charlie suddenly snapped his fingers and it seemed the entire lunchroom stopped what they were doing to pay attention to the group. Adam Lahote placed the boom box down and pressed a button before positioning himself at Charlie's side, but slightly behind him. Quil Ateara was in a similar position. Music started blaring from the boom box, and to Bella's horror, the three boys started dancing to Michael Jackson's 'Thriller.'

Paul finally caught up to Bella, he had been held up in line by some kids talking to him. Jake was chatting animatedly to a girl off to the side.

"What the hell?"

"Um, I think they're trying to impress me," Bella whispered in his ear.

"Your dad has moves," Paul admitted. "Actually, all three of them do. Look at them go."

"Uh, it would be cute and all if they weren't trying to pick me up."

"This is true."

As soon as the performance ended, the entire lunchroom erupted in applause.

Charlie smiled at Bella, flashing his pearly whites at her. "We practiced this for you."

"Um, thank you." How else was she supposed to reply?

"Have a nice lunch." Paul whisked Bella away from the group, who were standing in place looking stunned at the rejection.

They finally sat down for lunch when they were joined by a group of girls.

"Hello," a very buxom Quileute girl with a low cut shirt, a tight mini skirt, and heels purred. "I'm Gloria." She pointed to a blonde girl. "These are my friends Karen and Julia. What's your name, handsome?" The girl seemed to shove her boobs further and further into Paul's face.

"M…M…Mo…"

Bella, realizing that Paul was about to say, 'Mom,' shoved the square pizza on her lunch tray into his mouth. They were in the presence of Paul's mother, the future Karen Newton, and the future school nurse of Forks High School.

The girls sat across from Bella and Paul.

"So, we heard you're from Arizona," Karen snipped.

"Uh, yes," Bella replied because Paul seemed unable to. He was gnawing on his pizza with a distressed expression on his face.

"Hey, are you okay?" Gloria asked. "I'm sorry if I…"

"Quiet!" Karen hissed.

"Oh, I'm fine. Aren't I, Maile?"

"Yeah, he's okay. He's just in shock at how gross the school lunch is. Of course, it's gross where we come from, too. We usually just pack a lunch. In fact, starting tomorrow, I think we'll be packing lunch."

"What's wrong with the lunch?" Julia questioned.

"Um, there's square pizza with a side of fries and some sort of mixed fruit in syrupy stuff, and a nasty red drink that tastes like food coloring and sugar."

"Oh, that's fruit punch. It's really good and even has 10 percent fruit juice in it."

It was hard to believe that Julia would eventually become the school nurse.

"Uh, yeah, we're definitely packing lunch tomorrow, lest we turn into one big carbohydrate."

"You talk weird," Karen said.

"I do?"

"Yeah, who cares how much of what's in food? Food is food," Julia said

"Omigod! I like figured it out. She's like one of those hippies, you know. She probably eats like brown bread and spinach and stuff. And for sure she smokes reefer!" Karen declared.

"Of course I don't! Do you know how bad pot is for you? It damages brain cells."

"She's like hoity-toity." The girls started giggling. "She's probably a virgin, too."

Bella was completely unaffected by her future boss and her immature remarks. Paul, on the other hand, was incensed.

"At least she doesn't go sleeping around with different guys!"

"Like I never said I slept around!" Karen cried.

"Well, I just assumed because you were bragging about not being a virgin and all."

"You are rude! Rude! Do you know who I am?"

"Don't really care. I just know that I don't talk to skanks."

There was a sharp intake of breath from Gloria, who seemed genuinely hurt by Paul's comment, and remorseful.

"Come on, girls! Let's get out of here!"

Gloria and Julia followed Karen away from the table, leaving Bella and Paul alone.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Girls like that are a dime a dozen. How are you feeling after running into your mom?"

"She's different, you know. I think she was trying to get my attention or something."

"Oh, she was, but I suspect that she isn't the way she seemed. I think Karen is their ringleader and is leading them around on her twisted leash."

"Yeah, I got that feeling, too. All of the caustic remarks were from Karen." Paul looked down at his lunch. "Um, were you serious when you said we were bagging lunch tomorrow?"

"Completely, this is nasty! This is like eating a tray of sugar."

"You're not kidding. If I eat stuff like this, I'll turn diabetic like my dad," Jacob said, joining them. Bella knew that her friend really did his best to prepare healthy foods for his father in order to keep his blood sugar at a healthy level.

"Where the heck were you? And who was that pretty girl you were talking to?"

"Her name is Linda. She's really nice. Anyway, there's a dance this weekend and she's part of the planning committee. She wants all of us to come to the meeting for it this afternoon. She thinks that since we're from Arizona, we can bring fresh opinions to the meeting." He paused and pointed. "Oh, look, there she is now with that hot Quileute chick."

Bella and Paul looked up. "Jake, that hot Quileute chick is Paul's mother!" Gloria was walking with Linda. She had a worried smile on her face, but the other girl was talking to her and rubbing her shoulder in encouragement.

"Holy shit, Paul! Your mom is wow…she's really pretty. Hey, you have her eyes," he noted.

The girls approached the table.

Paul's mother took a deep breath. "Um, hi, again. We didn't really get off to a good start." Paul's mother blushed shyly. She held out her hand. "I'm Gloria Silverwolf. I, uh, I'm sorry about Karen. She has a tendency to…well… Anyway, she made me approach you that way and I'm…I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed I did that. Karen is very…um…"

"Just say it! She's not nice!" Linda said. "I try to avoid her. She's like too gossipy and selfish."

"For sure," Gloria agreed.

"Anyway, Gloria, this is Jack Sparrow. He's agreed to come to our meeting this afternoon."

She turned to Paul and Bella. "I'm Linda Collins."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Maile Cyrus and this is Justin Beaver."

"So, you're from Arizona?"

"Yes, we're from Phoenix."

"Wow, you're from a big city."

"Phoenix is big, but it's pretty spread out compared to Seattle. I would say Seattle is bigger."

"I've never been to Seattle, and I'm only three hours away. My mom says it's too dangerous there."

"Maybe we can like go there after graduation if I can come up with the money somehow,"Gloria suggested. "Do you travel a lot?"

"Oh, our exchange program included an overnight in Seattle," Paul said. "We got to go to the Space Needle, Pike Place Market, and the Waterfront. It was great."

"Wow, I've always wanted to go to those places. Seattle seems so awesome."

"It's exciting, but I wouldn't call it awesome. The streets are filthy and you see a lot of people struggling because of poverty. All of those places we went to are touristy spots, but once you step away from them, you see the daily strife."

Paul knew more than anyone how hard life in Seattle was. He was born and raised there until he was eight. He remembered his father struggled to make ends meet; yet, still, in those days Adam Lahote had made time for Paul. He remembered feeling as if he was the most important person in the world to his father. He remembered feeling loved by both parents, in fact.

He looked at the girl sitting in front of him. Gloria Silverwolf seemed to be a sweet girl. She was drop dead gorgeous, yet at the same time, she wasn't very confident. That Karen girl had some sort of strange influence on her, and it was negative. He'd think more on it later.

"Wow, you must be like really smart. I mean, you were only in Seattle for a day and you know everything about it."

"I'm just observant," he lied.

"I love smart guys."

"Oh, um…thank you."

"So, anyway, we want to invite you to the Dance Committee meeting after school today. So like can you guys like make it?"

"Sure, sure. Of course we can," Jacob replied speaking for everyone else.

Just then the bell rang indicating that lunch was over.

"Okay, so like the meeting is in Mrs. Lahote's classroom. Do you like know where that is?"

"No, but we'll ask around."

"Alright, we'll see you after school then."

After the girls left, Paul asked, "Was it my imagination or did they say 'like' a lot?"

"Like, for sure," Bella joked back in Valley Girl speech.

"You're a little smart aleck, aren't you?"

"Yeah, she is. That's why she's my bestie," Jake said. "She's funny and nice. Alright, what's next for classes?"

Bella looked down at her schedule. "Crap, I think this is where we split up."

"Damn it. Alright, just yell for Jake or me if anyone bothers you, okay? We'll be able to hear you with our enhanced hearing." He glanced at his schedule. "Where is the art room?"

"Just take a left here, go down the hallway, and you'll see it on your right. At least, that's where it is in the future. Jake, you're down in the basement."

"Okay, see you in a bit, Bells," Jake gave her a peck on the cheek before taking off.

"See you at our next class," Paul also kissed Bella on the cheek and went in search of the art room.

Bella sighed and loped off to her next class. Hopefully, they wouldn't run into any trouble while they were alone in their electives. She had home economics. What could possibly happen there?


	14. Chapter 14

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

Bella entered her home economics classroom, when-lo and behold-she ran straight into her very own father.

"Hey, Arizona! You're in my class!"

"No, really?" she replied sarcastically. "What are you doing here, Charlie?"

"Hey, you remember my name."

"I try to make it a habit to put names and faces together. Anyway, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in shop or something?"

"Nope, that's where Quil is. I'm in this class so I can learn how to sew."

"How to sew? What for?" she asked curiously.

"Forget it." He waved her off. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Before she could get an explanation, the class started. Bella, ahem Maile, was introduced to the rest of the class, and the teacher explained what their current lesson topic, "Today, we will be learning how to make a basic marinara sauce. Can someone tell me why having a good red sauce recipe is important?"

No one raised their hand so Bella decided to chime in. "A good marinara sauce recipe is important because it provides the base for many Italian dishes. For example, marinara sauce can be used to make bolognese sauce, it can be used in lasagna, veal or eggplant parmesan, meatball subs, etc."

"Very good answer, Maile. Is there anything else you'd like to add?"

"It can also be frozen in a Tupperware or it can be canned."

"Excellent, excellent." She turned to the class. "It is exactly as she says. A good marinara sauce is excellent to have in the kitchen because it works for so many recipes. Today, we will be working in pairs at the stoves." Bella saw ten stoves lined up on one side of the classroom. "Who would like to work with Maile?"

Charlie immediately raised his hand. "I would, Mrs. Crocker."

"Thank you, Charlie. Now, is everyone paired off?" She scanned the room. "Excellent. Put on an apron, find a stove, and get to cooking. You'll find the recipe for marinara sauce on page fifty-one of your books."

Bella scanned the recipe, took a look at the ingredients provided, and crinkled her nose. She wondered how the heck she was supposed to bring out the flavor in the tomatoes without red wine or olive oil. She would have to make do.

"So, um, what do we do first?" her father asked.

"We need to chop the onions."

"I'll do that," Charlie offered. Bella watched as her father attempted to peel the onion skin.

"It'll be easier to peel the skin if you sliced the ends off first..." Bella took the chopping board, knife and onion from Charlie. "I'll do the first one, you watch me, and do the next one, okay?"

"Sure."

So, Bella wielded the knife and started chopping at a blinding rate of speed. Charlie, who enjoyed having theattention of seemingly the entire class on them, passed her another onion.

"Where did you learn to do that?" he asked.

"I have to cook all of my meals at home."

"That doesn't seem right. My mom cooks all of our meals, and if she can't, my dad fixes us something."

"Well, my parents expect me to have all the meals ready on the table for them."

"Sorry, but they seem like assholes," he said as someone else passed their onions to him to pass to her.

"Oh, they are, especially my dad." Bella was enjoying this conversation a bit too much. "My father actually has me do all of the cleaning and laundry when I'm at his house."

"Doesn't your mom help?"

"My parents are divorced."

"That's like really sad. Why did they get divorced? Didn't they love each other when they got married?"

"My dad likes to stick close to home. The most important things to him are fishing, hunting, and watching sports on TV. All of that is great if done in moderation, but my dad put all of those things above his wife and daughter. Anyway, even if Mom loved him, she left because she felt as if she was giving her all to the marriage and he wasn't compromising. Compromise in any relationship is the most important thing."

"Omigod, you are like so right!" a very pretty Native American girl said, passing her onions to Bella. "I am so breaking up with that prick!"

"You're already dating someone? You just moved to Forks from Neah Bay two weeks ago," Charlie pointed out to the unknown girl.

"I am, or more like, I will be breaking up with the jerk. He's like refusing to meet my friends or my parents, you know?"

"Well, who is he? Does he go to Forks High?"

"No, he goes to Port Angeles High School. I met him while I was looking for a new raincoat at Forks Outfitters. He's really handsome, a senior, and the quarterback of the football team."

"Wait a second, you're dating Will Clifton," Charlie said. "We've been going to the same football camp every summer since eighth grade. He's not a senior, he's a junior."

"W…W…Will Clifton? That's the name of the quarterback?" the girl asked. "Is he like six feet tall with long, black hair and dark brown eyes? Is he Klallam?"

"No, Will Clifton has red hair, and I have no idea what color his eyes are. I don't pay attention to stuff like that. I can tell you that he isn't six feet tall. He's shorter than I am—maybe five feet eight or so—but fast as all hell. I doubt he's Klallam. He's whiter than Maile is."

The girl started hyperventilating. Bella stopped chopping onions—she noticed she had just chopped all of the onions in the classroom since everyone kept handing her theirs. "Um, are you okay?"

The girl dropped down to the floor and started crying. Bella put her arm around the sobbing girl.

"What's going on here?" the teacher asked.

"I don't know. She just started crying. It can't be the onions, can it?"

"Okay, Charlie, can you escort Tiffany to the nurse's office?"

"Uh, sure, Mrs. Crocker."

"Hey, Tiff. I'll take you to see the nurse. You have to let go of Maile, though."

She kept crying, gluing herself to Bella. "I guess I could go to the nurse with her."

"I don't need to go to the nurse. I'm just upset! The guy I've been dating lied to me and I don't know what to believe anymore."

"It must have been a big lie."

"Yeah, he fed me all these lies about being the quarterback and all. I have a mind to drive to the Klallam Reservation and tell him off!"

"Well, who is this guy? If we meet him on the field, we'll trounce him. The Forks High Spartans don't like anyone who messes around with any Forks High girls, especially Port Angeles dudes."

"He told me his name was Josh Uley, but I don't even know if that's true."

"Josh Uley?" Everyone in the class, including Mrs. Crocker and Bella gasped.

"But he's married and has a baby!" Charlie exclaimed.

And with that information, Tiffany emitted a hair-raising scream that could be heard throughout the high school, causing the administration to put the school on lockdown.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

 ** _Meanwhile in art class…_**

"Hi, Justin!" an excited Gloria Silverwolf approached Paul. "You can sit here next to me," she gushed.

Paul looked around the classroom and noticed that the only open seat was next to his mother. "Sure."

"Do you like art?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I like to draw."

Gloria nodded her head. "So do I."

She opened up her sketch book and showed him some of her drawings. They were really good. Paul recognized some of the places. "This is First Beach, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. Have you been there?"

"Just yesterday," he quickly said.

"I love it in La Push. Don't get me wrong, I want to travel and see the world, but I love La Push. It's so serene and tranquil there. Is your reservation like mine?"

Paul didn't know a thing about the reservation he was supposedly from. He needed Bella for that. "Um, no, not at all. Arizona is all desert." He was pretty sure of that fact. "It's very dry and hot."

"Like how hot?"

"It's like baking in an oven." Paul nodded his head.

"Oh, yuck! So, no beach?"

"Not really." He was hoping his mother would stop asking questions about Arizona because the only thing he knew about it was that it was in the desert and down south. He was saved when the instructor started class.

"Hello, kids! We have a new student today. Let's give a big welcome to Mr. Justin Beaver from Arizona."

Paul cringed when the teacher announced his alias—it was reason enough to want to go back to the future. What the hell had Bella been thinking? He probably shouldn't have retaliated and called her Miley Cyrus. No, he should have; she deserved it for naming him that. At least Jacob had sense enough to tweak their names a bit to Justin Beaver and Maile Cyrus.

The kids applauded and Paul smiled and waved at them.

"Okay, so today we will be pairing off and sketching our partners. Justin, I see you've already met Gloria so why don't the two of you partner up?"

"Sure, but I don't have a sketch book."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot that I have to issue one to you." Mr. Ross opened a supply closet in his room and grabbed a sketchbook and a set of art pencils. "Here you go. These are for you."

"Thank you."

"Okay, kids. Get to sketching."

Paul sat across from Gloria and opened his sketchbook up. He grabbed a pencil out of the small tin and admired it. He usually just drew with whatever was around. He had never owned a real sketchbook or real art pencils. He put pencil to paper, looked up at his mother, and started drawing. The first thing he noticed was that he had her eyes. He looked, for the most part, like his paternal grandfather, but the eyes belonged to his mom.

"Hey, Gloria, why don't you trade spots with me?" Karen—the future Mrs. Newton—asked.

"Oh…um…" Gloria couldn't really form a response.

"Come on, Gloria. He should be sitting with me."

"Why?" Paul questioned.

"Because I want to work with you."

"Yeah, well, in life we don't all get what we want all the time now, do we? I'm happy working with Gloria."

Karen seemed stunned that someone actually stood up to her. She had her mouth hanging open and she appeared to be trying to form words, although nothing was coming out of her mouth.

"Is there a problem, Karen?" Mr. Ross asked.

"Yes, I want Gloria to switch partners with me, but she won't."

"You usually pair up with Julia. Why do you want to change partners now?"

"I…I…It's just that Justin here is new and who best to show him around the school than the head cheerleader."

"Cheerleading has nothing to do with drawing. Now please sit down before I send you down to Mr. Lahote's office for not cooperating in class."

Karen narrowed her eyes at Gloria before returning to her seat. Paul could hear her complaining to her friend about not being able to partner up with 'the hot new guy' because Gloria stole him from her.

"You're the one who forced Gloria to go and talk to him during lunch," Julia whispered. "You even told her what to do."

Paul shook his head and went back to work.

"Um, thank you for standing up for me," his mother said.

"You shouldn't let her push you around. She's a bitch."

"I know. It's just hard for me to make friends, and guys…well, guys seem to only notice me for one thing."

"For what? Your talent? Because that's an awesome drawing of me."

"Thank you. I really like to draw."

"Yeah? What else do you like to do? I mean what do you want to do once you graduate?"

"Well, Julia wants to be a nurse and Karen wants to be a businesswoman."

"I didn't ask what they wanted to do, I asked what you wanted to do."

"Oh, I'm too poor to have dreams."

And that one statement was very eye-opening to Paul Lahote because he realized that someone had crushed all of his mother's hopes and dreams. He was just like her—too poor to have dreams—until now. Now, he knew that he'd be able to crawl out of his hell hole because, for the first time, someone believed in him. That someone was Isabella Marie Swan. It was too bad it took time traveling to the 1980's to figure it out…or was it?

He looked earnestly in his mother's eyes. "You know, on my reservation, I'm known as the son of a drunk—a nobody destined for nothing. My mother walked out on my father when I was eight years old and he sunk into a spiral of depression and turned to alcohol. I don't know what happened between my parents, but I do know they were too selfish to think about my needs. I grew up without any hope, but I know now that I can get out of my rut."

"Oh Taha Aki! You've been alone for so long. Your parents certainly were selfish. At least my mother was thinking about me when she…well, it doesn't matter. I would never leave a child alone—not after what happened to me."

"Yeah, they were pretty selfish, but I think they loved me at one point. I'm pretty sure they did. Anyway, if I can crawl out of my hell hole, then so can you."

"You don't understand," she whispered. "It's not just me that I have to worry about. I have my little sister to raise, too."

A sister? He has an aunt? "What happened to your parents?" Paul asked.

"They're both in jail."

He never knew that. He had no idea that his grandparents were criminals. He wanted to know what happened.

"Why?"

"My father is in jail for selling drugs and my mother is in jail for murder. She killed a man because…because he tried…he tried to do stuff to me."

"Do stuff to you? What kind of stuff?" Paul questioned, fearing the answer.

"Um…I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you my problems." She shook her head. "It was my fault anyway."

"What do you mean it was your fault? What happened?" Paul could see the hesitation in her eyes. Who could blame her? They only just met this at lunch today. Why should she pour her heart out to him? "You can tell me. I'm trustworthy. You really look like you need to vent your feelings."

She nodded her head and whispered, "My father owed money to his supplier. In exchange, he told him that he could…could have sex with me. My mom came home from work, found him in my room, and killed him before he could do stuff."

Paul's mouth popped open in shock. He truly had no idea that this was part of his family history. He had no idea at all. He was sad for her. He was sad for his grandmother that he'd never met. He also was ready to murder several people including his pathetic, drug-dealing grandfather. It was just so wrong! What kind of a father sells his own daughter for drugs? And what the hell was wrong with the elders? They should be defending his grandmother and helping his mother, not shunning them! "Can't anyone help your mom? She was only trying to defend you."

"That's the thing. We're too poor to afford a good lawyer and the elders have pretty much turned their backs on my family because the supplier came from a powerful family in my tribe. I work at Forks Outfitters as much as I can so that I can support my sister and me. Jasmine is only in seventh grade so she can't get a job yet." She smiled at Paul. "I hope I'm not depressing you with my problems. I never usually tell people about them. It's just too shameful."

"Hey, your problems aren't too different from mine. And second, they are not shameful. You should take pride in the fact that you're working, trying to stay afloat, and raising your little sister." He glanced up to see Karen scowling at them. "Can I give you advice?"

"Yes."

"Don't hang out with that Karen girl anymore. She's not a good person."

"No, she's not."

"Maybe you should hang out with Linda? She seems nice."

"Oh, she is. She wants to go to beauty school. I wish I could do something after high school, too."

"You can," Paul assured her. "You can do anything you want to. It just takes gumption."

"You really are nice. I'm very sorry for coming onto you earlier. Karen made me."

"Well, don't do stuff just because Karen tells you to anymore. Tell her to take a hike. You need to stand up for yourself and be brave. It took a long time for me to figure that out."

Before Gloria could reply, an ear-piercing scream was heard throughout the school, halting their conversation. The art students all dropped what they were doing—half terrified, half curious. Mr. Ross told the students to remain seated then checked the hallway. Just as he was closing the door, an announcement came over the PA system stating that the school was on lockdown as a precaution.

"I wonder what happened?" Gloria asked.

"I don't know. I just hope everyone is safe," he replied, thinking of Bella.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

By the end of the class period, the school was taken off of lockdown, and the day continued as usual.

"Paul, did you hear that scream earlier?" Jacob asked,as he settled into his new class.

"I did." He looked around the classroom, agitated. Bella was not in class. She was supposed to be here. His heart started pounding in his chest. Where was she?

"Good afternoon, class! We have three…no two new students joining us today from Arizona. Mr. Paul…sorry Justin Beaver and Mr. Jack Sparrow. I am Mrs. Lahote." She turned to the class. "Please give them a warm Forks High School welcome." After the class applauded she said, "Today, we will continue with our reading of Pride and Prejudice."

"Paul, you don't think it was Bella who screamed earlier, do you? I mean it didn't sound like her so I didn't make much of it, but…"

Clearly, Jake was also worried about Bella; otherwise, he wouldn't have asked the question.

"It didn't sound like her, but then again, I've never heard her scream."

"Have you boys read Pride and Prejudice?" Glenda asked.

"No, I haven't," Paul replied.

"Neither have I," Jake agreed.

"Well, that's okay. You'll have to do some extra reading to catch up with us. We're only on the third chapter. I can…"

The sound of the door opening interrupted Glenda. Bella walked inside carrying two hall passes. She had her arm around a pretty Native American girl and she looked angry.

"Ah, welcome, here is our third new student. This is Maile Cyrus. Thank you for showing her the way, Tiffany. Why don't the two of you have a seat? We are reading a book called Pride and Prejudice. Justin already mentioned that you haven't covered it at your school in Arizona." Mrs. Lahote turned worriedly to Tiffany. "Are you okay, honey?"

"I'm fine. Maile is helping me through this."

"Stupid, bastard Wickham," Bella mumbled under her breath, while staring at the cover of the book in front of her.

"Who the hell is Wickham?" Paul whispered to Jake.

"No idea. Must be a really, bad guy."

"Well, as soon as I find this guy, I'm going to teach him a lesson," Paul declared, cracking his knuckles while scowling angrily.

"Well, it's nice to see that you have made a new friend." Glenda said to Bella." Let's get back to the novel. Turn to chapter three, please." The class did as she asked. "I want to discuss first impressions, which in fact, was the original title of 'Pride and Prejudice. In chapter three, during the ball, Mr. Bingley urges Mr. Darcy to dance with Elizabeth Bennett. This is when Darcy gives one of literature's most famous replies, 'She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.' He, of course, says this within earshot of Elizabeth. If a boy or girl were to say that about you, how would you feel? What was your first impression of Mr. Darcy?"

Several kids raised their hands, all of them saying that their feelings would be hurt, that Mr. Darcy was a jerk, etc.

Bella raised her hand. "Yes, Isabella…I mean Maile, dear?" Mrs. Lahote chuckled uncomfortably at her faux pas. "You look like an Isabella."

"Fitzwilliam Darcy is not a jerk. He's shy and did not feel like dancing, and Charles Bingley was pressuring him; however, he could have handled himself better because he really made a bad first impression on the neighborhood with the way he slighted Elizabeth Bennett. Now, if you want to discuss first impressions, let's talk about George Wickham—he made a really great first impression. He's charming, handsome, and he's really open. Those are his only good qualities, though. The guy is a bastard. Seriously, he is. He spouts his woe-be-gone tale of lies, makes himself look as if he's the golden son, acts as if he has been cheated and victimized, and spreads lies about people behind their backs. On top of that, he turns on the charm to innocent girls and seduces them—and by seduce, I mean have sex, which in those days ruined them and their entire families. So, if you want to talk evil jerk, then it would be George Wickham. The guy should have been strung up by his balls and shot dead. Furthermore, I am sick and tired of guys thinking that they could have their way with girls just because they whisper a few sweet words into their ear." Bella stood up and pumped her fist. "Girls, we have to all stick together and not let anyone push us around—guys, mean girls, adults—and I mean any bully. We have to stand up for ourselves and think independently like Elizabeth Bennet!"

"Yeah!" all of the girls in class whooped in unison.

"Thank you, Maile. It's clear you've read Pride and Prejudice before and have a good understanding of it; however, George Wickham doesn't show up for a few more chapters yet. We are still on the chapter where the protagonists meet at the assembly."

"I wanted the girls to be prepared for George Wickham. He's a super, shady guy. He epitomizes the phrase 'looks can be deceiving.' You can learn a lot about guys through literature."

"That's very considerate of you, dear. Does anyone have anything else to add?" She looked around the class. "No? Then let's get on with class."

The rest of the class passed without any major speeches from anyone. Paul's grandmother did most of the talking with Bella adding to it. Apparently, Pride and Prejudice was her favorite book. By the end of the class, it was clear that Glenda Lahote had a new favorite student.

As soon as class ended, Paul pulled Bella to the side. "Why were you late?"

"Obviously because I was helping a friend. Besides, you're not my keeper."

"No, but I worry about you. Remember that!"

"Sorry. I'm just mad."

"Why? What happened? Did someone do something to you?" Paul was ready to crack some skulls.

"Not to me. Someone did something to my new friend and I'm upset. I'll tell you about it tonight, I promise. What class do we have?"

"P.E."

"Yuck."

"You'll survive."

"Maile, what class do you have?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Tiff, I didn't mean to abandon you. I was just talking to my friend. This is Justin Beaver."

"I know, you guys are in my history class, too. I'm Tiffany Call," she introduced herself.

"Tiffany Call?" Paul arched an eyebrow at Bella.

"Yes, my family just moved to Forks a couple of weeks ago from the Makah Reservation. I'm new here, too. I have P.E. next. What about you guys?"

"Same."

"Oh, we're in the same class! That's like so cool. I'll show you the way."

Jacob joined them on their trip to P.E. class. He seemed to have racked up a large following of friends. There were girls who thought he was gorgeous and guys who were impressed by his skill with cars. Apparently, he had excelled in his auto repair class. Bella wasn't surprised at all. He had single handedly rebuilt that rusty, old Rabbit himself.

 ** _Speaking of which…_**

In the middle of the forest, bordering Forks and La Push,sat alone Volkswagen Rabbit in desperate need of some love. Two blonde vampires, a man and a woman with smiles on their faces, approached it.

"Wow! This heap sure needs help."

"It sure does. I've never seen a new model car in such bad shape. Do you think the owner just abandoned it in the middle of the forest?" the woman asked.

The man put two fingers under his chin and began thinking. "No, he's gonna come back for it."

"We should fix it for him, don't you think? It'll give us something to do and we'd be doing a good deed. Besides, what good is having all of the money in Maria's coffers if we're not paying it forward?"

"How did you become so sweet, darlin'?"

"I'm only sweet because I married you."

"Well, let's get this hunk of junk home and give it some love. We'll bring it back in a few days. Are you ready, Char?"

"Ready as ever, Pete."

And with that, the couple used their super strength, hauled the Rabbit over their heads, and started running through the forest to their home in Idaho.

 ** _And now back to our regularly scheduled programming…_**

When the school bell finally chimed, Jacob and Paul headed back to Mrs. Lahote's English class for the Dance Committee meeting. There were several students there including Adam Lahote and Quil Ateara.

Linda started the meeting straightaway. "Um, it looks like we're missing a few people." She turned to Quil. "Where's Charlie?"

"Oh, sorry, he went to La Push with Tiffany and that new girl Maile."

"Where?" Paul asked, shocked.

"La Push—it's…"

"Wait, wait, wait. Did you say that he went there with Tiffany and Maile?"

"Yep. They've got business to take care of."

"What kind of business can Maile possibly have in La Push?" Paul's grandmother, the supervising faculty member, asked worriedly.

"It was her idea, Mom," Adam replied. "We're all friends here so I guess it's okay if I tell you. Tiffany has been dating a guy who has been lying to her. I mean like he like totally lied to her—he pretended to be the quarterback of the Port Angeles High Football team. It turned out that he was Josh Uley."

"No!" Gloria exclaimed. "He's like married to that nice girl Allison and they have an adorable little boy named Sam."

"Exactly."

"Anyway, Maile was with Tiffany when she discovered that he'd been lying. It was Charlie who figured it out. So, Maile told Tiffany that she should confront him and Charlie offered to drive them since he knows where Josh lives and all."

"Oh, dear." Glenda shuffled worriedly on her feet. She had to get word to the elders about this new development.

"We should go and help," Linda declared. "We'll just have to work extra hard tomorrow on planning the dance.

"Yes, I agree," Jake quickly said.

The entire group of students stood up to leave, ran to the parking lot, and piled into three vehicles. Glenda Lahote didn't stop them like she normally would have done; instead, she hurried down to her husband's office to inform him of what was transpiring.

As for Paul, he was already running through the forest towards La Push in wolf form.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

Paul arrived in La Push well ahead of Bella. The only problem was that he was buck naked—or wolf naked—as he had phased out of his clothes. How the hell was he supposed to help Bella while he was in the nude? He cursed himself for not thinking things through. He could have run here in human form and still would have beat her here.

The only house he could think of to go to was his grandparents' house so he quickly jogged there. Of course, the doors were locked. Paul decided to try the sliding glass door in the back. Nope, no luck. He tried every single window and finally lucked out when he was able to pry open the bathroom window. He slid through it and went in search of clothes. He went into his father's room, which was surprisingly pretty organized. Paul was stunned to see a complex LEGO model of a real working town along with several other projects he was working on. He also had a TV with an Atari Game Console hooked up to it. On the walls there was a NASA poster as well as one of some blonde chick in a bikini. His father had a very good life it seemed. It rankled his nerves: he had never been given those kinds of advantages.

Paul quickly rushed to the closet to look for some clothes. He found a drawer filled with shorts. He rummaged through it and thought, "Jesus, doesn't he have anything without a loud print on it?" Shaking his head, he went to the next drawer where he found a pair of gray sweatpants. He grabbed a t-shirt and threw it on. "What the heck does Duran Duran mean?" he muttered looking at the print. He grabbed a pair of sneakers, knowing they would fit him—he and his father had the same shoe size.

After he was fully outfitted, he made his way to the house where the Clearwaters would eventually live. He hid behind a large tree and waited for Bella to arrive. His plan was to talk some sense into her and bring her back to the cabin. This idea of hers to confront Josh Uley was insane. The confrontation could jeopardize their futures, and it was the least that could happen. Bella could get hurt. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if she got hurt.

The sound of a vehicle approaching jostled Paul out of his thoughts. He stepped out from his hiding spot behind a tree as soon as the Jeep pulled to a stop. He was waiting when Charlie, Bella, and Tiffany stepped out of it.

"Hey, Justin! Did you come to help?" Charlie asked. "I could use some backup. Josh Uley is a pretty big dude. I'm fairly sure I can take him, but just in case, it's good to know you're here." He looked at the t-shirt Paul was wearing and smiled. "Awesome shirt, by the way. I like Duran Duran," and then he started singing, _"Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd, and I'm hungry like the wolf."_

Bella smiled sweetly. "Of course he's here to help. Justin is a real standup guy."

Paul narrowed his eyes at her, went to her side, and whispered in her ear, "We'll discuss this later." She turned her head away from him, acting like she didn't hear him. "I know you heard me." She continued to ignore him while they headed for the front door. Just as Charlie was about to knock on the front door, the Forks High School Dance Committee descended from their vehicles and rushed to the porch.

"We're here to help you, Tiffany. You're new here and someone should have told you about Josh Uley. We had no idea it was him you were dating," Linda Collins said. "You never really mentioned his name."

"That's because he asked me not to because it wouldn't do for the quarterback of Port Angeles High School to date a girl from Forks High School."

"It looks like he covered all of the bases. That jerk!" Gloria spat angrily.

"What a creep," Bella stated between gritted teeth. "I'm going to teach him a lesson he should have learned long ago." She pounded on the front door. "Open the goddamned door, Josh Uley!"

"Alright, alright, what gives?" a tall, young man with his long hair tied in a ponytail answered the door. He stepped out onto the porch and quickly shut the door. He looked a bit familiar, maybe Sam had his height and his eyes, but that was where the familiarity ended. He spotted Tiffany and donned a look of surprise before he coolly greeted, "Oh, hey, babe. How did you know I lived here?"

Tiffany stood still looking intimidated, but Bella, who clearly wasn't, replied, "Don't call her babe, you lying, cheating, sack of dung!" Bella nudged Tiffany. "If you don't stand up for yourself now and tell him how it is, you'll never be able to do it. Now is the time to get angry!"

Tiffany mustered up her confidence before approaching the deceitful jerk who had been lying to her. "You're a real scumbag, Josh Uley! You lied to me about who you were and pretended that you liked me when, come to find out, you're married and have a baby! How could you do that to me? Even worse, how could you do that to your wife and your son?"

"Get the hell off of my porch and don't you ever talk about my wife and kid! You're not worth my time, you Makah bitch. You can't even put out!"

"You asshole!" Bella yelled. "Don't talk to her that way!"

The door opened behind him. "Woohoo! Hok'wat girl has got some balls!" a young Billy Black cheered. A large plume of foul smelling smoke wafted out from the house. Harry Clearwater passed the joint he was smoking to Josh who inhaled it and passed it to Billy.

Billy took a drag then held the joint out to Charlie. "You want a hit, buddy?" He seemed to be debating whether or not to accept the offering.

Bella snatched it away from him and promptly stomped it out on the ground. "How dare you? How dare you push drugs onto others? These are impressionable high school students!"

"Hey! That costs money!"

"Money? You're concerned about the cost of a joint? What about diapers? I know for a fact that you have twins, Billy Black! Maybe you should be spending money on diapers instead of on dope!"

"Hey, who the hell are you? How do you know who I am?"

Bella didn't reply. Jacob stood there with his mouth agape and in complete shock at his father's reprehensible behavior. Never, in his life, did he imagine his father was a pothead. His respect for Billy plummeted. He realized that for his entire life, he had sacrificed his own life for someone who did not deserve his help. He even tried to get Charlie to take a hit of his joint. What a creep! His father was nothing but a pathetic druggie with fried brain cells.

Meanwhile, Josh Uley lit up another joint and leered at Bella. "You want some?" he offered. "I've never seen you around. You're kind of cute for a Hok'wat chick. I bet we can have a good time together."

Bella tried to make a grab for the joint so that she could dispose of it, but he seized her hand and pulled her to him. "No, no, no. I don't play that way, honey."

Paul was about to step in when Bella shouted, "Yeah, well, play with this!" and kneed Josh Uley in the groin. She grabbed the joint and handed it to Paul who got rid of it of quickly. Bella, then, promptly gave Josh a solid left hook across his jaw followed by a roundhouse kick. "Never touch me or anyone else again, you little shit!" She punched him two more times for good measure.

"Oh, man! That was awesome!" Charlie cheered excitedly. "Where did you learn to do that?" He'd never seen anything so amazing. She was like the Karate Kid—only a girl.

"My father," Bella replied, still in fighting stance with her fists ready to dole out more punches."He has a black belt in karate and insisted I take lessons so I can defend myself. I just got my black belt about a year ago."

Josh Uley was sprawled out on the ground, clutching his crotch, and groaning in pain.

"What the hell is your problem, bitch! We never did anything to you! We don't even know who the hell you are?" Harry Clearwater shouted.

"You three should be ashamed of yourselves!" Gloria Silverwolf chastised. "All three of you have wives and babies and you're sitting on this porch swilling beer and smoking pot! How could you do this to your families?"

"You should talk, considering your father is a drug dealer and your mother is a murderer."

"My mother murdered your brother because he tried to rape me! You have a daughter now. How would you feel if someone tried to do that to her?"

Harry glared at Gloria, then spat, "You were asking for it!"

Before Gloria could say anything, Harry was knocked to the ground by a fist to his temple by none other than Adam Lahote. "Leave her alone! No girl ever asks to be raped! No means no, fucker!"

Paul was completely impressed by his father who seemed to be coming out of his shell.

"You don't touch her, you don't look at her, and you don't ever speak to her. Do you understand me?" Adam turned to Gloria and gently asked, "Are you okay?"

The sound of a baby crying jolted all of them to attention.

"You have babies in the house?" Bella cried with incredulity. She shoved Billy out of the way and rushed towards the noise.

She ignored the sound of Josh yelling, "Hey, you can't go in there! This is private property!" and pushed ahead. She heard Jake and some other guys subduing the three druggies as she searched for the babies. What she found made her heart hurt. Inside a playpen, in a bedroom, were three infants—a boy and twin girls. There was rolling paper and a bag of weed on a nearby nightstand. Bella reached for the crying boy. She was about to call the others for help when Paul and Gloria came to the rescue. They, too, picked up a baby each and hurried outside with them, away from the drug den.

By the time they got outside, the elders had arrived along with Paul's and Bella's grandparents and the tribal police. The kids all explained what had happened, and what they had found inside.

Levi Uley entered the house and shook his head in disgust. He led the three drug addicts outside then turned to them. "We will discuss the appropriate consequences for your actions. For now, you will be remanded in custody of the La Push Tribal Police, but I can tell you with confidence that two of you will never have the privilege of becoming tribal elders!"

"No, grandfather, please!" Josh begged.

"You chose to cross the line by endangering your own child and smoking drugs! And how dare you take advantage of young Tiffany Call! She is a minor! Have you no morals?"

Josh Uley had no answer for his grandfather. He simply hung his head in shame.

Ephraim Black turned to Harry. "Elder Clearwater, your powers as tribal elder are hereby suspended pending investigation into your actions."

Harry Clearwater glared angrily at the tribal chief. "You can't do this! My family have been elders for generations! I deserve…"

He was cutoff by Ephraim. "You don't deserve a goddamned thing! So far, you have shown no remorse for your actions today! Can you not understand what a serious transgression drug usage is to the position of elder? You have proven today that you lack the integrity and responsibility one needs to be an elder. If your father or grandfather were alive, they would be deeply ashamed of you!"

Harry was unable to look into the elder's eyes. He looked away instead.

Meanwhile, Billy Black got on his knees in front of Ephraim Black. "Please, grandfather, do not take the legacy away from me. I have the girls to consider. I…"

His grandfather gave him a swift slap across the face. "You were smoking marijuana in front of your babies! You should be ashamed of yourself! All three of you are a disgrace to the Quileute Nation! Now, get in the squad car before I teach you a lesson you won't soon forget!"

The elders placed the young men into the squad car and watched it drive off.

Ephraim Black turned to the kids. "You were all very brave and are to be commended for your work. You rescued these precious babies from an unconscionable situation."

Paul looked into the baby's eyes and she started bawling at the sight of him. Sheesh. Paul couldn't hand her off soon enough.

"Oh, crap! Here Jake, you take her." He tried to pass whichever Black sister he had to her brother.

"Aw, man! I don't want her!" Jake cried. The little baby looked into Jake's eyes and seemed to snicker at him. "Look at her! She already hates me!"

Ephraim Black took the baby from Paul, who was glad to get rid of her. "Oh, Rachel, what shall we do about your father?" He cuddled her in his arms.

Old Quil took Rebecca and Levi Uley took Sam into his arms.

"We need to place these babies into safekeeping before we see to the situation," Levi said. "I am very grateful to all of you kids for saving them and alerting us to the situation in this house."

A few of the kids left, leaving just Adam, Charlie, Quil the Fourth, Gloria, and Tiffany standing around with the three kids from the future.

"Oh, Mom, I forgot. Maile, Tiffany, and I have to make marinara sauce for homework because we had to go the nurse's office during class. It's due tomorrow."

"We can do that at our house. Marinara sauce is easy."

"You should see Maile. She can chop onions faster than you can. Mrs. Crocker got mad at her because she chopped all of the onions in the class."

"Well, I'll have to see what she can do."

"I use my grandmother's marinara sauce recipe," Bella told her proudly.

"I'm sure your grandmother is a very talented lady." Helen developed a smug smile on her face.

"Oh, yes, she is," Bella replied, thinking of her Grandmother Higgenbotham's stellar cooking skills.

"I should get home. I have to see to my sister. We have to eat dinner before I go to work." Gloria turned to Adam. "Thank you for standing up for me today."

"No problem," Adam said and grinned at the girl. "Can I walk you home?"

"Oh, it's okay. I have my car here. It was very nice of you to offer." She then said to Paul. "Thank you for listening to me during art class. I wouldn't have had the confidence to tell Elder Clearwater off otherwise. You really are very nice."

"Wait!" Paul turned to his grandfather. "Someone needs to help Gloria. You're the principal! She's still in high school and she has to work to support her kid sister. How come you aren't aware of this?"

"Is this true, Gloria?" Gene asked. He truly had thought that family had taken the Silverwolf girls in after the Clearwater incident.

"Yes, um…since my mom was put in jail, it's been up to me to put food on the table and pay for all of our expenses. I work at Forks Outfitters as much as I can, but it's hard. I promised my mom I would at least graduate from high school. She wanted me to go to college before it all happened, but now…"

"But that's so wrong!" Jacob cried. "Have you talked to the elders?"

"They've turned their backs on my family because of my parents."

"Yeah, but you said your mom killed Harry Clearwater's brother because he tried to rape you!"

There was a collective gasp from the adults who clearly had no idea that this was the case.

"Yes, but the Clearwaters are a powerful family. You have no idea what they can do to us. The Clearwater elder told me not to expect any help from the tribe because we were a disgrace."

"Mom, Dad!" Charlie cried at the injustice. "You guys have always said that it takes a village to raise a child. How come Gloria and her sister have to raise themselves? It's not right."

"I agree with Charlie," Quil said. "My dad always taught me that Quileutes help each other because one member's suffering is the whole tribe's suffering. I'm going to talk to my granddad and my parents. This isn't Quileute behavior at all."

Adam turned to his parents. "We have to help Gloria and her sister. This isn't right."

"It's no trouble, really. I'm a senior. I only have a few more months of school and then I can work full time during the day so I can be home for Jasmine at night."

"You really do need to help her, Grand…" Paul quickly corrected his slip, "Mrs. Lahote."

Glenda looked between, her son, grandson, and Gloria, and then sharply drew in her breath. She immediately saw the connection between the three of them. Paul had his mother's soulful eyes.

"We need to find help for the girl and her sister, Gene. This is wrong."

"Well, good, because if you weren't going to help, I was about to take her home myself," Helen stated. "I won't stand for two little girls raising themselves through no fault of their own. It's simply cruel and unjust. I'll be giving Ephraim Black an earful about this." With a more gentle expression, she turned to the girls. "The Swan house is open to you anytime—day or night," she told Gloria, running her fingers through the girl's hair. "And I want you and your sister to come to the salon tomorrow so I can fix up your hair. I can tell that you've been cutting it yourself."

"I have," she whispered, "but I can't come. I can't afford…"

"I'm not charging Jasmine or you a dime, honey. I want you to come so I can take care of you."

"Thank you," she replied with tears in her eyes.

Helen Swan pulled Gloria into a hug. "Now, now, there will be no crying. Now that we know the situation, we won't let anyone hurt you or your sister."

Gene turned to Gloria. "Why don't we go to your place and pick up your sister? Last night was the last night the two of you spent unprotected and alone. You will stay with us where you will be safe and cared for. I will have a discussion with the elders. I have a feeling that some of them were unaware of your situation."

"But Principal Lahote, I can't impose. It would be wrong. It's only for…"

"No, you are a student at my high school, but most importantly, you are a member of the Quileute Nation. An injustice has been done and a wrong has to be corrected." Gene turned to his grandson "Young man, why don't you and Adam go to Gloria's house and help her and her sister with their things. I'll be along shortly."

Paul nodded to his grandfather then told Bella. "I'll see you later."

"I'll be fine. I'm going to be cooking marinara sauce the right way, not Mrs. Crocker's way."

"That's right, honey. We'll use my recipe." Bella looked horrified at her grandmother's idea. She had her grandmother's old recipe book in the future and she never cooked from it because nothing ever came out right whenever she did. "Okay, let me get these kids home. Quil, your parents want you with us tonight until your mom can pick you up."

"Jack, why don't you come with us?" Gene offered to Jacob.

"Um, no thank you, sir. If Maile's cooking, I'm going to their place."

"Mrs. Lahote is a wonderful chef also, young man."

"Not like Maile. No one can cook like Maile." Jacob winked at Bella.

The group went their separate ways. Jake hopped into the Jeep with Charlie and Quil while Bella and Tiffany caught a ride with Mr. and Mrs. Swan.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

At nine pm, Geoff Swan walked into the cabin with Bella and Jake. They were carrying bags of groceries from Forks Outfitters. Paul, who was going over the harried events of the day with his grandfather and the elders, immediately went out to help with bags.

"Isabella, you've had quite an engaging day," Gene Lahote commented.

"I know. I got into an argument with my grandmother about whose marinara sauce was better. She threw my grandpa and me out of the house after Charlie, Jake, Quil, and Tiffany sided with me. She uses way too much oregano in her sauce. Apparently, when I said that I use my grandma's recipe, she thought I meant hers." Bella grinned. "I actually meant my other grandma."

"Thank God you brought some food home. I'm starving," Paul declared.

"How can you be hungry already?" Gene asked. "You had an entire rack of ribs for yourself at dinner."

"Wolves, particularly adolescent wolves, require triple the amount of food of a normal human boy," Ephraim explained. "If I'm not mistaken, Paul phased earlier today, meaning his metabolism is working harder than usual."

"How did you know I phased?" Paul questioned. Sam could never tell whether or not he'd wolfed out or not. Then again, Sam never paid attention to stuff like that.

"Your scent changes slightly. I will teach you when we phase together tomorrow. Levi, Quil, and I were discussing just how lacking your wolf education has been so far. You need to be schooled on the ins and outs of being a wolf."

"So that's why I've been so hungry," Jake said. "I was worried that I was becoming diabetic like my dad. I was going to ask you if I could get my A1C tested at the tribal clinic, but at least now I won't have to." His relieved face turned into a grimace at the thought of Billy. "Grandpa, what's going to happen to my dad now that he's in jail?"

Ephraim smiled at his great-grandson. "We were debating on how we should handle this, but under advisement from Gene, we decided against imprisonment and have contacted an in-patient drug rehabilitation facility in Yakima, where the boys will be driven to tomorrow. This will be their last chance to redeem themselves. If they do not, they will be excommunicated from the Quileute Tribe."

"What about the babies?"

"They are back with their mothers, who have been prohibited from contacting their husbands."

"Excuse me, but are they even capable of caring for their children? It seems to me they were perfectly aware of their husband's drug usage, yet they still left the babies with them to babysit," Paul said.

"Yeah, and I have another concern. You said that Paul's father, Quil's father, and my father were caught drinking with those three cretins. What have you done to address that issue?" Bella asked Gene.

"I can tell you that in the future, the reservation and Forks both have serious alcohol and drug addiction problems because most of the logging companies close in the nineties and jobs become scarce," Jake added. "Even if Bella's dad and my dad aren't alcoholics, they still drink a ton of beer. Out of our three dads, Charlie is the only one with a good, steady job. None of them exercise so all three of them are headed straight for heart attacks."

"We will certainly take all of that information into consideration. You children have taught us so much in a few short days. Many of our mistakes and shortcomings have been brought to the forefront. We will be making many changes in the way things are handled in our tribe, but first we need to get you kids home. The problem is, we have no idea how to get you home."

Bella plopped down a huge plate of sandwiches on the coffee table, which everyone dug into gratefully. She sat down on the floor between Jake and Paul and sighed.

"Thanks, Bella. This is way better than Emily's muffins."

"Emily's muffins?" she asked.

"Emily Young is Sam Uley's fiancée and imprint. Her idea of feeding the pack is having a constant stream of muffins on the ready at their house. I'm telling you, if I never have to eat another muffin again, I'll be happy."

"So will I get to meet Sam and Emily when we get back?"

"That's the thing. Sam has a gag order on us wolves. We're not allowed to tell you what we are—especially you. Actually, we're not even supposed to talk to you."

"Why me?"

"You're the vampire girl, that's why."

"By gag order, do you mean alpha order?" Wolf Quil asked.

"Yes, sir."

"It's interesting how Sam's alpha orders don't seem to be holding with you, especially now that you're here. You seem to be talking to Bella just fine. I'll have to think more on that. Here's the problem, like Ephraim told you, we truly don't know how to send you back to the future. Given today's eye-opening events, we thought a twister would touch down and send you back to your time, but you're still here, which means we're back to square one. We still have no idea why you're here. My theory is you will be sent back in time once you accomplish what you came here to do."

"So, what you're saying is we're stuck here?"

"Exactly, Jacob. Now, you kids get to bed. You have school in the morning."

"I'll be by to pick you kids up in the morning, sweetheart," Geoff Swan kissed his granddaughter on the forehead. Gene Lahote followed suit and did the same with Paul.

"Aw, no one's going to kiss me goodnight?" Jacob joked.

Ephraim Black gave him a peck on his head along with a warm hug. "There, now you can fall asleep. Goodnight, my grandson."

"Goodnight, Grandpa," Jacob replied, pleasantly surprised by the hug his great-grandfather had given him.

With that, the adults all left. Bella grabbed her backpack and pulled out a notebook.

"You're not seriously thinking of doing homework now, are you?" Paul asked.

"Of course I am. I hate being unprepared in class."

"Aw, crap!" He grabbed his backpack. "Now, I have to do my work." He looked up at Jacob.

"Aren't you going to do your work?"

"Nope, it's already done. Linda Collins stopped by at the Swans with my backpack. I had forgotten it in her car. She asked me if I wanted to do homework with her so I did."

"Well, if you're not doing homework, can you can do the dishes?" Bella asked.

"Sure, no problem."

"How come you didn't get your homework finished, Bella?"

"Because I had to make marinara sauce for the home economics class with Charlie and Tiffany. We each have to bring in our own jar of it. Anyway, my grandma insisted on canning it properly so it took a bit more time."

"I'm kind of glad that you haven't done your homework because I need help with my math homework."

"Did you say math?" she asked.

"Yep."

"We need Jake. I can't do math to save my life."

For the rest of the evening, the kids finished up their homework and then hung out to talk until they became tired. This time Paul didn't wait for Bella to wake up from a nightmare, he simply went to bed with her. They both slept soundly and woke up in the morning refreshed enough to face the day because it looked like they were stuck in the 80's for the time being.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

The school day on Tuesday progressed without incident. Bella and Paul headed back to the cabin because they wanted a break from all of the current strife while Jacob decided to stay after school to hang out with everyone. He loved his new school and the new kids.

"Where are Justin and Maile today?" Linda asked at the Dance Committee meeting.

"They had a ton of homework so they decided to skip the meeting. They said they're still going to help, though." Well, they didn't really, but Jacob didn't want to disappoint Linda.

"Oh, that was so nice of them. Tomorrow is going to be a big shopping day after school. We're going to have to drive to PA for supplies."

"Uh, PA?" Jacob asked. He knew perfectly well that PA stood for Port Angeles, but he just wanted to talk to this girl longer. She was so nice, so pretty. There weren't girls this nice in the future except for maybe Bella. Linda was so different from Bella. He liked Linda in a non-sister kind of way; whereas Bella was like the cool and awesome big sister that he'd always wanted because his two, real sisters were like evil witches put on this earth for the sole purpose of making his life miserable.

"Sorry, I forgot you're not from here. PA stands for Port Angeles—that's where we're going for supplies. You should bring some money with you because we usually just stop there for dinner."

"Sure, sure." He'd have to ask his grandpa for some cash for his outing.

The other kids showed up at the meeting, putting his alone time with Linda at an end. Plans were quickly finalized and the group broke up for the afternoon, leaving Jacob to his thoughts. Would it be wrong to ask her out on a date? Then again, how was he supposed to even come up with money for a date? He had no idea what to do. He decided to run back to the cabin. Paul had told him that he could get there in minutes if he ran at what he called wolf speed. He walked into the woods, then abruptly changed his plans, and decided to run to La Push instead. His thinking was always clearer in familiar surroundings.

 ** _Meanwhile…_**

Paul's gaze kept falling upon Bella. She insisted on cooking dinner, even if she didn't need to. She was so sensitive and caring. She worried about him, worried about Jacob. She worried about everyone really—like how she stood up for Tiffany Call or how she was the first to rush into help the babies in the drug den.

She was strong. He liked how she kicked Josh Uley's ass. He deserved a good ass-kicking.

She was beautiful, too. Whenever she smiled, her eyes lit up like the sun, and took his breath away. He liked talking to her. She always listened and never gave advice that wasn't warranted.

Paul liked her. She was the kind of girl that a guy could fall in love with. She was the kind of girl he could love. Aw, hell, whom was he kidding? He was in love with her already, and therein lay the problem. He was a wolf. A wolf had the possibility of imprinting. He could hurt her irrevocably if he ever imprinted. Could he do that to her? Was love a risk worth taking?

He decided to take a quick shower in order to clear his mind. He was thinking too much on this. He needed to concentrate on getting back to the future—not on finding a girlfriend.

As soon as the bathroom door closed, Bella went back to thinking. She was in trouble. Big trouble. She was in love with Paul—more so than she ever was with Nick or Edward. The problem was that Paul was unavailable. He was a shape-shifting wolf and they had mates, just like vampire had mates. If she dated Paul and he met his mate, she would die from a broken heart. She simply couldn't go through another broken heart again. She just couldn't, it wasn't worth the risk, especially now that she was back to living her life.

Oh, why? Why did this sort of thing happen to her? Why couldn't she meet a nice, normal boy who didn't happen to be a supernatural creature?

No, she couldn't risk the loss of Paul; therefore, she wouldn't get involved with him. He was strictly off limits.

With her decision made, she went back to cooking dinner. She was saved from contemplating her dilemma more when Aunt Molly showed up to the cabin looking frazzled.

"Young lady, I have been going crazy looking for you and your friends." She saw that Bella was cooking and asked, "What on earth are you doing?"

"I'm making dinner. Why?"

"Why are you making dinner?"

"So, we can eat."

"Why didn't you say anything if you were hungry?"

"Well, you work. We live at the cabin for now, and it really isn't your job to cook for us."

"Yes, but…" Molly stopped herself. "What are you making?"

"It's just about done. It's a blue cheese wedge salad and some salmon with a side of sautéed spinach."

"No rice?"

"No, we've been eating too many carbs. I promised Jake I'd cook healthy."

"He's very concerned with healthy eating, isn't he?"

"Well, he should be. His father lost use of his legs due to uncontrolled diabetes and Jake is his main caretaker. It's bad enough that the guy swills more beer than water and won't remember to take his medications unless his son reminds him. Anyway, Jake does his best to cook healthy foods, and so do I."

"I've heard you mention carbs before. What do you mean by carbs?"

"Carbs stand for carbohydrates. There are good carbs and bad carbs. Good carbs are things like leafy greens, sweet potatoes, oatmeal, brown rice, and whole grains. Bad carbs are things like potatoes, white bread, white rice, sugar, and soda. Bad carbs cause a drastic spike in insulin resulting in lack of energy. The empty calories in bad carbs store itself as fat. Carbohydrates are important to the body, but just the right kind."

"Oh, my. I never knew that."

"It's understandable. It's information that scientists discover in the future. It's also important to know that I'm not strict about practicing what I preach like Jake is. He has to be because he's his father's primary caregiver, but most of us do things in moderation. For example, I love fries and mashed potatoes, but I won't have them all the time. If I have spaghetti, I'll have regular pasta instead of the healthy stuff because I can't stomach whole wheat pasta. I like brown rice and I don't mind whole wheat bread, though. A couple of times a week, I make dessert and Jake usually comes over to my house for it because he won't keep it in his house."

"Your generation is much more conscientious about health than mine."

"I suppose so, but I think I'm more focused on it because of my mother and because of Jacob. I feel bad for him. Billy Black isn't helpless. He just chooses to be. He has use of his arms and his brain. For example, his arms seem to move enough to be able to go fishing with my father. It's like he stopped living after Aunt Sarah died in a car accident. I don't think Jacob should be responsible for his father at the expense of stunting his own growth, which it is already." She shrugged her shoulders and got back to the subject of health. "Also, regular exercise is extremely important to keep your body and mind healthy. Speaking of which, when I get back, I have to start going to the gym. No more pining for Edward and Nick. I am done with all of that. It's time for me to start living for me again," she affirmed out loud. "It's so funny, I took much better care of myself in Arizona, before I became involved with boys. I think I'll take a hiatus from relationships—maybe for my whole life. They're too complex."

"Alright, Bella. This isn't about Jacob or health. Tell me what's wrong."

"Like I said, it's too complicated."

"Fine. Then let me tell you about complicated. Complicated is when you're a white woman in love with a Quileute man at a time when it was frowned upon. It's still frowned upon, to this day, and it's 1987. We suffered discrimination from everyone: my parents, his parents, all of Forks and La Push. There were businesses that would not serve us because we were a mixed couple. They claimed it was against the Bible. Even our church wouldn't accept us. We were stubborn, though, and eventually got married. The naysayers were all proven wrong, and it has been worth all of the strife. Love isn't sweet words, romance, and being swept away. Love is hard work. It takes hard work to love someone, but it's worth every minute of it." She patted her hand. "Now, make me a plate of food. The smell is so tantalizing that I think I'll self-combust if I don't eat."

With tears in her eyes, Bella hugged her Aunt Molly, who squeezed her tightly and stroked her hair. "It stinks to be a teenager. Take it from me, I know. It'll get better, honey, I know it will." She took a good look at her niece. "Now, will you let me perm your hair?"

"No way."

She put together three plates and laid them out on the table. Paul came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, clad only in a pair of pants. He noticed Aunt Molly and said, "I should go and put a shirt on."

"Oh, no, honey. You're fine just the way you are. We Swans don't hold with all that formal nonsense. Just relax." She winked at Bella who was also enjoying the sight of his chiseled, bare chest. "Well, come on, sit down and eat, young man. The food is getting cold."

They enjoyed a leisurely meal together, Aunt Molly and Paul both praising Bella for her stellar culinary skills, which she claimed she had to learn because neither of her parents could cook. According to her, it was a survival skill. They thought it was a special talent.


	20. Chapter 20

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

The following day, during home economics class, Charlie approached Bella. "Hey, Arizona. I want to show you something," he said, plopping a large duffel bag onto a worktable. He opened it up and pulled out a white outfit.

"What do you think?"

"Is that a karate gi?"

"Yep, made it myself."

"You made it? As in you cut a pattern out of the material and put it together by sewing it?" she asked, completely amazed.

"I did." Then with a more serious expression, he said, "You asked me why I'm in this class the other day. I think I can tell you without you laughing."

"I won't laugh at you," Bella assured. "I promise."

"It's because we need costumes. My buddies and I like dressing up and performing. You know, like we did with that Michael Jackson routine? Anyway, this is my first draft of our Karate Kid costume. Ever since you kicked Josh Uley's ass, we decided that we should all learn karate. So, do you think you can teach us?"

"Uh…well, I guess I can."

"You said your dad's a cop?"

"Yeah, he is."

"Is he like Miami Vice? Does he get to wear cool suits, sunglasses, and stuff?"

"I live in Phoenix. It's all desert there. No beaches like in Miami. No, he's just a cop. He's the police chief of where I live, though."

"No kidding, really?"

"Yes, he really is the police chief."

"That's awesome. Maybe I should be a cop. My dad has a boring job. He's a forest ranger."

"He's a forest ranger in Forks?"

"Yep, he's like the Chief Forest Ranger of the Olympic National Forest's Pacific district."

"Um, I would call that impressive."

"Not really. How the heck are they supposed to use karate on a bear? All they do is shoot it with a rifle."

"Hmm…I'm very impressed by your father. I had no idea that he was the Chief Forest Ranger, that's pretty high up."

"I suppose." Charlie looked down at Bella with wide-open eyes. "So, what do you think of my karate gi?"

"I think it's awesome. I can't believe you made it yourself."

"You don't think I'm girly for sewing, do you?"

"No, some of the biggest fashion designers in the world are men. Also, surgeons sew—there are both men and women who are surgeons. I'm actually impressed that you sew."

"Impressed enough to go out on a date with me?"

"No, not that impressed. Besides, I like having you as a friend. You're attentive, you're concerned about the wellbeing of others, and you're not afraid to try new things. Never change that. One day, you'll meet the girl of your dreams and she'll wow you off your feet."

"I hope so. I really do."

"I promise you will." Bella paused, and then added. "Just…uh…if she decides to take off for her mother's house one day, follow her."

Class began before Charlie could respond to her odd advice. Bella discovered that they were sewing in today's class.

"But I've never sewn a thing in my entire life," she cried.

"Don't worry, I've got this," Charlie assured her, nodding his head.

She gave him a smile and a thumbs up in response as they both went back to paying attention to the class.

After class, Bella was walking in the hallway heading towards English class when someone abruptly yanked her into a closet. She was about to scream when a warm hand clamped over her mouth. Her abductor turned her around to face him. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized it was Paul.

"What's wrong?"

"That Karen girl has been stalking me all day. I'm not kidding. She keeps shoving her tits right into my face and she tried to grab my junk."

"Ew."

"Ew is right! Anyway, she asked me to the school dance. I told her that I was not interested. She kept insisting and I got annoyed so I sort of told her that we were dating and you'd be pissed if I took her to the dance."

"Excuse me? What if I already have a date?"

Paul became instantly jealous at hearing that. "You'd better not!"

"Why not?"

"Because…because…God damn it!" The proximity of Bella to him in the supply closet was getting to him. He couldn't have her near him—not only did she smell intoxicating, but her breasts were rubbing up against his chest and he kept wanting to feel her up.

"Well?" she asked. He never noticed how cute she was when she was angry. It was like the other day when she pulled some karate moves on Josh Uley and kicked his ass. She was cute then, too.

Unable to resist anymore, he pulled her against him and covered her lips with his. He felt sparks. Real sparks. And he never wanted to let her go.

When he finally pulled away, she put her fingers to her lips, and stared at him with concern in her eyes. Then she abruptly opened the supply closet door and ran. Paul shut the door and sunk to the floor. He had to fix this.

Bella ran out of Forks High School and into the woods. She planned on making her way to the cabin by herself. She knew it was a stupid thing to do since she had a lousy sense of direction and the woods were creepy, but she'd done dumber things in her life, so what did it matter?

So she walked.

And walked.

And walked until she found herself on Third Beach or was she on Second Beach? She didn't know. It was one of the numbered beaches.

"Where the hell were you?" Paul asked, coming up from behind her.

"I had to think."

"Yeah, well, I was worried. You just ran off. Don't do that again." He paused for a minute and drew in a breath. "I'm sorry I kissed you."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't mind. I liked it. It's not why I ran."

"Why did you run?"

"Because I'm scared, Paul. Two of the crappiest boys in the world broke up with me, each of them telling me I wasn't good enough for them. Then you come into my world and you're everything that's perfect, except for the fact that you could imprint. What if you imprint, Paul?"

"Then that's a bridge we'll have to cross when and if it happens."

"But I can't be hurt anymore. Can't you see? I'm not strong enough. I can't go through the pain anymore."

"Bella, you're my only friend. I won't let anything come between us. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Paul."

He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him, savoring the time he had with her. He couldn't lose her. He wouldn't lose her.

In the distance, Quil the Wolf watched the pair with a knowing smile. He raised his magic stick and whispered a prayer to the spirits to protect the couple and the sanctity of their love; for the coming days would prove to be tumultuous, but the rewards to be reaped would be bountiful.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

On Thursday, the kids stayed after school to decorate the gym for the school dance.

"Geez, Paul, this is such a pain. Remind me never to join the dance committee again," Bella griped as she spread glue onto a cardboard star.

"Not a problem. I'm in complete agreement with you."

He stroked her cheek softly with the back of his hand.

"Hey, none of that stuff," Charlie joked. "Hey, Arizonas, watch this." Charlie, Adam, and Quil lined up in a V formation and started performing for them. This time, they did Corey Hart's 'Sunglasses At Night' complete with dark sunglasses and upturned collars.

After they were done, Adam asked, "So, do you guys think we should do that or our Thriller routine? Quil thinks we should do DEVO again, but we did that at the last dance."

"I think you should do both," Paul suggested.

"I suppose we can, but it would involve a costume change."

"A costume change?"

"Yeah, we have costumes for each song."

"Charlie is their designer," Bella informed Paul proudly.

"That's pretty cool, dude," he replied simply, which put a smile on her father's face.

"You know? We should definitely do both," Quil agreed. "We'll do 'Thriller' and 'Sunglasses.' That way, we can save DEVO for lunch on Monday."

"Good idea."

"Oh, and Maile, you really need to have my mom perm your hair or something. It's looking pretty flat," Quil informed her.

"Uh, thank you for your advice. I'll take it into consideration."

 **XOXO**

Later that afternoon, while Paul was out getting a driving lesson from his grandfather and Bella was shopping for a dress with her grandparents, Jake went to the Ateara house with Quil, Charlie, and Adam.

"Are you sure that it's an easy job, man?" Quil asked him.

"Sure, with the four of us working, we can probably get this heap road ready tonight."

"How come you know so much about cars?"

"I've always liked tinkering with tools. Besides, I needed to get my Rabbit running back home in Arizona so I could have transportation."

"How old is your Rabbit, man?" Adam questioned.

"Uh, it's super old. It's a 1986."

"You own a 1986 Rabbit? That's like a year old! You must be rich man. What does your dad do?"

Jake's eyes widened. He was so comfortable with his new buddies that he had forgotten that he was time traveling in the past. "Did I say 1986?" When his friends nodded, he continued, "No, no, I meant 1976. I…I was dreaming of an 86 Rabbit." He quickly changed the subject, and turned to Quil. "Now, you said you've already diagnosed the problem, right?" Jake stared in awe at the 1979 Camaro Z28.

"Yep, it needs new brake pads and a new radiator. I have all of the parts. I just can't get them all in. I gave it an oil change this weekend and changed the plugs and wires. Adam can do the electrical stuff. He helped me install this rad new radio with a cassette player. Charlie sewed all the seat covers, but he can't do the mechanical stuff."

Charlie nodded his head. "My job is to make things look good."

"I'm impressed," Jake said. "This is all easy stuff. We can get this all done tonight." He was already tinkering under the hood. "Do you have any money? Because your fan belt is about to snap. It shouldn't cost too much and I can put one in right away. We should change the air and fuel filters, too, while we're working on it."

"I have some money and I'll see if my dad can spot me the rest," Quil said. "Let me go and ask him now."

"Yep, and if he does, I'll run to the store with Adam to get the stuff. That way you guys can keep working on the car," Charlie offered, and then he had a thought. "Guys! We should do a 'Greased Lightening' routine after the car is all done! Jack here can be our special guest."

"Sounds good to me," Jake said.

The boys worked hard until they got every repair done at around eleven pm. Old Quil had even come out to help with the car repairs and Aunt Molly let them all have dinner in the garage because she had to watch 'Who's The Boss, 'Growing Pains', and 'Moonlighting' without being disturbed. Afterwards, she came out to the garage with her clippers and scissors and started trimming everyone's hair. After all, there was a dance tomorrow night and they had to look spiffy. Jake was kind of happy about that because he had phased last night with Paul and the elders, and he kept tripping over his own fur. He didn't like that.

The boys all ended up spending the night at the Atearas, which was ironic because, growing up, he'd spent a lot of nights here at this house. Quil the Fifth was his best friend in the future. Oddly enough, when considering the future, he wondered how things were going to be. He had never been friends with Paul, but now that they had this shared time-traveling experience, they were buddies, and he had no doubt that they'd be close friends when they got back to their time. Would he still be friends with Embry and Quil? Jake already felt as if they had grown apart. Was this a result of his trip to the past?

 **XOXO**

On Friday, the school day passed without incident and the kids were busy getting ready for the dance. The boys were in the cabin and Bella was at the salon with her grandmother and aunt, who were doting upon her. Her grandmother had purchased a pretty, new dress for her together with a pair of heels.

They had just finished her hair and makeup and she was in the backroom trying on her dress.

"Remember, Bella, we're picking you up right after the dance in front of the school," Aunt Molly reminded her.

"Got it," she replied. "Do I really have to wear pantyhose? They're really hard to get on. People don't really wear these anymore."

"Of course you have to wear them! You won't look put together! I won't have my niece running around town looking raggedy."

"I'm not going to look raggedy. I just don't want to wear pantyhose!"

"Put the damned pantyhose on this instant, young lady! They provide an extra layer of protection against unsavory boys who try to get into your panties. You are a Swan! And Swans definitely don't run around without their pantyhose on."

"They do in my time!" Bella yelled back.

"Isabella, nylons make your legs look tan. Now, put them on," her grandmother insisted. "And you had better not be parading around town without your stockings on, young lady. And keep your panties on, too! My granddaughter is not an exhibitionist!"

"I swear! The first thing I do when I get back is get a spray tan." She stood up after she got them on and slipped into her heels.

Her grandmother zipped up her dress. "Oh, you look beautiful!" she gushed. "Peach is definitely your color."

"I agree. It goes well with your skin tone. You have my coloring," Aunt Molly said.

"She does not! She has my coloring!"

"Pardon me? Helen, are you blind, this girl is all Swan!"

"Yeah, only the bad parts."

"Swans do not have bad parts!"

"You could have fooled me."

"Oh my God! Stop arguing! I love you both!"

"Oh, she loves us!"

The two women hugged Bella who replied, "Of course I love you. Why wouldn't I? You're my grandmother and my aunt. Isn't it required that I love you? Besides, you two are the most caring, loving women I've ever had the honor of meeting."

It was true. She wished she could take her aunt and her grandmother back with her to the future. Unfortunately, by the time she had been born, they had both passed away. She would have to make the most of her time with them now. She smiled at the two of them warmly while they continued to pamper her.


	22. Chapter 22

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

"Omigod! Maile, you look so pretty," Gloria Silverwolf greeted as she approached her. "I bet Justin is going to go crazy when he sees you."

"You look fantastic, Gloria. Wow! And I love your dress."

"Thank you. Mrs. Lahote bought it for me. I tried to tell her that I didn't need it, but since she took my sister and I in, she has doted upon us as if we were her own children." She got a bit teary eyed. "She's even taking us to visit our mother on Sunday and bringing us to the mall to buy us new clothes. She has to be one of the sweetest ladies alive."

"She really is kind," Bella agreed before giving Gloria a hug. "I'm so happy things are working out for you."

"Hey, don't we get hugs, too?" Linda Collins chirped. She and Tiffany Call approached them wearing pretty dresses. Bella noticed they were all wearing pantyhose and heels. Maybe it was an 80's thing. She really missed her ballet flats at this point.

"I think we did a great job setting up for this thing."

"So do I. I like the sparkling stars we hung from the ceiling, but if I never see glitter or anything sparkly again, I'll be happy. Those were a pain in the butt," Bella admitted.

"Yeah, they were. We should force Charlie to take them all down for coming up with the idea."

"Good idea."

"Oh, there's Jack. How do I look?" Linda asked, smoothing out her pretty, red dress.

"You look beautiful! Stop worrying," Tiffany assured.

Jake and Paul approached them flanked by Adam, Charlie, Quil, and another boy—Mark Newton, who Bella would know better in the future as Mr. Newton.

"So, who is dancing with whom first?" Charlie asked.

Jake took off with Linda immediately while Adam took Gloria's hand.

"I've got dibs on Arizona," Quil said and whisked Bella away on the dance floor while Mark Newton danced with Tiffany Call.

"Guess it's just you and me, buddy," Charlie told Paul.

"I'm not dancing with you, man."

"No, but do you see those hot cheerleaders in the corner over there?"

"Yeah."

"They're going to dance with us. What girl can resist a high school quarterback and an exchange student from Arizona who rocks Billy Idol hair? Come on."

And so Charlie and Paul began their night by introducing themselves to some pretty, perhaps slightly slutty looking girls, and dancing with them.

 ** _And now for a brief intermission…_**

"Peter, are you positive this is where we found the Rabbit? I thought it was further north."

"Yeah, it was, but the bumbling idiots who left it, won't find it if we put it back where it was. Trust me when I say that this is where it's supposed to be."

"I never doubt you, my love. Your gift is not subjective like the one that twit Jasper married has. You know she's not his mate, don't you?"

"Oh, I know, but we have to let the Major make his own mistakes. Give him about thirty years and he'll come to his senses. He's a slow learner." Peter stopped running. He and his mate placed the Rabbit in a clearing in the forest beside a little used public access road. "What do you think?"

"It's a little bright. Don't you think the red paint is a bit too sparkly?"

"Charlotte, if I have to sparkle for the rest of my existence, so does this goddamned Rabbit! What idiot decided that vampires needed to sparkle in the sunlight anyway? I love the sun and now I can't even go out in it if there are people around."

"I have no idea honey, but you really did do a good deed fixing this Rabbit up."

"I know I did. The kid who owns it is very deserving. He's been taking care of his father ever since his mother died. His sisters are selfish witches. Plus, I'm doing a public service. Speaking of which, I have to leave a gift." Peter placed a mix-tape of his favorite 80's love songs in the cassette player and a box of condoms on the backseat. At the last minute, a thought came to him, and he added one more gift to the pile. "That should do it."

"You've been doing a lot of good deeds tonight, honey. You even stopped at the prison and did a public service there."

"I know, Charlotte, but that was an important stop."

"I know. I never doubt you. Shall we leave now?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, good, I want to go see that new movie Dirty Dancing."

"Sure thing, darlin'. I just have one more delivery to make at the local high school, and then we can be on our way."

"I love you, Peter."

"And I love you, Charlotte."

Hand in hand, after their stop at the high school, the two happy vampires ran through the Olympic National Forest and headed for the movies. They each had smiles on their faces, knowing they'd done a very good deed.

 ** _But the show must go on…_**

About halfway through the dance, Paul finally caught up to Bella by the punch bowl. She had, for the most part, been avoiding him since their talk on Second Beach. Paul had done his best to give her some space.

"You look beautiful." He took her hand in his. "You've been avoiding me."

"I haven't been avoiding you. I've been hanging out with the girls."

"You were dancing with every guy, but me."

"And you weren't dancing with everything with boobs?"

"Only because you weren't with me. I was trying to make you jealous."

"It worked."

"Dance with me?"

"Sure." She extended her hand to him, and let him lead her onto the floor.

"I like this song," he whispered as he swayed with her to Chicago's 'You're The Inspiration.' He dropped his forehead to hers, closed his eyes, inhaled a deep breath, and said, "I can't do this anymore, Bella. I can't pretend as if you don't exist. We've been tiptoeing around each other since Wednesday and I don't like it. What's going to happen when we get back to the future? Are we…"

"Hey, Justin," Karen purred. "Why don't you switch partners with me? He doesn't want to dance with you," she snipped to Bella before turning her attention back to Paul again, "I'll make sure you won't regret it. I can take you places where you've never been?"

"I thought they only said stuff like that in songs," Bella whispered in Paul's ear, causing him to chuckle.

"So, come on. I can blow your mind."

"Again with the song lyrics."

Paul chuckled because Bella was right about Karen's corny lines. He cleared his throat, looked at the pushy girl, and said, "Uh, no. You're a little too fast for me. Relationships aren't all about sex."

"Jesus! What the hell is your problem?" She motioned to her body. "Don't you want this? I'm giving _this_ all to you."

"Leave him alone, Karen," Gloria ordered.

"Gloria, shut up! I know your secret, remember?"

"It's no secret anymore. Everyone knows what Michael Clearwater tried to do to me and what my mother did to protect me."

"You should have just slept with him. He was a good connection."

"Seriously? Is that all you think about? Weed and sex?" Adam asked. "I heard the whole story. Michael attacked Gloria while she was sleeping in her bed, in her house. That's attempted rape. I give kudos to Mrs. Silverwolf for shooting him dead."

Karen scowled and tugged on her current dance partner's arm, "Come on, Mark, let's get out of here."

Mark snatched his arm away and put his hands up. "You know something? You really aren't the girl I thought you were. You're pretty, but inside you're a really ugly person. I don't want anything to do with you."

She glared at the kids who were all staring her down with fierce eyes. "Fine. You guys aren't worth my time anyway."

"Good riddance!" Gloria called after her. She took Adam's hand and the pair disappeared somewhere.

"I hate admitting this, but my parents were right about her. They said she was bad news. They weren't kidding," Mark Newton spat in disgust before taking off in a different direction.

"That was some drama," Paul stated. "I'm pissed at her. She interrupted our dance."

"I think I've had enough of this dance. Let's get out of here."

"I thought you'd never ask." He put his arm around her and gently pulled her to his side as they walked together into the forest. A minute later, he was running with her in his arms.

A few minutes into his run, when he was deep into the woods, he ran smack dab into Jake's Rabbit.

"Oomph!" Bella cried as she flew out of his arms and into the backseat of the convertible.

"Sorry!" Paul hopped into the backseat next to her and pulled her onto his lap. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. What happened?"

"Obviously, I ran into Jake's car?"

"But how?" Bella peered over the side and noticed the sparkly, red paint. "How the heck can you miss this thing? The paint job looks like Dorothy's shoes from the Wizard of Oz."

"Maybe a vampire painted it," Paul joked. The pair of them had a good laugh together until he asked, "Is this even Jake's car? I don't remember it having sparkly red paint on it—or even a new coat of paint."

"Or leather seats." Bella climbed into the front seat and opened the glove box. She pulled out the registration. "Yep, this is definitely Jacob's car, at least according to the registration. Plus, I recognize his key chain." She jingled it. "See, it's a Pirates of the Caribbean lanyard. It's his favorite movie."

"I noticed. He gave himself the name Jack Sparrow, while we're stuck with Justin Beaver and Maile Cyrus. What kind of idiot leaves his key in the ignition?" Paul questioned.

"Give the kid the benefit of the doubt. We were working on his car when we were swept away by the twister. He was probably too freaked out to think about his keys."

"It's plausible." Paul nodded his head. "I was freaked out, too."

"I was, too," she admitted. "I'd better start the engine up for him." She turned the key. The engine purred to life and the romantic mixed tape started playing.

Bella returned to her previous position on Paul's lap and snuggled into him.

He stroked her legs softly. "What the hell are you wearing on your legs?"

"Pantyhose. My aunt and grandma insisted."

"I was wondering why your legs looked so tan."

She made a mental note to make an appointment for a spray tan as soon as she got back to the future. She had no idea if they even had them in Forks, but she didn't care. She'd drive all the way to Seattle if she had to. This all hinged on them getting back, though.

"I like you here. This is nice," he whispered, gently tracing her fingers with his own. "I don't want to go back. My life is so much better here, even if I have to go through life with a screwed up alias. At least here, I have family who care about me, friends who are decent and kind, and…and you. When we go back, what if Sam gives me an alpha order to never see you again? It would kill me. Then there's my dad. He's so drunk that… When I think of how he is now and what he's going to become, I can't handle going back, Bella. I can't."

She turned her face up to look earnestly into his eyes. "I swear on this earth, Paul, I won't allow them to not let you see me. I've been doing some thinking these last two days and I came to a conclusion, you and I just fit together. Something about us just fits. Does that make sense? Whenever I'm with you, I feel as if it's no longer gravity holding me to the planet—it's you. Nothing matters but you. I tried to ignore you for the last couple of days, but it was physically painful for me, it's like there's a lasso pulling me to you and telling me that this is how it's supposed to be."

Paul was stunned. Bella had described imprinting to a T. She had used almost the same words that Sam had used when describing the phenomenon. For the most part, Paul also felt the same way as Bella had, but that jaw dropping first moment was missing; otherwise, it was exactly the same. It hurt him physically when she wasn't with him, even when she was just a couple of doors down in a different classroom. When she was trying to ignore him, it hurt him—it literally pained him in the chest. He thought his life force was leaving him. Something was tying them to each other.

He came to a conclusion. "You complete me, Bella."

On a whim, she decided to kiss him. He immediately deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around her tight, trying to convey that he would never…could never let her go. It occurred to him then that he was master of his own feelings and nothing Sam said mattered, especially when it came to Bella.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

Jacob was still at the dance with Linda, albeit not in the gym. They were under the football bleachers on a blanket, kissing each other. Actually, kissing would be the wrong term to use. They were in a full-blown make out session and Jacob was about to lose his virginity. All he had to do was roll on his condom.

Speaking of condoms, he had a lucky encounter earlier in the bathroom. There was a blond maintenance manwith a friendly smile, mopping the floors using bleach, who handed him a box of condoms. He was very wise, even if he was a bit cryptic. Jacob recalled the bathroom incident.

 _"Son, you'll need these tonight."_

 _"I will?"_

 _"Oh, yes, you will. I've seen many kids throughout the years make the mistake of not having these, and end up with big, lasting consequences. Have fun using them, but remember: she needs to stay here, you have your own home. Oh, and here. You can have this blanket."_

 _"So, I should just say goodbye at the dance? I shouldn't walk her home or anything?"_

 _"No, you shouldn't. Just cuddle with her for a bit, and then kiss her goodbye."_

 _"Sure, sure. Thank you, Mr…"_

 _"Whitlock. I'm Mr. Whitlock."_

 _"Thank you, sir. I'm going to get back to my girl. That bleach you're doing the floors with is burning my nostrils."_

 _"Good luck to you. Remember son, safe sex!"_

Jake gazed into Linda's eyes and chuckled as he remembered the friendly maintenance man.

"Jake, are we going to try…you know."

"Yeah, we are, because I can't imagine sharing this moment with anyone else."

"Neither can I," she breathed.

And the couple made love under the bleachers and Jacob finally figured out all that he was missing out on. The first thought he had, as he came for the very first time inside of a girl was, _"No wonder Paul likes to have sex so much!"_

 **XOXO**

By now, the couple in the Rabbit were lying horizontally on the backseat. Their clothes had been shed long ago and Paul was currently rolling on a condom from the brand new box he had found on the backseat.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I'm positive. You're the only one for me, Paul."

"I'll go slow," he said as he kissed her on the lips and positioned himself at her entrance. "I love you. You know that, right?"

"I do. I love you."

They made love underneath the stars. Paul whispered words of endearment to her, and meant every word, as he caressed her body and cared for her like no other ever would. He loved her and only her.

Bella, too, put her heart and soul into expressing her love to Paul. She needed him to know how much she truly loved him. She wanted him to know that he was it for her. No one else would do.

He'd had sex before, but this was different—this was love. Her skin felt warm and soft against his and he felt as if he was becoming one with her with each touch, each caress. Her soft hands stroked his back. She was inexperienced, but she was doing her best to love him, and he loved that about her. As he quickened his pace, he felt the spirits encouraging him to make Bella his. Everything felt perfect. It was as if the stars were aligned for this moment and this moment only, and when he finally reached his peak, his protective wolf instincts took over. He tilted her head slightly, exposing her neck, and he sunk his teeth into her flesh—marking her as his, making her his own.

Paul released his teeth and bathed her wound with his tongue. Eventually, he sat up and pulled her up with him. He covered her with his dress shirt so she wouldn't get cold, snuggled up with her, and fell asleep.

 **XOXO**

The wind shifted as the dance came to a close. Jake kissed Linda goodbye and promised they would see each other over the weekend as he saw her to her mother's car. A few minutes later, Helen, Glenda, and Molly pulled up at the curb to pick him up.

"How was the dance, sweetheart?" Helen asked.

"Oh, it was mind blowing," he replied, thinking of his lost virginity.

"Where are Bella and Paul?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen them all night."

They decided to wait there for them, but after about a half hour of waiting, and no sign of them, Jake went inside with Glenda to search for them.

"They aren't there," Glenda fretted, breathless. "I put a call into the elders, just in case."

"Maybe they went back to the cabin," Jake suggested.

"Even if they did, it was irresponsible of them not to tell us. I am going to give both of them a firm talking to as soon as I see them."

"Oh, my grandbaby is grounded. She is going to find out exactly how strict her grandmama can be. I am so angry with her," Helen fumed.

"It's wonderful that the two of you are thinking of ways to make your grandchildren miserable, but shouldn't we look for them?" Molly asked.

"Good point, I get carried away when I'm worried."

"Well, let's find them first. This wind is picking up and it's giving me the shivers."

Aunt Molly started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. Hopefully, they'd find the kids soon.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

Bella's eyes popped open as the wind began picking up. Even with Paul's body heat protecting her, it was still cold. She quickly slipped her dress and the matching sweater back on, in hopes that they would give her extra protection from the elements. She didn't bother with the uncomfortable pantyhose. She left them balled up on the floor of the Rabbit.

She nudged Paul awake. "What is it, baby?"

"It's cold. Can we go back to the…"

"Well, well, what have we here?" a familiar, chilling female voice sneered.

"Oh, look, it's two little, human teenagers," a male voice with a Jamaican accent added.

"Fuck!" Paul cursed as he looked up at the three bloodsuckers: a Rastafarian in a suit, a flaming redheaded chick, and a blonde dude with a man-bun, all of whom were leering at Bella as if she was a one-of-a-kind dessert. They surrounded the car as if they were wild animals moving in for the kill. He put his arm around his girl and pulled her closer to him.

"God, damn it! Not you three assholes again! Am I ever, in my lifetime, going to get rid of you?" She shook her head. "Just when things are getting good in my life, you fuckers have to come in and ruin it for me."

The three bloodsuckers turned to each other with confused expressions on their faces. Bella lifted up her wrist to show Paul her vampire bite. He understood immediately.

A car engine rumbled to a stop right behind the Rabbit. Of course, this was on the way to the cabin. It wasn't a well-traveled road, but a public road nonetheless.

Helen Swan came bounding out of the station wagon. "Where the goddamned hell were you, young lady? When I tell you to meet me in front of the high school after the dance, you do it! You don't…" She got an eyeful of Paul's naked form, the rolled up nylons, and the open box of condoms. "Were you having sex?"

Glenda Lahote gasped and angrily put her hands on her hips. "In public, too! What happened to modesty?" She turned to Paul. "Young man, when I tell you to be somewhere at a certain time, it doesn't give you leave to take off whenever you damned well please without any notification to anyone! I told you that we'd be picking you up at the dance and you just went off and disappeared to have sex with your girlfriend. Shame on you!"

"You two are grounded! Both of you are grounded! Is that understood?" Aunt Molly added. "How dare you disrespect us?"

Meanwhile, Jacob got out of the station wagon, put on his signature smile, and introduced himself to the three vampires. "Hi, I'm Jack Sparrow. Do you go to Forks High, too?"

Bella stared with her mouth agape at her friend, while Paul simply shook his head in disbelief. Jake may actually be too friendly to be a wolf or too slow—one of the two. Didn't he notice their blood red eyes?

"Young lady, I want answers and I want answers now!" her grandmother shouted angrily.

Meanwhile, Aunt Molly came to realize what the three strangers were and tried to get everyone back into the station wagon.

Jake, on the other hand, was staring at his Rabbit. "Cool. It has a new paint job and the engine is running. I wonder how this happened?"

"You know it was wonderful getting to know you, but I'm getting ravenous. Luckily, we have a bountiful meal in front of us to satisfy our appetites," the blond male vampire drawled with a contemptuous curl of his lip.

"Oh, fuck you, James! I'm getting sick and tired of your stupid games. Seriously? How long have you been playing them? Months? Years? Centuries?" Bella asked.

"How do you know my name?" When Bella didn't reply, he shouted. "How?"

"Answer him, human!"

"Aren't you sick of being his little lapdog, Vicky?" Bella chuckled. "I know how he's going to play the game. He's going to give us a head start, and then take us down one by one. He thinks he's being funny, but in actuality, he's a raving lunatic. What? Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?"

"I don't know who you are or how you know about us, but you will tell us now!" The redhead's eyes were wide in a combination of fear and anger. Her nostrils were flared and her teeth bared in anger as she crouched down low in an attack position. "Who told you about us?" Victoria demanded.

" _Pfft._ Wouldn't you like to know?"

Bella then turned to the Rastafarian, "Are you going to just stand there and act all innocent, Laurent? I know you're just as bloodthirsty as your two buddies here. Jasper felt the bloodlust and deceit radiating off of you before the Cullens sent you to Alaska."

Paul kept his eyes on the three vampires. They were having a stare down. The redhead was the same one that his pack, back in the future, had been chasing down for months. He was sure of it by her scent. She had been coming in and out of Forks and La Push since the Cullens left. She was a tough one to kill, but if he could get rid of her, many lives on the Olympic Peninsula would be saved.

He had to make his move. The redhead was going to snap soon. He sensed the presence of the three elder wolves nearby and knew they'd heard everything. Bella was smart. She was feeding him information while taunting the vampires. It was time. He kissed his girl soundly on her lips and whispered that he loved her. After one last look at the love of his life, he abruptly jumped out of the backseat and phased on the fly, landing on the redhead, and instantly severing her head from her body.

He heard the creepy man-bun vampire scream, "Noooo! Victoria!"

The elder wolves thundered to the scene to help. James and Laurent got into attack position. The wolves circled around them.

"Jacob!" Bella hissed. "Jacob!"

"What?" he asked with a terrified expression on his face.

"You should probably phase and help them."

"Uh…okay," he whimpered, shaking in fear. He had no idea how to help them. All he knew was that he was scared.

"You can do this, Jake. I have faith in you. You just have to overpower them, then decapitate them."

Suddenly, Ephraim Black tripped over his long fur, giving the vampires the opening they needed. Laurent quickly grabbed the old wolf by the torso, but before he could crush him, Jake—fearing for his grandfather's life—had phased and kicked him away. Paul caught the Rasatafarian and made quick work of dispatching him. He gnawed his head off while Levi Uley separated his legs from his torso.

Unfortunately, the other wolves became distracted and James took the opportunity to grab Helen Swan and moved her to the center of the circle.

"Stop! I'm ordering you to stand down!" James cried. "I'm going to tear this bitch limb from limb, and then I'm coming for you," he hissed to Bella, and then turned to Paul. "You killed my mate. I'm going to destroy yours! And I'm not going to kill you either. You're going to suffer just like me!"

Bella had to think quickly in order to save her grandmother. She had to distract James long enough so that her grandma had ample time to run. It occurred to her that the story she had been told while growing up—that her grandmother was killed in a car accident along with two other women when her father was still in high school—was a cover. Helen, Glenda, and Molly had been killed in a vampire attack.

She hated herself for having dated Edward Cullen more than ever now. She had dishonored her grandmother's memory by doing that, but no more. She was going to change that by saving her grandmother's life, and she knew exactly how.

Bella spotted a Swiss Army Knife on the floor of the Rabbit. She reached down to pick it up and flipped it open. She turned to Jacob, put her hand over her heart, and gave him a warm smile. "Mud Pies," she mouthed to him. "Stay strong, Jakey."

Next, she met Paul's big pleading eyes and whispered, "I love you," to him. Paul shook his head wildly, desperate for her not to do what he suspected she was going to do.

She took a deep breath and faced the vampire. "Oh, James, I have something here for you," she taunted. "Come on. Take a whiff. I know you like it. I know that my blood smells particularly appetizing to you."

James shook his head and hung onto Helen who yelled, "Save yourself, baby! Please! I've lived my life!"

"Come on, James," Bella encouraged. She took the blade and sliced down her arm. "Do you want a taste?"

The vampire's nostrils flared and his eyes widened as the fragrant bouquet of her blood tempted him.

"No, Bella!" Aunt Molly begged. "Don't do this!"

"Oh, Bella, please! No!" Glenda cried."Please don't do this, honey!"

"You know you want me. I want you to want me," she purred seductively, channeling her best impression of Jessica Rabbit. She sliced again. This time the cut was deeper and the blood flowed freely to the ground. "You don't want all of this delicious blood to go to waste, do you?" Bella was holding her breath in. The rusty smell of the blood was nauseating. She felt like fainting, but she had to keep at it. She could tell that the vampire's resolve was weakening.

Another drop hit the floor. James inhaled again and his face took on an expression of ecstasy. As if in a trance, the vampire dropped Helen Swan onto the forest floor, and began a slow walk towards Bella, who had collapsed into the backseat of the Rabbit. At the same time, Paul dove onto the vampire and clamped his jaw down on his neck. Jake came to assist and between the two of them they were able to destroy the vampire.

He caught sight of Quil Ateara in human form, waving his magic stick around, chanting in ancient Quileute while dancing.

"Bella!" Helen, Molly, and Glenda screamed simultaneously. Paul looked up to see his love being whisked away by the twister along with Jake's Rabbit.

He quickly returned to human form and tried to follow Bella, but a second twister touched down and whisked Jacob and him away. He tried to hold onto his friend, but the force of the tornado was too powerful, and they became separated. It was the last thing he recalled before losing consciousness.


	25. Chapter 25

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

 ** _Jacob_** ** _…_**

"Jacob? Jacob, honey, wake up," a sweet, soothing voice nudged him awake. He was sleeping on something hard, possibly the ground.

"Linda?" he called lazily, recalling the best part of the previous evening—the part where he lost his virginity to the most amazing girl in the world. Memories of the rest of the night came flooding back to him. The three evil vampires, Paul almost single handedly destroying them all, and Bella sacrificing her life for the sake of everyone else left him feeling downtrodden and depressed.

"And just who is Linda?" the same voice asked, this time in a perturbed manner.

Jacob shot up, but bumped his head on something metal. "Ow!" he yelped. Clearly, he was in a coffin, located in a strange version of hell. He had not survived the twister after all.

"Oh, honestly." Two soft hands rolled him into a more open space. That's when he realized that he'd been sleeping on a car creeper underneath his Rabbit—his still glittery, newly-restored Rabbit.

"Really, honey, you need to sleep in your own bed. Working into the wee hours of the night is unhealthy. Anyway, how much more work can you possibly do on your car? It's perfect, regardless of what your father thinks of the sparkly paint job."

"M…M…Mom?" a horrified Jacob asked because the last time he was back in his time; his mother had been dead for many years—killed in a freak car accident when his father still had use of his legs. He had picked her up from work, lost control of the wheel, and slammed into a tree. His mother had died on impact. Now that Jacob knew the truth of his father's past, it occurred to him that Billy must have been drunk or stoned when the collision happened, and the truth had been hidden from him.

But now she was here—alive and well. She looked the same, but slightly older than he remembered her. He reached out to touch her pretty hair and clasped her hand to make sure it was really her.

"Oh, Jacob, what am I going to do with you?" Sarah hugged her son. "Now, get ready. We need to drive to Sequim to buy you some back-to-school clothes and get some groceries in. I can't believe my baby boy is going to be a junior already."

"But…but…how…I mean…can't I stay here?"

"No, you do not have permission to put this off again. Your clothes are beginning to look threadbare and it's time to go."

"But…but…"

"Now, go to your room and get dressed," she ordered firmly.

A dazed Jacob stood up. He looked around the well-appointed garage and then at his mother before he walked into his house. He did a double take. The house was the same, yet different. The interior walls were freshly coated with paint and the musty wall-to-wall carpeting was gone; in its place was recently re-finished hardwood flooring. The kitchen itself looked newer and updated as well.

He opened the door to his bedroom then promptly closed it because the room he saw could not possibly be his. He didn't remember any of the stuff in the room except for the family photo from when he was three years old.

"Son, aren't you dressed yet?" his father asked, walking—yes, walking with his own legs—towards him. Jake took a good look at his father. He was standing tall and he looked buff. He was voluntarily eating a carrot stick. "Your mother told me that you fell asleep under your car. There'll be no more of that. You're to sleep in your bed from this point on. And who is Linda?"

"I don't know," he replied because he couldn't possibly explain who Linda was. "I was probably just talking in my sleep." That's it! He had his excuse. "I had an erotic dream!" he announced proudly.

"Boy, I don't need to hear about your dreams. I know teenagers get them. I sure had my share of them. Well, you know how overprotective your mom is. She can't fathom the idea of you meeting girls. Now, go to your room and get dressed. It's Saturday and the 101 is going to be busy. There's some tofu scramble and veggie patties ready for you in the microwave."

 _Tofu scramble and veggie patties? That sounded unappetizing as all hell._

"Do you want me to press some juice for you?"

"Sure, sure," he replied. Jake loved juice. It was a treat because they rarely had it due to his father's diabetes.

"I'll make your favorite—the one with kale, parsley, ginger, and lime."

 _Kale, parsley, ginger, and lime?_ That didn't sound like juice. Jake was pretty sure he just threw up in his mouth. "Uh, Dad, can we add a little fruit to it or something?"

"Feeling a little piqued, huh? It's probably from sleeping underneath your car. I hope you've learned your lesson about taking your health for granted. A proper night's rest is vital to your health." Billy shook his head at his son. "I'll add some pineapple to it. That should help with whatever inflammation you have going on. Now, get ready."

Jacob flew into his room and shut the door. That was not his father, was it? It looked like him, but he sure didn't act like him. For Christ's sake, his father just lectured him about not taking his health for granted! Since when did his father care about his health?

He looked around his room and his jaw dropped. He started hyperventilating. His room was in the same place, but it was larger. There were posters of cars lining the walls and a laptop computer sitting on his desk. His desk? When had he ever had a desk? He was used to working on the dining table.

Just where in hell did he land? He was pretty sure he was in the future, but exactly what future? He had to just go along with whatever his parents told him because he needed answers. Clearly, he had landed in some sort of alternate future, but was he the only one here? Where were Bella and Paul?

 ** _Paul…_**

The sunlight filtered in from between the blinds, nudging Paul awake. He took a deep cleansing breath. Last night had been a disaster. Bella, his beautiful, headstrong, selfless Bella had lured the vampire to her, by slicing her arm and drawing blood, in order to save her grandmother. While it gave him the opportunity to destroy the evil vampire, he didn't have a chance to get to Bella. She had collapsed from her blood loss and subsequently been sucked away by a twister. She was long gone before Jake and he would have been able to get to her. Besides, they were also swept away by a twister as soon as they destroyed the vampire. In any case, there was no way she would have survived the twister, especially in her injured state.

His heart hurt, and he wanted to cry. He loved her, but she was no more. Paul let out a deep breath, he had to join the living again. She would want that. He forced himself to open his eyes and then blinked a few times. Where was he? The room he was in was clean and put together. On top of that, he realized he was sleeping in an actual bed instead of a mattress on the floor. The mattress on the bed was comfortable and there were clean sheets on it—Spiderman Sheets. Cool! Paul loved Spiderman. Apparently, so did this guy because there were several Spiderman posters on the wall and a Spiderman sticker on the laptop on the desk. The desk was well organized. There was a tin of pens and pencils off to the side and a Seattle Mariner's baseball cap lying haphazardly to the side of the tin.

To the right, there was a large balcony overlooking a well-kept lawn. There was a sofa in the room as well as a large flat screen TV and a gaming system. The kid who lived in this room was one lucky guy. Paul had never seen such a well-stocked room. It even had its own private bathroom.

Paul swung his legs off of the bed and his feet hit the hardwood floor beneath him. He was clad in Spiderman pajama pants. He sighed. He needed to thank the people who had housed him. After using the bathroom, he took one last look around and left the room.

Geez. Whomever this house belonged to had money—loads of money. The house looked like it belonged in some sort of architectural magazine. There was a long, curved staircase leading to the foyer, which had a crystal chandelier hanging from it. There were tons of windows letting in plenty of natural sunlight. Glancing around at the splendor of the house, Paul wondered for a moment if he should have borrowed a shirt to put on. He heard some voices and walked towards it. He ended up in the kitchen.

"Oh, um, good morning," he said, amazed at the sight of the stately kitchen. He hadn't taken a look at the people in the room yet. He was just blown away by the kitchen, which was bigger than his whole house.

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

Paul's eyes bulged out. Flipping pancakes at the stove was his father—his very sober, clean-shaven father. His mother had just retrieved a jug of orange juice from the enormous refrigerator.

"Mom? Dad?" Paul questioned because he was confused and terrified at the same time.

"What is it, son?"

"N…Nothing." He leaned up against the kitchen island completely bewildered.

"Honey, do you want orange juice or cranberry juice this morning?" his mother asked.

Cranberry juice. He loved cranberry juice. He had it for the first time in the 80's at his grandpa's house and he chugged down the entire jug by himself.

"I'll take cranberry juice," he replied.

"That's what I thought." His mother closed the refrigerator door and set the juices down on the table. She walked over and gave Paul a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, Paul, take the pancakes over to the table so I can get started on the bacon," his father directed.

"Oh, sure."

When he took the plate from him, his father asked, "Did you sleep well?"

"I did."

"Good, I want you to start getting to bed at a decent hour. Mom and I are going to set a curfew and we expect you to follow it. There will be no more cavorting around town until late at night like last year. School starts back up on Tuesday and this is a huge year. All of the colleges will be looking at this year's grades in particular. I know that it's going to be tough starting at a new school, but you can do it. I have faith in you."

His father gave him a kiss on top of his head. "Now get a good breakfast in you. Mom wants us to tackle that monstrosity of a lawn today."

"I can do it," he offered.

"That's ridiculous. I know you're a wolf and stronger than your old man, but I'm not going to make you mow three acres of lawn by yourself."

"Adam?"

"Yes, Gloria?"

"You're the one who insisted on buying that ridiculous ride-on mower instead of hiring the landscaping company."

"Honey, the ride-on mower was…"

"Yes, yes, a fraction of the cost of hiring a landscaper over time. I get it. You wanted your new toy." She chuckled and kissed his father on the lips. "I love you, Adam."

"I love you, Gloria."

His mother whispered to Paul, "I give him two weeks before he realizes that he's overwhelmed. I kept the number for the landscaper just in case."

Paul sat down at the table completely and utterly confused.

Exactly, where the hell was he? And who were these people masquerading as his parents?

 ** _Bella_** ** _…_**

Bella was in the midst of a nightmare, a complete and hellish nightmare—she was sure of it.

She was trapped in the backseat of a car, most likely Jake's Rabbit, with two other occupants who were driving her to God only knew where. She was terrified of opening her eyes, worried about what she'd see, who she'd see.

 _"Like a virgin, touched for the very first time,"_ a man and a woman crooned together. _"Like a vir…ir…ir…ir…gin, when your heart beats next to mine."_

Great. Clearly she was still stuck in the 1980's and trapped in a car with vampires. James must have destroyed the wolves, drained the humans, and put Victoria back together. She opened only one eye and caught a flash of curly, red hair. Yep, the dastardly duo had definitely abducted her. What would become of the future? How was she ever to return? Could she go back? Was she still human?

She put her hand over her heart. It was still beating. She sighed. So she was to be tortured. Resolved to her fate, she opened her other eye just as the song changed on the radio. _"You'_ _re insecure, don_ _'t know what for, you're turning heads when you walk through the door…"_ James belted out the familiar tune. Wait a second! That was One Direction.

 _"Oh, God!"_ she thought, _"I've brought James and Vicky back to the future with me!"_

She abruptly sat up.

The passenger immediately noticed and asked, "Did you have a good nap, sweetie?"

"Uh, yes," Bella replied tentatively to her mother, peering suspiciously around the cabin of the vehicle.

"Ooh, Charlie! Stop at that Starbucks over there. I have to pee!"

At least she hadn't brought James and Vicky back to the future with her, but what were her parents doing together? They couldn't stand each other!

"Sure thing, honey. I could use a pit stop myself." Her father parked the vehicle, turned the engine off, and opened the rear door for her. "Come on, Bells, we've been cooped up in the car since we left Seattle this afternoon. Let's get some circulation going in our legs."

Bella gulped and didn't say anything or move. She wasn't certain if she was awake or not. She took a look at her father. He had no mustache, had a tan, and was dressed in Bermuda shorts, a Lacoste polo, and Sperry Top-Siders. Where the hell were his drab flannel shirts?

Her mother looked the same as always, but her hair color was redder than normal. Clearly, she had been playing around with drug store hair products per her usual creative self. Renee bolted to the bathroom as soon as the car came to a stop.

"Aw, come on, kiddo. Are you still upset about that Nick boy?"

Nick? No she was more concerned about Jake and Paul. She absent-mindedly reached for the back of her neck. She felt tiny indentation marks from where Paul had marked her last night. The thought of losing Paul devastated her. She rubbed her hands over her face.

Her father reached in to grab her from the SUV. He gave her a big hug. "Shit happens in a relationship and sometimes, you've got to just let it go." He paused for a second, grinned, then started crooning, _"Let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore!"_

"Oh my God!" Bella cried, horrified. "Dad! This is a public parking lot! People are watching!"

 _"Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door!"_ he slammed the door to the SUV dramatically for effect.

"Okay, okay, let's go and get some iced coffee!"

"That's my little girl." He put his arm around her. "Hey, if we get to the counter before your mother gets out of the bathroom, we can order our iced coffees with caffeine in them. What do you say?"

"I say let's get in there quick. Maybe the caffeine will wake me up."

"You're daddy's girl through and through, Bells."

Still confused, but worried her father was going to break out into a musical number again, Bella followed him into Starbucks. She needed answers and the only way she was going to get them was by waiting and watching to see how things went.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

 ** _And the story continues…_**

"Ooh, honey, there's the Hoh Rainforest. I can't wait to go hiking there," Renee chortled excitedly as they drove on the 101 towards Forks.

"Neither can I," Charlie replied. "We can go kayaking down the Hoh River, too. I wonder if Newton's still does rentals?"

"It's going to be so much fun living here!"

Bella arched an eyebrow at Renee. "Mom, Forks is really small. You like big cities."

"Isabella, it doesn't matter how big or small the town is. It's what you make of it. There are lots of exciting things to do here. Besides, living with Daddy and you is an adventure. Just to keep the two of you in line is a full time job in and of itself."

"Hey, Bells and I aren't that bad!" Charlie protested.

"Charlie, it was just yesterday that we were practically thrown out of the EMP museum because you didn't want to leave the Live Band Karaoke stage and give the other children a chance to try it out. And just before that, Bella took off from the Seattle University college tour without telling us because she had seen a cool store on the walk up from the Sheraton. Do you know what it was like to have a missing daughter on a college tour, Isabella Marie Swan? You made a poor impression on the administration. All the other kids managed to stay with their parents except for you."

"Well, she's not going there anyway, Renee. That place is a madhouse."

"Oh, I know. Why do you think I was so worried when I realized Bella wasn't with us? I thought she had been kidnapped."

"You can definitely cross Seattle off from your list of potential towns to go to college in, young lady."

"Uh, sure," Bella replied and stared at her parents with an odd expression. Since when did they have such a vested interest in her education?

Between the Port Angeles Starbucks and Forks, Bella had deduced that her parents had never gotten divorced, her dad drove a brand-new, full sized, Lexus SUV, and they were moving back to Forks, Washington from Phoenix, Arizona, where they had lived since she was born. Oh, yeah, and her parents were really lovey-dovey with each other. She had never seen her father so attentive and her mother so caring. That was it. That's all she knew about her new life, meaning she was just as confused as earlier. She did like the nifty new iPhone and iPad she found in her tote bag, though. She tried them both out. Her password and email were the same as before—so was her cell phone number. She also liked all the makeup in the pouch she carried, but since when did she start carrying makeup around with her? She only wore makeup on special occasions. She had never been so vain.

Suddenly, she had a thought. She scrolled through her contacts in her iPhone to find Jake, but he wasn't in there. She knew Paul wouldn't be in there because she didn't meet him until 1987. God! That sounded so weird. So much for her brilliant idea. Nick and Sophia were still among her contacts so she quickly deleted their numbers because they weren't worth keeping as friends.

"Well, here we are, Bells. Home sweet home. What do you think?" her father asked.

The house looked the same to her except for a new paint job and better landscaping, but who was she to say anything? She couldn't possibly tell them that she knew this house inside and out. For God's sake, it was just a week ago that she had dusted the entire house from top to bottom, mopped all the floors, and wiped the countertops because if she hadn't done it all, her father sure as hell wouldn't have gotten to it.

"Come on, Bells. You haven't seen the house since we bought it. We thought it was a good size. It's going to need some TLC, but it's in a great, safe location and it has really good bones. The previous owners just replaced the roof and the siding last year. We had new hardwood floors put in, the painting done, and the kitchen gutted and updated over the summer. We also had new windows put in. They were original from when the house was built so they needed to be replaced. In fact, the window in your room didn't even lock."

"It's good that you had the windows put in. I wouldn't want any creepy weirdos sneaking into my bedroom at night to watch me sleep," Bella replied, thinking of Edward.

"Honestly, Bella, if someone was sneaking into your room at night to watch you sleep, that person would be a sociopath and would need to be put behind bars," her mother pointed out.

"Very true." Bella nodded her head agreeing with her mother. Edward really was a sociopath.

"Now, what do you think of the house?"

Before, Bella could respond, a familiar voice said, "If you don't like it, you can always live with Grandpa and me."

"Grandma!" Bella ran excitedly into Helen's open arms. She hugged her tightly. "I love you so much."

Her grandmother had tears in her eyes as she stroked her cheek. "And I love you." And then she whispered. "You're still grounded for leaving that dance without saying anything." She grinned at Bella's wide eyes.

"Oh, pumpkin, it's good to see you," her grandfather said, giving her a bear hug, and then in her ear whispered, "Thank you for saving your grandmother's life."

"Well, Renee, our job is done. No more raising Bella. My parents are apparently going to take over from here. We won't even have to pay for college."

"Oh, Charlie, stop joking! You'll make our baby feel unwanted," Renee said, kissing Bella on the cheek, then hugging Helen and Geoff. "Thank you for overseeing the renovations."

"It wasn't a problem. We're just glad to have you home." Helen ran her fingers through Renee's hair. "You need a haircut."

"Yes, I know. I waited so you could do it."

"I'll do it for you this weekend, honey. I'll even spruce up that horrible hair color for you. That shade of red is much too bright for your skin tone. Be honest, did you use that Nice 'n Easy again?"

Her mother grimaced. "No, I used the hair color that they had at the dollar store."

"Oh my God! Mom!" Bella cried. "Why? You probably stripped your hair of all its keratin!"

"The color looked nice on the box and I wanted to see if it worked. You know how I love trying all of the dollar store stuff. Besides, I didn't have time to go to the salon with all the packing we were doing."

"Oh, Renee! What am I going to do with you?" Helen said. "We'll get you all fixed up. We can't have you walking around Forks looking like a cheap hooker."

Renee started laughing and said to her mother-in-law, "I've always loved your brutal honesty. Thank you, Mom."

"Shall we go inside?" Charlie suggested.

"There's no better time than now, Dad," Bella agreed.

When he opened the door, a large group of people who were gathered inside the house suddenly yelled, "Surprise!"

Her father laughed jovially and greeted all of his high school friends who had come together to welcome him back to town.

There was the Black Family—the complete Black Family with a living Sarah and a walking Billy. Rachel and Rebecca had moved away and had their own careers so they weren't there, but Jacob was. He went immediately to Bella, gave her a big hug, and wouldn't leave her side. Truth be told, he looked as confused as Bella was.

There was the Clearwater Family—consisting of Harry, Sue, and Seth. Apparently, Leah was living in South Carolina with her husband who happened to be Sam Uley.

Speaking of the Uley family, Josh Uley, his wife Allison, and Sam's little sister Brittany were at the party. Did Sam even have a little sister? Bella made a mental note to ask Jacob later. Josh Uley was completely buff, in shape, and sober. His company was the one that had done all the renovations to the house.

Next, there was the Newton Family. Bella scratched her head as she met Mr. Mark Newton, his wife Tiffany—whom she recognized as the former Tiffany Call—and their sons Michael and Embry. What happened to Karen Newton?

"Oh, hi, I'm Mike. I'm a junior at Forks High School. Your grandma told me you're going to be in my grade. I can show you around the school," he offered nicely. "I've lived in Forks all my life."

Bella was going to have to get used to Mike Newton not having blonde hair anymore. He now had dark hair, a tan, and some distinctly Native American features.

"Damn, you're hot!" a young, scrawny kid exclaimed, staring at her boobs.

"Hey, leave her alone, brat!" Mike chastised. "Mom! Embry is embarrassing me in front of my new friend! Why the heck did we have to bring him along?"

"Embry, honestly, you need to learn to speak to ladies respectfully!" Tiffany scolded. "I'm so sorry about my younger son. He's a hormonal thirteen year old, still going through puberty."

"Mom! Don't talk about my puberty in front of girls—especially pretty, high school girls!" Embry's speech veered off into a high pitch as his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.

"Embry, that's enough! Listen to your mother and be respectful," Mr. Newton chastised.

"Aw, Tiff, don't worry about it. I remember being a disrespectful teen myself," Charlie replied.

"Renee, I'd love it if you'd come over for some coffee one evening so we can get acquainted," Tiffany offered kindly.

"I would enjoy that," her mother replied. The pair exchanged cellphone numbers.

"What the heck happened to Embry?" Bella whispered to herself.

Jake had apparently heard her and breathed a sigh of relief. "Is it really you, Bells?"

She nodded her head vigorously.

"Oh, thank God. I thought I was alone here." He gave her hand a squeeze and she smiled at him.

"You know it's good to see that Jake and Bella still get along great. Remember when they made mud pies together and tried to serve them to us for lunch? Bella even decorated hers with flowers," Billy reminisced fondly. "Look at you, so grown up and pretty now. I'm going to have to protect you from all the boys, aren't I?"

"We both will, Dad," Jacob agreed.

"Billy, stop it. You're making Bella blush," Sarah said, hugging Bella. "Honey, you're looking a little tired. I'll make you an echinacea and ginger infusion later to boost up your immune system."

Bella scratched her head, perplexed. _An echinacea and ginger infusion? What happened to Aunt Sarah's brownies?_

"I'd prefer your brownies, Aunty Sarah," Bella mentioned.

"Oh, you remember my carob and flax seed brownies. Of course I'll bake some for you, sweetheart."

 _Carob and flaxseed?_ That didn't sound brownie-like at all!

"Well, hello, Charlie. Look how handsome you look, and your wife—my goodness, she is gorgeous." The former Linda Collins gave her father a hug. "Have you met my husband yet? This is Greg Mallory."

Jacob's jaw dropped open. "Bells, is that…is that…?"

"It is," Bella whispered, giggling.

"Oh my God. She's a mom!"

"Well, what the heck did you expect? She was our age in 1987."

Jake's attention turned to the pretty blonde girl standing with Linda. Bella recognized her as Lauren Mallory.

"Hi, I'm Lauren," she greeted cheerfully. "You must be Bella. Your grandma said you're going to be a cheerleader at Forks High. Welcome to the team!"

"Thank you."

"Tryouts are going to be right after school on Wednesday in the gym, but I'm sure you'll make it. Your grandma is always talking about going to your cheerleading competitions."

"I'm looking forward to it," Bella replied, making a mental note to go over some of her cheerleading moves because she was rusty—very rusty.

"Great!" Lauren turned to Jacob and shyly greeted, "Hello, Jake. You sure grew taller over the summer."

"I…I…Yeah, I…uh…you're beautiful."

Bella watched the pair. Jacob was riveted to the floor and staring directly into Lauren's eyes. He seemed transfixed by her. It occurred to her then that Jacob must have imprinted on Lauren. It made her miss Paul even more. She didn't see him anywhere, which meant he probably didn't survive. She wanted to cry.

Her grandmother pulled her away from Jake and Lauren and brought her to another family. "Oh, my sweet niece," Aunt Molly whispered as she took Bella into her arms. "You were so brave."

Old Quil also wrapped his arms around Bella. "I'm glad to see that my little smart aleck is doing okay." He kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tight.

A man she didn't recognize, about the same age as her father, greeted her. "Come and give your Uncle Quil a hug, Bells!"

She realized that this was Quil the Fourth, alive and well, and hugged him.

"Oh, Bella, it's so good to see you again," a woman said with a big smile on her face. "I made some of your favorite peanut butter blossoms for you. I have them in the car so no one else will eat them." She had no idea who she was, but she assumed it was Quil the Fourth's wife.

"Go on. Go hug your Aunty J," Quil the Fourth encouraged.

The woman known as Aunty J, hugged her and said, "I have a big shopping trip to Seattle planned for us. You know how I love spoiling my favorite niece!"

"I'll be looking forward to it." _Who the heck was this woman?_

"Hey, Cuz," Quil the Fifth greeted with a hug. She, at least, recognized him, even though he looked slightly different. Maybe it was the hair? Or the eyes? "What's up?"

"Nothing much. I…uh…just got here."

"Obviously."

Just then Tyler Crowley approached her. "Oh, hey, I'm Tyler. You're Bella Swan."

"She is. Now, stay the hell away from my cousin, Crowley."

"Quil, he was just introducing himself to me."

"Yeah, that's what I was doing. What's your problem, man?"

"Alright, you've introduced yourself. Now get out of here."

"Quil, that's rude!"

Charlie walked over and tapped Quil on the head. "Are you playing overprotective cousin again, you knucklehead?"

"Hey, Uncle Charlie." He hugged her father. "Someone has to protect her."

"You know, you're going to have to let Bella make her own friends."

"Well, why the heck did she have to turn out to be so pretty? I'm going to be fending guys off from her left and right. Even worse, what's she going to do next year when I'm away at college?"

Her father laughed and ruffled Quil's hair.

A few minutes later, the doorbell chimed and Charlie walked away from the group to answer it.

"Heeeeyyyy!" Charlie roared energetically. "Get in here, buddy. I haven't seen you since we graduated from college. We kept missing each other on our visits home."

"I'm telling you, if it weren't for Facebook, we would have lost touch with each other forever."

"Well, come over here and meet my wife and little girl. You know everyone else." Bella saw her mother walking over to the new arrivals. She decided to follow suit and head in that direction. "Renee, this is my buddy Adam Lahote and his family."

Bella's mother hugged Adam. "So nice to finally meet you. You have been a topic of conversation at our dinner table for years."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Renee. This is my wife Gloria and son Paul."

"Oh, what grade are you in Paul?"

"He's going to be a junior," Gloria replied before Paul could answer.

Bella had finally made her way over to greet the new arrivals. Her breath hitched when she saw that it was Paul. She stared at him starry eyed and smiled.

The moment he looked into her eyes, the earth shattered around him and he felt the spirits urging him to go to her and never, ever leave her side. He felt like an invisible bond had secured her to him permanently. This was imprinting—simple, pure, and true—and he had never been happier in all his life.

Her father turned her around to face the Lahotes. "This is our daughter Bella. Kiddo, these are my friends Adam and Gloria Lahote. I've known them all my life. And this is their son, Paul. He's going to be a junior at the high school like you."

"Junior?" Bella turned to her father with a bewildered expression on her face. When she last left Forks for 1987, she had been almost done with her senior year of high school, but now she was a junior? She'd only been gone for a week, and it was during vacation so she hadn't missed any school at all. Why did she have to repeat all of junior and senior year again?

Paul, too, was a bit befuddled because he had been a senior as well, but then he realized that if Bella was confused then she must be his Bella—the one who went back to the past with him. "So, you're a junior, too," he asked.

"Apparently," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

"So, Bella, do you participate in any extracurricular activities?" Gloria asked.

"Oh, our Bella was a cheerleader at her high school in Phoenix. She has been in twelve national competitions. She also participated in drama and softball, and has a black belt in karate," her mother replied proudly.

Twelve national competitions? She was a mediocre cheerleader at best. The rest of the facts were true—even the black belt in karate. Her father had insisted she take it if he were going to pay for ballet lessons because he thought it was more important that she learned to defend herself. It was only after she had moved to Forks that she became a depressed recluse.

"Fabulous!" Gloria stated. "I'm going to be the new art teacher at the high school and also the cheerleading coach."

"That's awesome, Mrs. Lahote."

"I look forward to seeing you at tryouts on Wednesday."

Bella's eyes widened in horror at hearing that. She was still trying to figure out how and when she had participated in twelve national cheerleading competitions. She was going to have to watch You Tube videos between now and Wednesday so that she could work on her cheerleading skills.

"So, why did you decide to move back to Forks, Mr. Swan?" Paul asked.

"It's Dr. Swan, son," Adam informed him. "Charlie is going be working at the hospital with me. He's the new Director of Orthopedic Surgery. Since I'm the Director of Emergency Medicine, we'll be consulting with each other often."

"You're a doctor?" Paul asked, surprised. He was so used to thinking of Charlie as Police Chief Swan of Forks. He also had no idea that his father was a doctor. Clearly, Bella was confused, too, because she was staring at both fathers with a perplexed expression on her face.

Charlie started laughing. "I sure am, son. Ask your dad why I became an orthopedic surgeon?"

Paul turned to his father. "Why?" 

"Quil wanted to become a doctor and Charlie and I had nothing better to do so we decided to go to med school, too; however in Dr. Swan's case, he already knew how to sew from making costumes in high school and college so he figured that he might as well put that skill to good use."

"Yep, there was an exchange student when we were in high school who suggested that boys shouldn't be ashamed of sewing because surgeons sew. Until I met her, I was kind of shy about admitting that my elective was home economics. Of course, now, we use mostly staples instead of stitches."

"There were exchange students at the high school?" Paul asked. "What country were they from?"

"They weren't from a foreign country. They were from some reservation in Arizona. I forget the name. Anyway, the program didn't last long. They were called back home after only a week in Forks for some strange reason involving tribal politics." Paul's father explained. "They were really nice kids, though."

"They were nice," Charlie agreed. "I remember being upset because I had choreographed a dance routine to Greased Lightning with one of the kids and he was already gone by the time we got to school on Monday."

"Yeah, we had to ask Mark Newton to be our fourth. Never again, he was the most uncoordinated dancer in the history of dancers."

"Hey, I heard that!" Mr. Newton yelled jovially from somewhere in the room.

They all had a good laugh together. Bella even hugged her father. She was proud of the fact that he had sewn all his costumes by himself in high school, and she couldn't believe that he took her casual suggestion to become a surgeon to heart.

"Which hospital were you at before Forks, Adam?" Charlie asked.

"I was at Seattle General. What about you?"

"Phoenix Medical."

"I bet that one was busy."

"Not as busy as Seattle, I imagine."

"We'll have to compare notes. I'm looking forward to hearing more about it in the coming days."

"Hey, uh, Daddy?" Bella nudged her father's shoulder to get his attention. "Would it be okay if Paul and I went to get some ice cream?"

"Sure." He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and handed her a twenty. "It's on me."

"Thanks, Dad, and can I have the keys to the SUV?"

"No."

"No? Why not?"

"Uh, because that SUV is ten days old and you drive like crap, that's why. You're the reason why our insurance rates went up this summer. You can walk. It's not too far."

"That is so unreasonable, Daddy!" She narrowed her eyes at him. "And it's like five miles from here to Sully's!"

"What are you talking about? Adam and I used to walk everywhere when we were kids."

"Nah-uh, you owned a brand new Jeep. Grandma and Grandpa told me," she informed him smugly, using her knowledge from her foray into the past.

"She's got you there, Charlie," Adam laughed and slapped his friend on the shoulder. "Anyway, Paul has got a car. He can drive."

"I can?" Paul questioned. He owned a car? But he didn't even have his license—or did he in his new world? Bella elbowed him, and flashed her eyes at him to go with it. "Yeah, I can. We'll just walk over to our house and we'll take my car." He quickly took Bella's hand and led her out of the house.

"I've got a feeling about those two," he heard his father saying as he left the house.

 **XOXO**

Immediately next door to Bella's house was an enormous, newly constructed home on land, which at one point had three houses on it.

"I know, I know. I was just as surprised as you are now," Paul said as he saw Bella was staring open-mouthed at the house.He unlocked the front door and held it open for his girl before entering. Paul turned her to face him, cupped her face with his hands, and asked, "It's really you, right, Bella?"

"Yes, it's me. I went back to the past and vanquished evil vampires with you."

"Oh, thank God. You have no idea what it's been like since I woke up." He kissed her on the lips. "We all got separated, and then I woke up in the morning and my life has been flipped upside down. I don't even live in La Push anymore. Apparently, I just moved back here in June. My father is a doctor and my mother is a teacher, and by the looks of it—they're loaded. Oh, yeah, and I just imprinted on you a few minutes ago, and that was the most minor of the changes which have occurred in my life today."

"You imprinted on me?" she asked.

"Yeah, I just told you I did."

"Well, shouldn't we celebrate or something?"

"Bella, it was kind of obvious you were my imprint after I marked you, don't you think?"

"I guess so." She didn't seem so confident.

"You guess so?" Paul picked her up, carried her to his room, and placed her gently on his bed. He was going to prove to her that he imprinted on her—not that he needed to, he just felt like it because he realized that he had the whole house to himself and an opportunity like this might not present itself again soon. The new version of his parents seemed like they were really going to parent.

 **XOXO**

A while later, the couple were cuddling in bed naked, and discussing some of the changes in their lives, when the door to Paul's room abruptly swung open.

"Oh my God! What were you two…Gene! Gene!" Glenda Lahote called frantically.

"Oh, shit!" Paul immediately covered Bella and himself up with his Spiderman comforter.

"What in the world? Are you trying to give your grandmother a heart attack?" Gene Lahote stared at them nonplussed. "I hope to God that you imprinted on her, young man!"

"Of course I did! Why would you think otherwise?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe it's because you're sneaking around having sex with your girlfriend instead of socializing at the party, that's why! Now, put some clothes on and meet us at Molly's house—both of you. Hurry before your parents come home."

"Uh, okay. We'll be right there."

The couple quickly got dressed and hunted for Paul's car keys, which they found attached to his key ring with his house keys. They searched through his desk drawer for his wallet, which hopefully contained his driver's license. They found it and an iPhone in there, which he thought was pretty cool because he'd never owned a cell phone before this. He'd have to ask Bella to teach him how to use it.

"Wow! Do you realize that you own a brand new Audi?" Bella looked at the two other cars in the driveway: a Range Rover and a Mercedes. Paul's family would probably rival the Cullens in terms of money.

"There's only one problem, Bella," Paul stated as he sat down in the car and got behind the wheel.

"What is it?"

"I've only driven twice, and that was only this week when my grandfather tried to teach me after I told him I didn't have a license."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't know how to drive. My dad never taught me. Well, I mean, the drunk version of my dad never taught me."

"Holy crap! That can be a dead giveaway," Bella pointed out. "Alrighty, switch seats with me. Oh, and check your wallet to see what else you have, other than your license."

Paul did as she asked. "I see my license, my tribal membership card, gym membership, oh and I have some sort of a credit card." He passed it to Bella.

"That would be a debit card. See? The name of the bank is written across the top. We're going to have to look into all of that and try to figure out your password for everything." Bella took the wheel of the car. "I'm going to drive until we get to the Three Rivers Restaurant. Once we get there, I want you to try to drive the rest of the way, okay? You have to learn to be confident with your driving by the time school starts on Tuesday. In fact, we'll enlist Jake to help, too. He's a really good driver." Bella pulled out of the garage, hit the remote to close the garage door, and headed towards La Push.

"Have you seen Jake?" Paul asked, because he hadn't seen his buddy since the twister they were in dissected into two.

"Oh, yeah." She grinned at him. "He ran into Linda Collins. I couldn't place her then, but it turns out she's Lauren Mallory's mother."

"You're screwing with me, right?"

"Nope."

"And?"

"And I think he might have imprinted on Lauren Mallory."

Paul started guffawing in his seat. "Talk about awkward! Last night, while we were phased together, I read in his mind that he lost his virginity to Linda, during the school dance, underneath the bleachers of the high school."

Bella's eyes widened, stunned by this new information, before she started giggling. "I don't think I'm ever going to be able to look at Mrs. Mallory with a straight face again." Then she had a thought. "I wonder what she does? She owned and operated my grandmother's salon in Forks before we left. And she was divorced, but now she's still married."

In no time at all, she pulled into the lot of the Three Rivers Restaurant. They switched places. "Okay, you know where everything is, right?"

"No. I can't find the shifter thing. It's not next to the steering wheel."

"You mean the gear shift," Bella corrected. It's right here, in the center, by the seats."

"Oh, God."

"Don't freak out. It works exactly the same way. It's just in a different location."

"Okay, here it goes," he said doubtfully. He put the car into drive, took a right on the road, and continued to La Push.


	27. Chapter 27

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

Bella was debating whether or not to tell Paul to speed it up. He was crawling at about ten miles per hour and had an iron grip on the steering wheel, as if it would break if he let it go. Several cars honked angrily at him so Bella told him to pull over and let them pass him before going again. When the car finally pulled to a stop at the Ateara's house, two cars sped by him—one driver honked his horn and gave him the finger, while the other yelled, _"Stupid tourists! Go back to where you came from!"_

Their grandmothers were already waiting anxiously outside on the porch. As soon as they opened the door and stepped out, Glenda asked, "Where were you? Were you having sex again?"

"Again? Why? When were they having sex?" Bella's appalled grandmother questioned.

"I caught them in his bed just before we got here!"

"Already! They just had sex last night! Exactly how often do you need to have sex?"

Aunt Molly joined them outside. "Were they having sex in the car while he was driving? Is that why they were going so slow?"

"Our grandchildren are not degenerates like Quil and you are, Molly!" Glenda declared in a superior manner.

Bella felt a headache developing from behind her temples.

Paul was pretty sure he was going to vomit. Driving was terrifying to him. He'd rather vanquish a hundred vampires than get behind the wheel of a car.

"How can the two of you just stand there acting like it's okay to have sex in public? It's bad enough that you two were on a public access road last night, but did you have to do it again? Both of you get in the house now! I have a right mind to tell your parents about this!"

As soon as they entered the house, Bella explained, "We weren't having sex! I was teaching Paul how to drive!"

"So that's what they're calling it these days," Molly quipped with a grin.

Fortunately, Paul's grandfather saved her from having to dignify that comment with an answer. Gene slapped his forehead. "I forgot about that. Paul doesn't know how to drive."

"Yes, he does. He's been zipping in and out of town for…" his grandmother paused as a realization hit her. "Oh, my, we're going to have to teach you how to drive. By the way, I'm glad that arrogant Paul is gone."

"We'll all teach you," Geoff Swan said. "We can also have a chat about how you're going to treat my granddaughter going forward." He started fiddling with the safety of his gun as he glared at Paul. On the other side of him, Old Quil casually cocked his rifle, and narrowed his eyes at the young Lahote boy.

Why were Bella's male relatives all certified gun-toting tough guys?

"Oh, honestly, stop with the macho gun action," Molly told both Geoff and Old Quil. "Paul is not going to hurt Bella."

"No, he isn't," Quil the Wolf said. "She is his imprint. They're as good as married. Now, can we please start the meeting? We have many things to discuss." He paused. "And young Jacob here is anxious to get back to his new imprint."

Bella and Paul started cackling immaturely at hearing that. They were both given swats on their hands by a stern Ephraim Black, who had just walked inside the house. "There will be none of that from you two public exhibitionists!"

"Grandfather, you're still alive!" Jacob said as he barreled into his arms.

"I am."

"And you cut your hair!"

"Yes, I learned my lesson well after tripping over my own fur at a critical time."

"We had a long, chat with him about safety over vanity," Levi said, and then turned to the kids. "We've waited for many years to see you again, but after last night's windstorm, the likes of which we'd never witnessed before, we knew that you children—the right ones—would finally come home, especially with Bella returning to town permanently this afternoon."

"Finally? We were only gone for a week," Jake said.

"Can someone please explain what happened?" Bella asked. I woke up this morning thinking I'd been kidnapped by James and Victoria. When I finally opened my eyes, I realized I was in another universe. My parents are still together, for goodness sakes."

Jake and Paul both noted that they'd had similar experiences upon awakening.

"Quil, why don't you take it from here," Levi suggested. "I might bungle up the explanation."

Quil the Wolf smiled kindly at the kids, who were all seated on the floor, before beginning his explanation. "It all started that night in 1987—you three will remember it more clearly as 'last night.' There was a school dance and Glenda, Helen, and Molly decided to have a little ladies retreat at the hunting cabin. They never made it to the cabin. They were killed by the three vampires: James, Laurent, and Victoria. We had tried to overpower them, but we were too old and out of shape, while they were still powerful. That night, Levi and Ephraim lost their lives as well. In desperation, I used a powerful ancient chant to call on the spirits to reverse the events which had transpired because I knew the effects of these five deaths would be devastating, and it was, according to you kids."

"Wait a second, so were the events changed?"

"Not so much changed, but given a second opportunity. The three of you are living examples of it."

"How?" Paul asked. "How can we be the examples of it?"

"When I returned to my home after calling on the spirits that night, I was surprised to see the three of you in my living room, but more so to see Molly, who by all rights, should have been dead and drained. This is when I knew my chant had worked. Time had been reversed by one week, and I knew immediately that the three of you were the chosen ones, especially after reading your mind, Paul. The life you had led was so unbelievably bleak that I knew that it was because, somehow, life in La Push had gone haywire. If I hadn't called on the spirits for assistance—the deaths of your grandmother, Bella's grandmother, Quil's grandmother, Levi, and Ephraim—life in La Push and Forks would have become the convoluted mess that the three of you grew up in."

"I am confused about one thing, Bella. You implied that your parents got a divorce because Helen kept interfering in their marriage," Geoff said.

"Well, she did, at least the memory of her did. My father was devastated by his mother's death and could never get past it. All he did was hunt, fish, and drink beer. He stuck to his ways, or rather—his mother's ways, and never left Forks. My mom couldn't handle that. She didn't mind living in Forks, but she also wanted to see the world. She knew there was more out there and she wanted to travel with my dad from time to time, but my dad didn't even want to do the occasional trip to Seattle. Mom knew that if she had stayed in Forks with me, I would have ended up just like Dad. So, she took me home to California and we lived with my grandparents until they passed away. And it's a good thing we lived with them, too, because my mom was flighty. She was always taking off to look for her soulmate, leaving me alone with her parents. My grandparents pretty much raised me until they were killed in a car accident when I was twelve years old. After that, my mother realized that she needed to settle down so we moved to Arizona, and she finally used her college degree and got a job as a teacher. She got remarried to a much younger man named Phil Dwyer who was a minor league baseball player when I was a junior. Anyway, she wanted to travel with him. That's how I ended up back in Forks with Dad."

"Well, I'm happy that you at least had the stability of your other grandparents in your life, Bella." Her grandfather smiled warmly at her. "I met them before they passed away and they were very open and friendly. Your Grandma Higgenbotham was an incredibly talented chef, too. I still remember the beef stew she made when we all happened to be visiting you at the same time. I believe you got your cooking skills from her because it definitely wasn't from your Grandma Swan."

"Oh, I can make you that beef stew. I know the recipe by heart. I just need you to buy some Guinness Beer for me at Forks Outfitters."

"Good, because Grandma's beef stew is flavorless and watery."

"Are you two done?" Helen asked with an exasperated expression on her face.

Geoff winked at his granddaughter who giggled at the situation.

Jacob raised his hand. "I have a question, what about the Bella, Jake, and Paul who were here until yesterday. What happened to them?"

"They were placeholders," Quil the Wolf replied. "They were an image of the kids you were."

"An image? I didn't even like that arrogant brat the placeholder Paul was," Glenda stated honestly.

"Why not?"

"Oh, I had never met a more entitled, little kid. He was always zipping around in that ostentatious car of his and bragging about how much better his life had been in Medina."

"Medina? As in Bill Gates' Medina?" Paul asked.

"Yes, that's where you grew up. In fact, your parents still own a home there. Anyway, your father and mother were at their wits end about you. You were growing up to be a self-absorbed, privileged, brat—always staying out late and acting like a wannabe frat boy."

"Wow. I don't even like that me."

"Your parents would ask you to do something simple like clean your room and you would throw a temper tantrum about how unfair life was and how your friends didn't have to clean because they all had live-in housekeepers. You were embarrassed because your parents only had a cleaning service that came in once a week."

"Are you serious? I grew up having to do everything from the yard work to the house cleaning."

"Yes, you made us aware of that in 1987. Placeholder Paul resulted from Adam and Gloria overindulging you. I had a firm talk with both of them and suggested they move back home so I could have a hand in raising you. So, when the position of Director of Emergency Medicine opened up at the hospital this summer, your father decided to take the job and move back home in the hopes that you would become a bit more humble. Of course, the Cullens moved back to town about a week after you did. Because you lived in Forks and were closer to them distance-wise, you became the first to phase," Gene said.

"Dang it. Who was next?"

"So far, just Jacob, but we're going to have to fake that one. His parents don't even know he has phased yet because he phased last week in 1987," Ephraim replied.

"Phew! That should make things easier."

"Not exactly, Jared Cameron's phasing is imminent, and either Seth or Quil will be next. All three of them think you're an arrogant bastard."

"Well, no wonder! What the hell were my parents thinking by raising a jerk like the one you described?"

"I don't know, Paul, but things are fine now that you're here."

"What happened to Paul's grandmother? I mean his other grandmother, the one who was wrongly jailed?" Bella asked.

"Ah, you mean Gloria's mother. It took about three months for Paulette to be exonerated of all charges. The tribe hired a new attorney for her and she was released from jail after it was discovered that she killed Michael Clearwater in defense of her daughter. Gloria's father died in prison the same day of your school dance in very strange circumstances. He was found in the prison laundry room, drained of all his blood, by a repairman and repairwoman who had come in to fix one of the dryers."

"Gee whiz. How did the vampire get in there?"

"Oh, we have no idea, but we're not going to sweat it. Any man who attempts to trade his daughter for drugs deserves to die a harrowing death. I like to think that the vampire did a good deed."

"Is Paulette still alive?" Paul asked.

"Absolutely, and you are her favorite grandson."

"I am. How come she wasn't there today at the Swans?"

"It was a welcoming party for the Swans, that's why."

"Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting because I only just arrived here."

"It's understandable. Now, back to your grandmother. She fell in love with her attorney, a Makah man named Phil Young. They were married as soon as she was released from prison with a full pardon. He was in awe of the fact that your grandmother was so protective of her children that she killed for them. After Paulette married Phil, she moved to the Makah Reservation. He became an excellent father to both Gloria and her sister Jasmine, paying for both their college educations and encouraging them to succeed. They also have one daughter together named Emily."

"Wait a minute! She's not Sam's Emily Young is she?"

"We assume she would have been. Your Aunt Emily keeps you supplied with a constant stream of muffins. She's a nurse at Forks General. She's only a few years older than you are, so she's more like your cousin."

"What about his Aunt Jasmine? What happened to her?" Bella asked.

"Paul's Aunt Jasmine is the same woman you just met at the party, called Aunty J. She is your Uncle Quil's wife, and Quil's mother, which makes Quil and Paul first cousins."

"Quil is my first cousin?"

"Yes, most definitely. You are related to Quil on his mother's side while Bella is related to him on his father's side."

"Is that the same mother who Quil had in our last world because if she was, she would be a horrible woman for not taking in Paul!" Bella raged.

"Calm your temper, honey," Jake soothed, rubbing her back. "Quil's mom was a different woman in our last world. Her name was Joy. You've met her a few times at the tribal store. She was really nice."

"Yeah, she was really nice. Whenever I went to the tribal store, she'd always pack a few extra items in my grocery bag because she knew that things were bad at home for me," Paul pointed out.

"Joy Quehpa?" Aunt Molly asked, curiously.

"Yep, that was her maiden name," Jacob informed them.

"Interesting. Joy Quehpa and your Uncle Quil were prom dates during high school. They broke up because he went away to college and she didn't want him to leave. It was actually Charlie who advised him to break up with her and follow his dreams. Our son had wanted to be a doctor since he was seven years old. He told Quil that relationships required compromise, and if she wasn't able to do that, she was the wrong girl for him. So, they called off their relationship and she eventually married a man from Forks named Ken Marshall. They have a few kids including a daughter who is still at Forks High named Katie. Quil, of course, went off to the University of Arizona with Charlie and Adam."

"And it's a good thing, too, otherwise Quil's father would have died in a drunk driving accident," Jake pointed out. "Old Quil and Joy singlehandedly raised him."

Everyone seemed surprised at that information. "Do you mean my son was not living in your world?" Old Quil asked.

"Yes, my buddy Quil never knew his father. He had one too many drinks, got behind the wheel of a car, and died. My mom died in a car accident, too. My dad was behind the wheel of the car. I suspect he was drunk or stoned. Bella and Paul's grandfathers also died young, but I think they died from broken hearts."

"I believe you're correct. I wouldn't have been able to survive without my Helen." Geoff smiled fondly at his granddaughter. "Bella, it's important to remember that you have a very special relationship with your Aunt Jasmine. She loves whisking you off on shopping trips and spoiling you rotten. She was excited about you finally moving to the area."

"But I hate shopping! What am I going to do?"

"Pretend to love it. I can tell you that your Aunt Molly and your Grandma Helen have been waiting to take you clothes shopping."

Bella pouted, and then decided to change the subject. "Did you say my dad went to the University of Arizona with Paul's dad and Quil's dad?"

"Yes, for their undergraduate work. It was funny. After the three of you showed up in 1987, they thought that Arizona was where all the cool kids lived. They went their separate ways for medical school, though. Charlie stayed at the University of Arizona, Adam went to the University of Washington, and Quil went all the way to the University of Vermont."

"Wait a second, is Uncle Quil a doctor, too?"

"Yes, he runs the tribal clinic. It was his goal from the very beginning," Old Quil pointed out. "Adam and Charlie went to medical school because they couldn't think of anything better to do."

"That's awesome!" Jake exclaimed. "It means we have a full-time doctor on staff at the tribal clinic."

"And Jacob, your father ended up attending tech school after his stint in rehab. He owns a chain of auto repair shops in the Olympic Peninsula so he didn't do too shabby himself. He also runs the tribal gym with Harry Clearwater and Josh Uley," Geoff explained.

"Wait a second. We have a tribal gym?"

"Oh, yes, after your visit in 1987, we made health our number one priority," Levi Uley stated. "We realized how important living a healthy lifestyle is. So, we brought in health educators and built a tribal gym, which can be used, free of charge, by any member of the Quileute Nation."

"Hey, that's awesome," Jacob said. "So, my father is controlling his diabetes on his own now?"

"No, after drug rehab, he straightened out his life completely. He never developed Type 2 Diabetes. In fact, he's known to be a bit of a health nut."

"A bit? The boy is an outright maniac and so is his wife!" Ephraim Black exclaimed.

"That would explain the tofu scramble and veggie patties I was subjected to this morning." Jacob sighed, thinking about his awful breakfast.

"Is there more about me that I need to know?" Paul asked.

"No, I think that's the pertinent information. We'll cover more as time goes by. I think all of us with licenses are going to have to take shifts teaching you how to drive because that could potentially blow our cover."

"I think Jake should teach him. He taught me how to ride a motorcycle and drive a stick shift. He's a really good teacher," Bella explained.

"I can teach you, buddy."

"Thanks, Jake."

"Oh, one more thing, Paul," his grandmother said. "You have a girlfriend that you left behind in Medina—a pretty-ish, blonde, spoiled little thing named Emma. I don't like her. You might want to break up with her, considering you've imprinted. Thank Taha Aki for that!"

Bella glared at him, then smacked his arm several times.

"I don't even know who she is!" he protested.

His grandmother smiled indulgently at Bella. "I like your new girlfriend so much better—even if she is an exhibitionist."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I am not an exhibitionist."

"Well, then what was that display earlier today?"

"Honestly, it was all Paul's idea."

"My idea? You're the one who said we should celebrate so we celebrated!"

"Excuse me, I'll have you know that I was a virgin until last night! How was I to know what your idea of celebration was?" She turned her head. "Stop cocking your rifle at my boyfriend, Uncle Quil! And that's another thing—how am I supposed to differentiate between this Uncle Quil and the other Uncle Quil?"

"You call me Old Uncle Quil and my son Uncle Quil."

"Thank you for clarifying that."

"Maybe now is a good time for you to tell Bella and me what changes we're likely to expect because today, when I walked up to say hi to Quil, he told me to get lost and called me a freak. He was one of my best friends when I last left this time period. Also, what happened to Embry Call? I stopped by at his house to visit him today, but found the Clearwaters living there instead. Seth Clearwater told me to get off of his doorstep before someone saw me there and assumed we were friends."

"Jake, you saw Embry today," Bella said.

"I did?"

"Yes, he was the scrawny kid who hit on me—only he's no longer Embry Call, he's Embry Newton now."

"Embry hit on you?" Paul cracked his knuckles. "He's spoiling for a fight."

"Paul, he's like thirteen, he's shorter than I am, and his voice cracks because he's going through puberty."

"I don't get it."

Ephraim Black stepped in to explain, "Embry Call as you knew him was not supposed to exist. Bella fixed that when she forced Tiffany Call to confront Josh Uley. The relationship ended without the couple consummating it; therefore, the unplanned pregnancy never happened. Instead, Tiffany married Mark Newton and they named their second son Embry."

"Aw, man! He was one of my best friends!" Jake cried.

"Hey, I thought I was your best friend!" Paul protested.

"You are now. I'm talking about before."

"Things are the way they are supposed to be," Ephraim assured.

"What happened to my father?"

"Ah, first of all, you should know that the offenses committed by Billy, Harry, and Josh had grave consequences. The three of them will no longer be given the honor of becoming elders. Let me explain something to you. In 1987, when you visited us, there were four elders—the three of us plus the newly minted Harry Clearwater. He inherited the elder position at too young of an age after his father passed away suddenly from a heart attack. Keep in mind that this occurred roughly a month after Michael Clearwater was killed. Harry was young, arrogant, and abused his power terribly. After he was caught doing drugs by you kids, we used our collective power to impeach him from his position and dissolved the Clearwater elder line. With Michael Clearwater's drug dealing and his attempt to sexually assault Gloria Silverwolf combined with Harry's abuse of his power, there were just one too many blemishes on the Clearwater line. The Camerons were given that honor in their stead. They have been very kind, just, and unbiased—everything an elder should be. Joe Cameron recently became an elder after his father's passing."

"Do you mean Mr. Cameron as in Jared's father?" Jacob asked.

"Yes. We decided on that particular line after you told us of Joe's kindness to Paul when he was in need. And it was an excellent decision, too, because the Camerons have been fair, just, and kind—never once abusing their position." Ephraim smiled warmly at Paul and Jacob before continuing. "My position will go to my grandson Jacob, of course. I made the decision after your visit in 1987, and after your grandfather—my son Billy Senior, told me in no uncertain terms that he did not want the elder position when I passed. He, of course, passed away many years ago and Billy Junior had the privilege rescinded from him. You will not become tribal chief, though. That mantle will be passed onto Gene who will take Levi's place as elder and my place as chief."

"Wait a second, if my grandfather is going to become an elder, does that mean that eventually I'll become an elder as well?" Paul asked.

"Eventually, the chiefdom will go to your grandfather, then your father, and finally to you. The only line, which has remained intact, is the Ateara line. That line will continue through its natural successions as tribal elder and shaman. Now, you were asking about Billy, Harry, and Josh. Following their arrests, their subsequent drug rehabilitation was extremely successful. It took almost a full year of them being in-patients to see results, though. Josh Uley is still married to Allison and he now runs a contracting business. His son Sam married his high school sweetheart Leah Clearwater and they live in South Carolina. He never phased because of the distance. The Uleys also have a daughter named Brittany who is still in high school. Harry Clearwater is married to Sue Uley and owns a fleet of fishing boats. Seth Clearwater is a senior and best friends with Quil and Jared."

"What?" Paul questioned. "How the heck did Seth Clearwater become older than us? And how did Bella and I become juniors? We were seniors when we left?"

"Ah, that's a little more complicated. I explained earlier about the ancient chant that I performed, and about how you were brought to us from the future back to 1987 to help us. You prevented the senseless deaths of two mighty elders and three beloved mothers. Our reality was able to continue as a result of your assistance; however, for the spirits to be able to send the three of you back to us, you had to live the reality we would have had, had I not invoked the spirits for help."

"So, we had to have miserable childhoods in order to help you?"

"Your difficult childhoods are what formed and shaped each of you. Each of you knew love from a parent or grandparent, but you each had it stripped away at a young age. You saw the damaging effects of alcoholism, depression, and indolence and were astute enough to know that it was selfish and wrong of your parents to be the way they were. Believe me when I say that most teens can only think about themselves."

"You could have always sent Sam or Jared back."

"First of all, we didn't choose who to send back. That choice was made by the spirits," Levi Uley explained. "Paul, from what I read in your mind, it would have been impossible to send Samuel. He was much too selfish to be sent back. While he trained a group of wolves from scratch, it was only because it was his duty. He was much too consumed with how miserable his childhood had been, how he hated being a wolf, and how he wanted Leah instead of Emily to be able to think of anyone or anything else. As an alpha, he did the bare minimum. He did not even protect Bella from getting involved with the Cullens, which should have been his first priority. Instead, once she became involved with them, he gave you an alpha order not to have any contact with her, which I suspect would have eventually led to her turning into a vampire herself. So, no, Sam would have been a very poor choice for the spirits to send back. As for Jared Cameron, he was too far removed from the situation, and his family life has been too idyllic for him to be able to help out. He would not have been able to handle the rigors of traveling back in time. The three of you were the only ones who were strong enough to handle the changes. That's why the spirits sent the three of you to us."

"But you still haven't explained why we're juniors?"

"That's easy. You're juniors because this is when you were all brought back together again. Before that, Paul and Bella lived elsewhere. It was only now that your parents decided to move back to the area. Remember that this is your new reality."

"What happens to our world as we knew it?" Bella asked wisely.

"That world just dissipates once the task is complete as do placeholder Bella, Jake, and Paul. This is finally reality as it should be."

"What were placeholder Bella and Jake like?"

Ephraim answered that question. "Jacob, many teens on the reservation think you're a bit of a fanatic because you and your parents are…how do I explain this? You and your parents are vegans and fanatic recyclers who don't believe in hunting or fishing. You are staunch conservationists who are concerned about the effects of everything on the environment. You're all activists of sorts."

"They're tree huggers?" Bella asked and started cackling.

"How the hell can I be a tree hugger? We were so poor I used to have to hunt for venison so we could have protein. Fortunately, Dad brought home fish. Bella can tell you. She used to go hunting with me."

When everyone stared at her with disbelieving expressions, she responded with, "Sure, I had nothing better to do. Besides, I've always had better aim than Jake."

"At least you have aim. I don't even know how to fire a rifle because my father never taught me."

"We'll have to change that, Paul," Gene said. "You can't live in this area and not know how to hunt—unless, of course, you're Jacob. He was kept carefully away from all firearms since he was born. Bella, I'm surprised you know how to fire a rifle."

"Oh, well, this is going to sound ironic, but Billy was the one who initially taught me how to shoot. Whenever I'd visit my dad, he'd bring me to the Blacks while he was working. Billy had a little bulls-eye set up behind his house and he would teach Jake and me how to shoot."

"Yep, and when Bella and I started hanging out together again. She came hunting with me because she had nothing better to do," Jake said. "And, here's something else you didn't know about Bella. She's super sweet. She'd always buy meat and chicken in bulk at Costco, divvy it up into freezer bags, and throw it into our freezer when she thought I wasn't looking."

"Darn it. I thought you didn't know," Bella commented.

"You did that for my grandson and my great-grandson?" Ephraim Black asked.

"It was nothing. My dad always gave me a ton of cash for groceries every week anyway."

"Don't try to dismiss what you did as nothing, little girl. It was pure kindness."

Bella shrugged her shoulders. She hated being praised. "Maybe, I don't know. With Billy's diabetes, Jake was really concentrating on preparing healthy foods and I just wanted to help."

"You are a sweet, caring young lady," Levi Uley complimented, then added, "Even though you're an exhibitionist."

Bella did some quick thinking and changed the subject. "I have an idea, Jake. Once your parents are notified you've phased, you can tell them that becoming a wolf has sapped much of your energy and you realize that you need meat and fish in order to survive. That should take care of the vegan part."

"I don't know, Bells. My parents seem really fanatic. I got all excited because my dad said we were having burgers for lunch. It turned out to be at some vegan cafe in Sequim and the burgers were made out squash, nuts, avocado, and sauerkraut. At least the sweet potato fries were good."

"Well, then, you'll just have to visit me a lot," Paul said. "My parents eat normal food."

"And you'll just have to learn how to become a fanatic recycler. Fortunately, I can teach you how. That's my forté."

"Cool.I still like working on cars, right?" Jake asked.

"Yes, that essential part of you has never changed. Oh, and your dream is to become an aerospace engineer for NASA."

"Cool! It's the same dream I've always had."

"Your goal is to create rocket fuel, out of recycled cooking oil."

"Um…that is definitely not my goal! Gee whiz! The old me was so weird!" Jacob sighed. "I do have a question, though. How come Bella and Paul are in the same grade as me? They should be a year older."

"You're a junior because your mother managed to enroll you in kindergarten when you were four years and nine months by fudging with the year of birth on the registration form. By the time the school system figured out you were too young for your grade, you were already in second grade and at the top of your class so they just kept you where you were," Ephraim explained.

"So, I was born when I was supposed to be?"

"Yes, there is no change in your birthdates. The reason why Quil and Seth were born in different years from the reality you know is for the same reason why Embry Call is now Embry Newton. Their realities changed. Everyone is who they should be and was born when they should be in truth now. Oh, and you should know that while Quil detests his cousin Paul, he is extremely protective of Isabella. The two of you are extremely close. He and his family have visited you in Arizona and vice versa."

"He seemed overprotective today. I thought he was going to knock out Tyler Crowley for just introducing himself to me. It's going to take some getting used to because in our old reality, Quil kept hitting on me." Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Okay, what am I like?"

"Hmm…out of the three of you, you have the least amount of change to contend with. Your personality is, for the most part, the same," Aunt Molly said.

"What do you mean by 'for the most part'?"

"Well, you were a bit…flakier. You were more concerned with boys, cheerleading, hair, makeup, and shopping than you were with serious life events."

"I sound like a nightmare."

"Not really. You truly were a sweet girl with no real troubles in the world until that Nick boy dumped you for Sophia. You described that as a tragedy of the most epic proportions equal only to the breakup of Damon and Elena in the Vampire Diaries."

"I can see myself saying that. When it happened, I really was devastated—I mean by Damon and Elena breaking up. They were so perfect together."

"Yeah, and Bella has always been overly-dramatic about breakups. Think about how she was after Cullen dumped her," Jacob reminded everyone.

"Let's see what else I can tell you. Oh, yes, your father is a successful orthopedic surgeon and your mother is an elementary school teacher—as you're already aware. Your parents are extremely well off, but not as flashy as Paul's parents, who tend to like bling."

"Please don't say bling," Bella told her great aunt.

"Why not?"

"Because it doesn't sound right coming from you! Bling is like a teen word."

"Bling, bling, bling, blingity bling!" Aunt Molly repeated just to annoy Bella before going on with her description of Placeholder Bella. "You were very grounded in your upbringing, and unlike Paul, you went and found a part time job on your own, but not to save for an apartment—it was to buy clothes and makeup. You worked at American Eagle because, not only did you earn money, you got a 40% employee discount. Oh, and your favorite store is Sephora."

"Well, at least that hasn't changed. I like Sephora. Speaking of which, I couldn't find my favorite conditioner in my suitcase. Can you drive me there, Grandma? Apparently, I no longer have a vehicle." Bella had always had a strange obsession with her hair. Perhaps it had something to do with being the granddaughter and niece of hairstylists.

"I'll gladly take you there, but you won't be buying conditioner, honey," her grandmother informed her. "You use Swan Pro Beauty Products exclusively. We are the leading manufacturers of professional beauty and hair care products in the world. We revolutionized the beauty industry by promoting healthy hair and skin. In fact, we were the first to come out with products to counter the effects of damage caused by heat-styling tools. We also came out with dry shampoo, as well as other products that women can no longer live without. We also warned the world about the dangers of UV Rays, and we have a line of makeup products with a high SPF content so women don't have to worry about using sunscreen underneath their makeup. Of course, we also manufacture high quality sunscreen sold only at exclusive stores."

"Don't forget about how we invented tourmaline heat styling tools to minimize hair damage."

"Wait a second! I told you about all those things!" She recalled how her grandmother and great aunt took notes in the cabin. They wanted to know all about hair care in the future. They also asked her questions in the mall about the future.

"Well, of course you did, you didn't think we were taking notes for fun, did you? This was all done for the benefit of our grandchildren."

"Anyway, we've been branching out into makeup. Our BellaPop line has been extremely successful so we'll be adding onto that line. In fact, the eye shadow palette is the number one seller in the US, UK, France, Italy, and Japan for this year."

"You're that big?"

"Oh, yes. We're international."

"I'm not so sure if I can handle all of these changes."

"Oh, you will. This is a family business so you really have no choice, but to handle it. You'll be learning the ins and outs of the business. In fact, your grandfather and Old Uncle Quil had to quit their jobs to help out when our business grew to unmanageable levels. Before that, Aunt Molly and I ran it. It was after we hired Glenda to be our artistic director that the company exploded in popularity. She is a creative and artistic genius, and she has a good eye for color. She is now one of our CEO's, but she still coaches drama at Forks High School."

"Bella, pumpkin, the most important thing that Swan Pro Beauty Products has done is to provide employment for hundreds, if not, thousands of area residents who would otherwise be unemployed due to the decline of the timber industry. We need to thank Jacob for informing us of that tidbit. We are the number one employer in the area. We chose to keep our factory and labs local, in order to keep the neighborhood thriving," her grandfather explained.

"Remember, young lady, this is the life you were meant to have," Quil the Wolf reminded her. "All of you are leading the lives you were meant to have."

Bella let the new information sink in. She glanced around at everyone's countenances, and realized they all looked healthy and happy—even Paul and Jake, though confused, looked content. She decided just to go with the flow because there really was nothing else for her to do.


	28. Chapter 28

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

On Sunday morning, Paul knocked on Bella's door, but much to his annoyance, Charlie told him that Quil had picked her up to take her rafting down the Elwha River with his friends, Jared and Seth. Of course, as soon as he learned that she was rafting, he freaked out and phased with the intention of going after her. Unfortunately for him, Ephraim Black caught him and told him in no uncertain terms was he to interfere with Bella's friendship with her cousin. After that, he was ordered to run to the reservation, grab Jacob under the pretense that they were going to First Beach because his parents still didn't know he had phased, and meet at Levi Uley's house because it was time for pack training to begin in earnest. He had no choice but to obey so he put his clothes back on and ran to the Black house.

That's when the worst thing, which could possibly occur, happened. Mr. and Mrs. Black insisted that Paul have breakfast with them because it was very rare that any of Jake's friends ever visited. So, he sat down with the family and was served breakfast burritos made from scrambled tofu, onions, peppers, spinach, quinoa, and black beans. When he lied and said it was delicious, Mrs. Black made him another one to eat. After that, Billy Black gave him an extra tall glass of pressed juice made from turmeric, kale, parsley, romaine lettuce, and collard greens. "It'll help with the inflammation," he said, and patted him on the back.

"I have inflammation?" Paul asked, terrified about what could possibly be inflamed in his body.

Billy nodded and gravely informed him, "We all have inflammation, son."

"So, how did Jacob and you meet?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, um, we met at the Swan's party last night, and made plans to go to the beach together." 

"I'm so happy that you're getting to know each other. I knew your parents before they moved away from La Push, of course."

"Oh, Mom, I forgot to tell you that Paul invited me to have dinner at his house later."

"Oh, honey, I don't know. I don't think the Lahotes are vegan." Sarah turned to Paul and asked, "Are you at least vegetarian?"

"No, we're not, but…but we always eat salad. Lots of salad." Paul hoped he wasn't lying. When he looked in the fridge this morning, he saw a whole bunch of those pre-packaged salads.

"Sarah, you have to let Jacob grow up. You can't keep hovering over him like a mother hen," Billy warned. "You must trust our son to make the correct nutritional choices. Besides, he's been eating healthy since the day he was born."

"You're right. It's just so hard to see you so independent." She sighed and turned to Paul. "I'll have to call your mother, and explain certain things. We are vegan, which means no meat, fish, dairy, or eggs of any kind."

It was worse than Paul thought. Poor Jake was being subjugated by his fanatic parents. "Uh, yes, maybe Jake can sleep over, too," he blurted out. Someone had to save him. He needed to eat real food and there was real food available at his house. This was an emergency!

"I don't see any harm in that."

"I'll tell you what? I'll make a dish for you to bring to the Lahotes. That way, you won't compromise your diet," Sarah offered with a smile.

"And I'll even press some juice for the whole family to enjoy," Billy added.

Paul hoped that his parents weren't going to chew him out later for this. Oh, well. He needed to feed his buddy some meat. His parents knew he was a wolf and he could explain that Jake had also just phased and that wolves were natural carnivores.

When Jacob and Paul finally arrived at Levi Uley's house, the elders were all waiting.

"Where were you two? You should have been here over an hour ago."

"Jake's parents forced me to have breakfast with them."

The elders all started cackling and Quil the Wolf said, "I told you it would be a good idea to send the boy over to get Jake."

"You did that on purpose?" Paul asked, appalled.

"You didn't expect me to choke down their food, did you?" Ephraim questioned. "It's bad enough that I have to eat dinner there once a week."

The elders spent all day Sunday training Jacob and Paul. The boys were alpha ordered by Ephraim Black not to think about their trip back to the 80's around any new wolves, when they began phasing, or around the Cullens, who they would inevitably run into at school. Bella had warned them about Edward's mind reading and about other gifts possessed by the coven. Both boys were taught how to control their thoughts the way the older wolves could.

Around six pm, after an intensive driving lesson for Paul by Jacob, the elders joined the boys at the Lahotes. Ephraim Black had called and explained that Jacob had phased, and was in need of protein in the form of meat or fish because the vegan Blacks had no idea that their son was a wolf. Paul's parents were very understanding about the situation and jumped on board immediately with the rescue Jacob Black mission and had grilled filet mignons ready to go for dinner. Unknown to the elders and the parents was the fact that it was the first time that either of the two boys had ever had filet mignons.

 **XOXO**

While the boys spent the day with the pack, Bella spent her time with Quil the Fifth, Jared, and Seth rafting down the Elwha River. She had a ton of fun with them, but deduced that three of them were pretty arrogant—much like Adam, Quil the Fourth, and her father were in the past. The only difference was that none of them hit on her so she was comfortable with them. All three of them were very protective of her, too—no doubt Quil's doing.

When some boys from Port Angeles High School hit on her, the three of them almost got into a fistfight. After one of the PA boys had the nerve to grab her ass, Bella, of course, gave him an uppercut and sent all of them scurrying away.

"Bella, you're supposed to let us protect you!" Quil told her.

"Why?"

"Because we play hockey against those guys and if you protect yourself, it'll look as if we weren't tough enough to protect you," Jared explained.

"Do you realize how stupid that sounds?"

"Stupid it may be, but that's how it is in the hockey rink."

"So, you want me to act all meek and helpless?"

"Yep," Seth nodded his head. "It makes us look better. You see, we know that you can defend yourself, but they don't have to know that. Do you get it?"

"No, I don't get it."

"I'll have to have my girlfriend explain it to you. It's like a code."

"Well, it's a stupid code," Bella declared.

"Geez, Ateara, your cousin is as stubborn as you are," Jared said.

"It runs in the family," Quil replied.

After their rafting trip, the boys took her to a big blowout house party at the Berty house in Forks, where she was introduced to almost the entire senior class minus the nerds, according to Jared. Bella realized that Samantha Wells and Katie Marshall were both a year older than her now for some reason. Katie Marshall looked a little different because she had a different mother. Actually, she looked a bit like Quil used to look in the old future. She also met Brittany Uley, who was one of the few juniors at the party. Apparently, she was also a cheerleader, as were Katie and Samantha. The two senior girls attempted to explain 'the code' that Seth had spoken of to Bella.

"Um, no. I don't care if it is a code. If some guy touches me without permission, I'm going to kick the crap out of him. I'm not going to wait for some knight in shining armor to come to my rescue."

"I'm with you a hundred percent, girl," Brittany said. "My daddy always told me that I should stand up for myself and beat up any guy who puts his hands on me."

Bella thought it was ironic considering she gave Brittany's father a serious beat down once for grabbing her. Well, at least Josh Uley learned something from it.

About a half hour into the party, a tall boy with sandy blond hair, who Bella recognized as Austin Marks approached her. "Hey, so you're Quil's cousin. I'm Austin. I play hockey with Quil."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Bella."

"I heard you're from Arizona."

"I am."

"Cool. I've lived here all my life. I can show you around school tomorrow."

"Oh, um, I think my cousin…"

"You're a cheerleader, too, right?"

"I was at my old school."

His eyes traveled from her head to her toes then back up again. "I can tell. You've got the goods."

Bella rolled her eyes. "And you obviously don't," she replied.

The arrogant prick either didn't hear her or completely ignored her because the next thing he said was, "So, what do you think? Do you want to watch some Netflix and chill with me?"

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing, Marks?" Quil interrupted. "I told you and everyone on the team that Bella is off limits."

"I was just talking to her, man. She's pretty."

"He wanted to Netflix and chill with me," Bella informed him.

"Okay, it's time to go. I can't have my cousin at this party."

"Are you coming back, Quilly?" Katie asked.

"Of course I am, babe. I just have to drop my cousin off at her house, and then we'll chill." He winked at his girlfriend, who flashed him a seductive smile.

"You're a fucking hypocrite, do you know that?" Bella told her cousin.

"I can handle myself. I'm older. You can't. You have no idea what these guys are like. This is no place for my innocent cousin."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear that you're leaving. Would you mind if I waited at your house for my dad to pick me up?" Brittany Uley asked. "I don't feel like staying at this party."

"Sure, come on."

They arrived at the Swan house within minutes. Quil walked both girls to the door and knocked. "Hello, Uncle Charlie," he greeted.

"What are you doing home so early? I thought you were going to a party at the Bertys," Charlie said.

"Um, some of the kids wanted to chill out and watch some Netflix. Bella and Brittany didn't feel like watching movies so I said I'd drop them off at home," Quil lied. "I'm just going to head back before I miss too much of the movie." He tried to turn around and leave, but Charlie grabbed him by the collar and took his car keys from him.

"Sit the hell down, now! I'm not playing, boy!"

"Is something the matter, Uncle Charlie?"

"First of all, you smell like beer. Second, you got behind the wheel of a car after drinking alcohol and endangered the lives of two girls and countless more people who encountered you on the road on your way here. Third, you're not even supposed to be drinking—you're still a minor. And fourth, I know what 'Netflix and Chill' means and you absolutely do not have my permission to go back and do that."

"You're not my father!"

"No, I'm not, but you're my nephew, and I care about you just as much as I care about Bella, so you don't have my permission to run wild and drunk around Forks!"

"But Uncle Charlie, I'm Jared and Seth's ride home. Plus my girl is waiting for me."

"Don't worry. I'll handle all of that with one phone call."

Quil groaned as his uncle called Police Chief Ken Marshall and suggested that he swing by the Berty house and perhaps bring the paddy wagon and some extra officers with zip ties with him. Chief Marshall thanked him and promised that he would tell the kids that he received an anonymous noise complaint.

"There. Now all of your friends have a ride," Charlie quipped.

"I think I'm going to throw up." Quil suddenly stood up and turned green.

"Uh-huh. Alright, boy. Let's get you to the bathroom."

"Well, that was exciting," Renee chortled to the girls. "Let me just call your Aunt Jasmine and tell her what's going on. I'll be right back."

By the time Charlie came back out to the living room, Josh Uley had arrived to pick up Brittany. "Thanks for having Britt over at your house, Charlie. I thought I'd be picking her up at the Berty's house so I was surprised when she called to tell me that she was at your place."

"It really wasn't a problem to have Brittany over, Josh. She's always welcome here. Besides, I have a feeling that this party was a bit on the wild side." Charlie turned to his daughter. "Alright, I got Quil tucked into bed. Now, why don't you tell me what happened, kiddo?"

Bella explained about Austin Marks hitting on her and how Quil defended her, then decided that she needed to go home because she didn't need to be exposed to everyone at the party."

"What about you, Brittany?" Josh asked.

"Oh, I wasn't comfortable either. Riley Biers wanted to 'Netflix and Chill' with me."

"Who is Riley Biers?" Bella asked.

"He's the fire chief's son. He's also on the hockey team."

"I'm not so sure I like the hockey team guys," Bella said.

"But Brittany, you like watching movies," Josh said.

Charlie explained that 'Netflix and Chill' meant to make out or have sex with Netflix on in the background in teenspeak.

"Oh!" Josh cried in shock. "That's uh…that's…well, I'm glad you girls left the party promptly. I'll be putting a call into the Bertys as soon as I get home."

"I suspect the Bertys aren't home."

"Did you know that this was an unsupervised party, young lady?" Josh asked his daughter. Bella couldn't get over how responsible he was.

"No, Daddy. Katie and Samantha told their moms it was supervised so I assumed it was, too."

"Clearly, they lied to their parents. Well, what should we do about informing the parents? I'm assuming that there was drinking going on at the party?"

"I already put a call into Ken Marshall. He's going to investigate a noise complaint."

"Those kids are in for a rude awakening, but it's better that they learn this lesson sooner rather than later." Josh shook Charlie's hand. "Thank you for keeping my little girl here."

"It really wasn't a problem. I'd rather she be safe here than waiting at the party where there's drinking going on."

"Absolutely. I'll take Brittany home now." He turned to Bella. "I teach a kickboxing class over at the tribal gym. Why don't you stop in? Brittany takes the class. She just got her black belt. It would help for you to learn some basic self defense moves."

"Kickboxing? Cool. I love kicking things," Bella gushed excitedly.

"Our Bella has a black belt in karate, Josh," Renee proudly informed him.

"Oh, so you already know martial arts. You can still come to the class, though. If you like kicking things, my class is certainly the place to do it."

"Do you remember when that exchange student from Arizona gave you that phenomenal roundhouse kick, Josh?" Charlie asked.

"Oh, yeah. I tell all of my students that it was the most important kick I ever received in my life. That young lady kicked me straight into recovery. If I could thank her personally, I would—over and over again."

Bella was touched by that particular bit of information. Even if Josh didn't know it was she who had kicked him, he appreciated her actions. It made her happy to know that she had made a difference in someone's life.

"And that was the start of my obsession with karate," Charlie said. "Why don't you send your class schedule to me? I'll bring Bella over and we'll check out your class."

"That would be great, Charlie. I'll be looking forward to seeing you both. Renee, you're welcome, too."

"Oh, no. Karate is not my forte. I'm more a yoga kind of girl."

"Well, Billy teaches yoga at the tribal gym. He's an excellent yogi."

"Ooh! I'll have to try his class out."

The Uleys left soon after with Bella and Brittany making plans to meet up at school on Tuesday.

Bella was about to go up to her room when her parents stopped her.

"Oh, no. You're not going to bed yet, missy. You got into a car with your cousin who was clearly too drunk to drive. Why didn't you call Dad or me for a ride?" Renee asked.

"I…oh…I wasn't thinking," she replied honestly.

"You're damn right you weren't thinking. It only takes a split second to get into an accident. You're lucky you made it home alive. For not thinking, you get extra chores for the rest of week. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Mom," she replied. "I'm sorry. I really am." And she meant it. She hadn't considered the fact that Quil had been drunk.

Charlie and Renee looked at each other with perplexed expressions. "What's going on, Bells? No protest? No whining? Are you okay, honey?" Charlie put his hand on her forehead. "It's not like you to accept your consequences without throwing a fit."

"I was wrong. Why should I argue? You guys are weird. I'm going to bed," she declared, exhausted from an adventure filled day.

"I believe our baby is growing up," she heard Renee saying to Charlie as she climbed the stairs. Bella soon tuckered out. She missed Paul and Jake and wondered what they had done all day.

 **XOXO**

Paul and Jake were at the Swan house bright and early in the morning on Labor Day Monday. Yesterday had been the first full day in a week that they had spent apart from her and they wanted to make sure she was okay, especially since she had gone rafting down the Elwha with Jared, Quil, and Seth.

"What in hell are you two boys doing here this early?" Charlie asked as he opened the door clad in a pair of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajama pants.

"Oh, we're here to see Bella, Dr. Swan," Paul greeted excitedly.

"She's sleeping! Why aren't the two of you in bed like most normal teenagers? It's only six in the morning! Jesus Christ!"

Jake and Paul both gulped. They hadn't realized how early it was.

"Hey, guys," Bella greeted, walking down the stairs in her Hello Kitty pajamas. "What are you doing here so early?"

"What on earth is going on?" Renee asked, walking to the door in her Wonder Woman pajamas. "Did something happen? Is there an emergency?"

Paul noted that he fit right in with this family, especially considering that he discovered that he had a dresser drawer filled with Spiderman pajama pants in his dresser last night.

"Uh, no, we mentioned to Bella that we were going to the beach today and she said that she wanted to tag along."

"At six in the morning?"

"We're going to Port Townsend. It'll be nine when we get there." Paul was proud of himself for coming up with that on the fly. He remembered that Port Townsend was three hours away while eavesdropping on a conversation between Sam and Emily in his old life.

"Why would you be going to Port Townsend when you have several perfectly good beaches in La Push?" Charlie asked.

"Because we want to go sightseeing," Bella said quickly. "I wanted to see all the cute Victorian homes."

"It's a great idea, but no way. First of all, it's Labor Day and you have school tomorrow. Second, you don't have permission to drive for three hours one way, making it a total of six hours roundtrip, without parental supervision. It's simply too far. Do either of you boys have permission to go?" When Jake and Paul both looked down at their toes, Charlie continued with, "I thought not. Third, we have a cookout to go to at the Lahotes at two. I know for a fact that the Blacks are also invited so it should go without saying that you kids are expected to attend. So, no, you do not have permission to drive to Port Townsend. You may, however, go to First Beach or any of the other beaches in La Push, but only after you have breakfast. Now, have you boys eaten yet?"

Bella glared at her father with a scowl on her face. She wasn't sure how she liked this new strict, parent-like version of him. She used to have way more freedom in her previous life—perhaps a bit too much, she conceded.

"Uh, no, we were going to eat at the coffee shop," Paul informed them.

"Great. We'll all go," Renee announced. "We'll treat you. I don't want to poison you with my cooking. Why don't you go and wake up our nephew, Charlie?"

Charlie grabbed a frying pan and a metal spatula from the kitchen. "It'll be my pleasure," he replied with a grin and headed off to wake up Quil.

Bella and Renee also went upstairs to change out of their pajamas. In the meantime, Jake and Paul sat on the sofa wondering how their plans to hang out with Bella for the day had gone so haywire. Would they ever get a moment alone with her?


	29. Chapter 29

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

The Labor Day cookout at the Lahote residence was a huge blowout, to which a good deal of the residents of Forks and La Push turned out. It was weird for Paul to be actually ignored by Jared. In fact, whenever he would try to talk to him, his former best friend would tell him to take a hike. It was even worse when it came to Bella. Quil, Jared, and Seth spent their time hovering over her. No male was apparently allowed near her without their consent. Of course, after Bella tattled to Aunt Molly about her overprotective cousin and his goons, they left her alone, but they scowled at Paul whenever they caught him talking to her.

After that fiasco, Bella and Paul took turns sneaking actual meat products for Jake to eat because the poor kid was going to end up becoming the first vegan wolf in the history of wolves.

"At least when we were poor, we got to have actual beef and poultry. Hell, I'll even have venison everyday. This veganism sucks balls!" Jacob complained.

"Don't worry, Jakey! I'll make sure you get real food in you one way or another," Bella assured.

"I've got your back, too, buddy," Paul agreed.

Paul got to meet his Grandma Paulette, his Grandpa Phil, and his Aunt Emily, too. His Aunty Em was indeed Emily Young without a wolf-inflicted scar, and way prettier than she used to be because she had the same eyes as he did. His Grandma Paulette hugged both Quil and him over and over again. She kept pinching their cheeks, too.

"Why us?" Quil groaned to him.

"We're the apples of her eye," Paul replied.

"Oh, crap. Here comes Aunty Em with more of her muffins."

"You'd better smile and make like you appreciate it."

"You're such an ass-kisser, cuz! At least my other cousin isn't as fake as you are."

"I am not fake!" Paul protested.

"Stop arguing now, boys!" Aunt Emily chastised as she approached them. "Quil, you need to be more welcoming to Paul. He just arrived in Forks and doesn't know anyone. Why don't you introduce him to some of your friends."

"Because Paul is an arrogant prick!"

"Paul is a sweetheart! It would behoove you to act more like him."

"Why are you always coming down on me?"

"If the shoe fits!" Bella snickered from the side.

Paul grinned at Quil.

"Where the hell did you come from, Bells? You're a little smart aleck, do you know that?" Quil picked Bella up and tossed her into the swimming pool, and then dove in right after her.

After that, all of the teens spent their time splashing around in the pool. All in all, it was a pretty good party.

 **XOXO**

Paul also spent part of Labor Day practicing his driving with his very patient grandfather. By the end of the day, he felt like he got the hang of it—at least enough so that when Tuesday morning rolled around, he was able to drive himself to school at five miles per hour under speed limit.

He caught up with Bella in the main office retrieving her schedule.

"Good Morning, Miss Adams," Paul greeted the school secretary, remembering her from 1987.

"Miss Adams? Oh…I haven't been Miss Adams since December 31, 1987! I'm tickled that you thought I was a Miss, though."

"Oh, uh, my dad told me that your name was Miss Adams."

"You must be Superintendent Lahote's grandson. I'm Shelly Cope—Mrs. Cope. I remember your father when he was in high school. Have you met Bella Swan yet? Your father and her father were best friends when they were in school together. Oh, such little rascals," she recalled fondly. "Now, here are your schedules and your locker assignments. I put the two of you next to each other. I thought you might become friends."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Oh, you look so cute together!" she gushed as they left the office. "I have a feeling about you two."

The couple walked to class together. They ran into Jacob in the hallway. He quickly matched his stride with them. "I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone. Everyone has been staring at me like I'm some sort of freak and Quil told me to take a hike."

"Well, you are supposedly a tree hugging activist," Bella reminded him.

"We'll get through this, buddy," Paul assured him as they entered their first class.

At midday, the three friends went to lunch together. Lauren Mallory immediately sat next to Jacob and brought Jessica Stanley, Angela Weber, Brittany Uley, Eric Yorkie, Ben Cheney, Tyler Crowley, and Mike Newton with her—essentially, it was her old crew with the notable addition of Brittany.

Bella couldn't get over how different Mike Newton looked now that his mother was Tiffany Call. Gone were the blonde locks and the blue eyes. He had dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and was a bit taller than the previous version. It was so weird to see. He was still the same nice kid, though.

"So, you're really different from how I pictured you," Jessica Stanley snipped, eyeing Bella critically. "I thought you'd be all decked out like in the ads."

"Ads?"

"Yeah, you know. The ones for BellaPop."

"Oh…um…"

"Speaking of which, can you autograph this?" Eric Yorkie produced a copy of an advertisement with a totally dolled up Bella smiling cheerfully at the camera, holding an eyeshadow palette open.

Bella's eyes widened upon seeing it. So did Paul's and Jake's. The grandparents seemed to have omitted the little tidbit that Bella was in print ads.

"Hey, what the hell did I tell you about bugging my cousin for autographs, Yorkie?" Quil asked. Jared Cameron and Seth Clearwater flanked his sides.

"You…you… told me not to," the boy replied, shivering.

"Or?"

"Or you'll make me eat my lunch off of the floor."

"That's right. Leave her alone and let her go to school in peace! I mean it! Bella, come with us."

"What? Why?"

"Because I want to introduce you to some of my friends." Quil put emphasis on the word 'my' as if he had better friends.

"No, I've already met your friends. One of them wanted to 'Netflix and Chill' with me after meeting me for a minute. That's pretty creepy if you ask me."

"What?" Paul snapped, stood up, and glared at Quil. "You were supposed to watch over her!"

"Why the heck are you so protective of my cousin for? You don't even know her. Besides, I got her out of there, didn't I?"

Seth jumped into the conversation with, "Bella, come on. You're hanging out with Lahote, who is nothing but an arrogant prick. And then there's Black here, who drives a glittery red car. Who paints his car a glittery red? His car is the same color as Dorothy's shoes in the Wizard of Oz!"

"Were those statements really necessary, Seth? Have you taken the time to get to know Paul? And are you seriously saying that the color of someone's car makes him an unsuitable friend? I've known Jake my entire life. We used to make mudpies together."

"Bella, you don't understand. Jacob Black is weird. He has an issue with everything. And I mean everything! He's always standing out in front of the school holding up signs protesting stuff. Last year, he chained himself to the cafeteria lunch table, demanding that the school stop serving meat. You really don't want to be associated with Black." Jared informed her. "As for Lahote, he's just being smooth so he can hook-up with you."

"So, maybe Jake is just passionate about his beliefs. I'm not going to judge him as long as he doesn't try to change me. Also, I happen to think Paul is sweet."

"Trust me, he's not sweet. I've known him my whole life and he's nothing but an arrogant bastard," Quil insisted. "He really doesn't care about anyone, but himself. I've talked to you about him in the past."

"I'm sorry, cuz. I'm doing my best to change" Paul replied, clearly perplexing Quil. Paul thought he'd better start correcting the wrongs made by Placeholder Paul.

Quil slapped his palm on his forehead, "Dude, don't do this shit, okay? You freak me out when you're all polite."

"There! He apologized. Now will you let things be?" Bella asked.

Quil realized he was making a scene and said, "Fine, we'll talk about this later in the car when I drive you home," before he walked away with Jared and Seth following in his wake.

"Hey, you're really different from how we imagined you'd be. We thought you'd want to hang out with the cool kids because you're famous and all," Angela Weber turned to Paul. "You as well. We were told that you were arrogant because you're from Medina and your family is super rich, but you're pretty down to earth."

"You guys aren't the cool kids?" Paul asked

"No, we're the nerdy ones."

"So, what? Nerdy is cool these days."

The entire table broke out into laughter, and Paul knew that he had made a good impression on them. He also made a mental note to find out the name of the kid who tried to 'Netflix and Chill' with Bella so he could threaten him to within an inch of his life.

He was jostled out of his thoughts when Mike Newton asked, "So, Paul, I heard you're joining the baseball team. We could use some new blood. A few of us get together and hit the batting cages so we don't get rusty during the off-season. You're welcome to join us."

Baseball? The last time Paul played baseball, he was eight years old. He was in trouble.

"Sure, sure," he heard Jacob replying. "I was going to try out for the team myself. My parents said I had to do at least one sport this year."

"Wait a second, I thought you decided on the wrestling team. You said you were going to wrestle at the Swan's party," Tyler reminded Jake, and then turned to Paul, "You're going to wrestle, too, right? At least that's what your mom said. We could really use you, man."

"Nah, his parents said he does both," Mike informed him.

"Oh, okay. They are in different seasons. Anyway, we hit the school gym and keep up with the conditioning during off-season, but you look like you're in pretty decent shape already. You'll join us at the gym, right?"

Wrestling didn't seem hard at all. He had watched WWF before. All he had to do was throw guys around and stomp on them a couple of times. Paul was pretty confident he could do that so he enthusiastically replied, "Definitely."

The kids found themselves with a few minutes of time alone after lunch. "Alright, Paul, tell me honestly, do you know how to wrestle?" Bella asked.

"Sure, I've seen the WWF. I can do that."

"Yep, so can I." Jake nodded his head. "Paul, maybe they'll let us tag team!"

"Hell, yeah!" Jake and Paul high-fived each other.

"It's not like that at all. The WWF is show wrestling. Real wrestling is technical and complex. There are rules you need to follow."

"Is it like that Rhonda Rousey stuff?" Paul asked. "Because I think I can do that, too"

"No! You can't break arms. My ex-boyfriend Nick used to wrestle. My old… Stop growling, Paul!"

"I don't like the idea of you with Nick!"

"Oh, geez! Stop being ridiculous!" Bella rolled her eyes. "What I was going to say is that my old high school's team used to post videos of the wrestling matches on YouTube. You can find those and figure it out. You guys are going to have to practice together. It's a tough sport, and I mean both mentally and physically." She paused for a second before asking, "And what about baseball? Do you play baseball?"

"Nope, not since I was eight, but I figured that Jake can practice with me since he's joining the team."

"I don't know anything about baseball either. I've seen the Mariners play tons of times so I know the rules, but I've never actually played," Jake said.

"Well, then why did you say you were joining the team?"

"I didn't want you to be alone, buddy."

"Thanks, man." It felt good for him to have a friend. Jake really had his back and it truly meant the world to Paul.

"Okay, we're definitely going to have to talk to the grandparents. You two are up the creek if you don't know anything about either of the sports. I mean your cover could be blown," Bella said. Speaking of which, she had one day left to practice her cheerleading skills. Her muscles were sore from practicing all last night.

"Uh, yeah, they definitely left things out. For God's sake, you're the BellaPop girl! You're famous!" Paul noted.

"Oh, yeah. That was scary. I don't even like taking selfies."

 **XOXO**

When the bell rang, they made their way over to their next class, which happened to be chemistry. The teacher informed them that they had assigned seating with their lab partners for the year. Lo and behold, Bella was seated next to Edward Cullen.

He immediately flinched and covered his nose as if he was in pain. His body stiffened and he pushed his chair away from her. Bella recalled this whole scene from her other life, only they were in biology class at the time.

Paul watched, concerned about his imprint, from two tables over. He had the extremely annoying Jessica Stanley as a lab partner. He briefly wondered if he would get in trouble if he taped her mouth shut with duct tape.

"Are you okay, dude?" Bella asked Edward, who was unable to respond. He made a small whimpering noise followed by a gagging sound. "Are you having an asthma attack or something?"

This time he pinched his nose and closed his eyes. He put his hand to his throat, making an annoying choking sound.

An idea popped into her head, she raised her hand, "Yes, Miss Swan?" the teacher asked.

"May I have a new lab partner? This guy keeps bullying me. Look at him. He's making weird gagging noises at me on purpose. How immature can he be?" And just for added effect, she added, "Ew! Now, he's gurgling. He's making me feel extremely uncomfortable."

Edward Cullen's eyes widened in shock. He clearly had never been accused of any sort of infraction in school. Bella, meanwhile, was thinking that she had a distinct advantage because the vampire couldn't read her mind.

"Mr. Edward Cullen, are we going to have any further distractions in class or am I going to have to issue a hall pass for you to speak with the principal?"

"No, sir," the vampire choked out, and then sat with a pinched expression on his face.

"Excellent, let's begin. Welcome to Honor's Chemistry. I am Mr. Bunsen. The first thing I'd like to do is go over lab safety rules…ISABELLA SWAN!"

The entire class turned to Bella who had turned on her Bunsen burner. She was holding the flame up in front of a terrified Edward Cullen's nose and saying, "Isn't this cool, Eddie? I think we get to cook stuff in this class!"

Mr. Bunsen approached the table. "Miss Swan, please turn the Bunsen burner off. We are about to go over lab safety rules, and what you're doing is definitely not safe!"

Bella hunched her shoulders forward and pouted. She looked up at the chemistry teacher through her long eyelashes and whispered, "I'm sorry, Mr. Bunsen. I had no idea. I guess I just got so excited when I saw all of the lab equipment."

"Had you been listening, you would not have turned the Bunsen burner on."

"Oh my God! Are you related to the inventor of the Bunsen burner?"

"Oh, well…" Mr. Bunsen stuttered and smiled. "I'm afraid not; however, I'm flattered that you thought that. No, no, we just happen to share the same last night."

"I think it's kind of cool that you're a chemistry teacher and you share a last name with Mr. Robert Bunsen. I'll just turn this off then. I'm ever so sorry to have disturbed your class, sir. It won't happen again." She batted her eyelashes at him for extra effect and smiled.

"Well, as long as it doesn't happen again." The chemistry teacher seemed to have forgotten that Bella had deliberately eschewed lab protocol. The class progressed normally until the bell rang.

Paul pulled his imprint into a supply closet. "What the hell was that about? You can't light up Cullen in front of the chemistry class."

"I was just threatening him."

"Damn it, I love you." He kissed her soundly on the lips and pulled her flush up against him. Suddenly, the closet door opened. They looked up to see Alice Cullen staring at them with her eyes wide and her mouth open in shock.

"How are you doing, sweetheart?" Paul asked her, and then winked.

The seer squeaked and cried, "But…but…I didn't see this…I swear, I didn't see…"

"I appreciate you not reporting what you just saw to the admin. You know how they get? Thanks, hon." Paul closed the door on Alice, and went back to kissing Bella.

He heard her muttering to herself, _"Something is wrong. I can't see her. She was meant to be his. Oh, no. Oh, no. What am I going to do? She's disappeared."_ He heard footsteps and her screaming, _"Jazzy! Jazzy!"_

 **XOXO**

The final class of the day was English. Bella recalled how much she enjoyed her English class with Paul's grandmother in 1987. Glenda Lahote was a phenomenal teacher. Unfortunately, she was now one of the CEO's at Swan Pro Beauty Products so she wouldn't be teaching this class.

She looked around the class to see who else, other than Paul and Jacob, was in the class. Edward, Alice and Jasper were all enrolled in the class, as were Tyler Crowley and Mike Newton. Jessica Stanley, Lauren Mallory, and Brittany Uley were also in the class.

Jacob made his way immediately to Lauren and sat next to her while Bella and Paul found seats next to each other. Unfortunately, Edward Cullen decided to sit on her other side and Alice Cullen in front of her.

"Hi, I'm Alice," she greeted, turning around to face Bella and Paul.

Bella really wasn't in the mood to become friends with her so she deliberately ignored her and turned to Paul. "So, should we hang out after school today?"

"Of course. What do you…"

"Um, I couldn't help, but overhear that you're going to hang out after school today. My brother and I would love to join you."

Paul turned to the pixie. "You're not invited, sweetheart. It's a private party." He winked at her.

"Oh, but we know the two of you are new, and we want to welcome you to town. I'm Alice and this is my brother Edward. We're the Cullens. Our father is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He works in the emergency department over at the hospital."

"That's nice."

"What does your father do?" she asked Paul. "Is he a fisherman like most Quileutes are?"

"His father is the head of the Emergency Department at Forks Hospital, making him your father's boss," Bella informed the little elitist bitch. "You should do your research before making assumptions."

Alice put her fingers to her temples and started blinking her eyes. "I didn't see …I didn't know that."

Bella looked to her right. Edward was giving her his trademark grin that used to make her melt. She shook her head and rolled her eyes at him.

"Hello, class! I'm sorry I was a bit delayed. I had to run down to the office. Welcome to the world of literary classics. I am Mrs. Mallory."

Bella and Paul turned to Jacob who was running his hand through his hair in distress. He kept looking between Linda and Lauren with a horrified expression on his face.

"I think he's developing a sort of Oedipal complex," Paul whispered in Bella's ear.

"Jacob Black, may I ask for your assistance, please."

"Sure, Linda." Jacob slapped his forehead. "I mean, Mrs. Mallory."

"Please distribute one book to each student."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Okay, so we are going to begin the school year with a bang. We will be reading and dissecting Oedipus Rex by Sophocles."

And with that, Bella and Paul both burst out laughing, while Jacob gulped in horror.

"Isabella Swan and Paul Lahote! You may share whatever you were talking about with the entire class, especially since it was so funny."

Neither of the kids had a response. It was bad enough that they knew with whom, where, and even when their English teacher had lost her virginity, but even worse that the boy she lost her virginity to had imprinted on her daughter.

"Well? What was so funny that you had to interrupt the class?"

"We…we were discussing a joke that we heard this weekend," Paul replied.

"And? What was the joke?"

"It's personal."

"Kindly refrain from personal conversations during class."

"Yes, ma'am," they both replied.

"Well, let's get back to class, shall we? Ooh, it's quite warm in here. Let me turn the fan on."

As soon as Mrs. Mallory switched on the fan, Bella's scent wafted towards Edward Cullen who covered his nose and mouth with his hand and started choking.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Mallory," Bella called.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I think Eddie is going to throw up. He was ill earlier in chemistry class, too."

"Edward, are you okay?" Mrs. Mallory asked.

"I'm fine," he choked out. "Just a little dizzy."

"Okay, but if you need to go to the nurse, just let me know."

As soon as the class ended, Edward opened the window, stuck his head out, and breathed in the fresh air. Bella simply smirked as she made her way out of the class to the parking lot with Paul.

"So, we'll meet at your house?" Paul asked.

"Yep, are you sure you'll be okay driving home?"

"God, I hope so. Worse comes to worse, I'll have Jake drive me home."

"Okay, I'm gonna go and meet Quil."

"I'm right here, Bella." Quil was walking behind them. "Are you still hanging out with Paul, Bella? What part of 'he's an arrogant bastard' do you not get?"

"He is not arrogant."

"I'm trying not to be, cuz," Paul told Quil.

"Stop it! I swear to God. You've been nice all day, which is a first in my entire life. You're making my head spin!" 

"Ah-ha! So you admit he's nice."

"Bella, stay out of this."

"No."

While the three of them were chatting, Edward Cullen approached Bella with Alice by his side.

"What do you want Cullen?" Quil asked.

"Oh, I'm here to talk to Bella."

"What the hell could you possibly have to talk to my cousin about?"

"Cousin? How could that be? She's white and you're…"

"He's what?" Bella asked, incensed.

"Oh…uh…it's just that you look so different from each other."

"I'm sure that's what you meant," Bella replied with sarcasm and huffed. "What do you want?"

"Um, well, my sister and I wanted to invite you to our house to uh…" Edward looked to Alice who nodded encouragingly to him.

"To what?" Paul asked.

"To 'Netflix and Chill' with us," Edward replied with a regal air.

"What the hell?" Quil snapped angrily, flexing his muscles, getting ready to hit him. Meanwhile, Paul simply planted an uppercut under the vampire's chin. The force behind it was so strong that it knocked the overgrown mosquito flat on his back onto the parking lot pavement.

Stunned by the power behind Paul's punch, Edward sat up looking dazed while Alice went to his aid.

"Don't fuck with my family, Cullen!" Quil yelled while the rest of the Cullen clan rushed to check on Eddie.

 **XOXO**

A few minutes after Quil dropped Bella off at home. Paul showed up about ten minutes later. Neither of her parents were at home because they were still at work so they took advantage and spent some time making out. They were newly imprinted, after all. Asking them to keep their hands off of each other was like asking the impossible.

Around four pm, they quickly drew apart, when they heard the front door open and Renee calling, "Bella, I'm home! How was your first day at school?"

"Um, it was great," she yelled from up in her room while Paul opened the window and jumped out.

Renee walked into her room and noted the rumpled sheets. "Were you taking a nap, honey?"

"Just a short one so I could perk up a bit. It's really tough starting at a new school."

"I know, honey. You are so brave starting at a new school halfway through your high school career."

"How was your first day, Mom?"

"The children were delightful. They all are when they're in the second grade. It's when they become your age that they become a challenge."

The doorbell rang at that moment, Bella and her mother both went down to see who it was. It turned out to be Paul, but this time he had his backpack with him.

"Hello, Mrs. Swan. I was just wondering if Bella wanted to do homework with me. We're in all the same classes."

"Oh, what a great idea. Why don't the two of you sit at the dining table and work there?"

Bella and Paul soon discovered that the Swan house was like Grand Central Station. Everyone, including Paul's mother, stopped by to chat with Renee. Paul's Aunt Jasmine, who was Bella's aunt as well, also popped in to talk to Renee about Quil's Sunday night drinking incident.

"I was so upset with him, Renee. I'm glad you kept him overnight. I would have clubbed him over his head with the frying pan."

"Wait? What happened to Quil?" Paul asked because this was the first time he was hearing about this.

"He went to a party at the Bertys, got drunk, and actually got behind the wheel of his car to drop Bella and Brittany off."

"I'm going to kill him! He put Bella's life in danger."

"Sit down, you hothead!" Gloria warned. "And don't act as if you haven't been in the same situation before. I remember having to pick you up at the Thompson's just this March because you and your friends decided to get drunk. You'd better thank the heavens that Mr. and Mrs. Thompson came home when they did, otherwise, you would have been arrested, or even worse—dead! Now is the time to be supportive of your cousin. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Mom," Paul replied, chagrined. He was also kind of upset that Placeholder Paul had been so irresponsible. He'd never even had a drop of liquor before in his life.

"And Bella, I still haven't forgotten about your consequences for getting into the car with your cousin. Dad and I have decided that you will be dusting the house from top to bottom and mopping all the floors," her mother told her. "We were going to make you do the windows, but we don't want you on a ladder. You could get hurt."

That was a punishment? In her previous life, this was all run of the mill stuff because if she didn't do it, no one else would. "Sure, Mom. No problem," Bella replied.

"Is she okay, Renee?" Her Aunt Jasmine put her hand on Bella's forehead to feel for a temperature. "She didn't protest about her punishment."

"Yes, I know, Charlie and I thought our heads were going to spin off when we told her there would be consequences for her irresponsible behavior on Sunday night and she didn't argue."

Bella simply shrugged her shoulders and went back to working on homework with Paul while the mothers moved on to discuss different topics. Eventually, it was time for everyone to head home for dinner. Paul wanted to kiss Bella goodbye, but it was too soon to do that in front of the moms so they simply parted with, "See you tomorrow."


	30. Chapter 30

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

The following morning, Paul parked his car in the school lot and leaned up against it to wait for Bella. The Cullens had just arrived and were parked a few stalls away from him.

A red Subaru Outback pulled up to the drop off point. Bella hopped out of the car, and yelled, "Bye, Mom!"

"Bella, honey, it's starting to rain. Make sure you get inside quickly," Renee advised her as she exited the vehicle.

"I will. Have a good day at work."

She spotted Paul and waved. Edward Cullen waved eagerly back to her, but she didn't notice him. Her eyes were focused on her wolf, and she headed towards him with a smile on her face. Paul noticed the entire Cullen coven stopped to stare, their eyes following his imprint's every movement.

Bella thought there was something familiar about the scene, but she couldn't place it. What was it? Just as she got to Paul, she suddenly heard tires squealing. Tyler Crowley's van was barreling towards them. Clearly, he had no brakes. Paul reacted by gently pulling Bella out of harm's way before attempting to dive underneath his car. His effort to save himself was obstructed, however, and he instead found himself in an awkward position. Edward Cullen was cradling him with his right arm and holding the van from sliding with the other. Tyler shut his engine off and the van finally stopped, while the vampire cooed, "Bella, my love? Are you alright?"

"Get your hands off of me, Cullen!" Paul roared.

"You!" Edward shouted accusingly. "It wasn't supposed to be you!"

"Oh my God! Paul, are you okay?" Bella asked, then caught sight of Edward holding him with one hand and the van with the other, and started giggling. She held her hand out for Paul and helped to pull him up.

"Um, thank you for saving my boyfriend from getting crushed by the van," she told Edward. "I really do appreciate it."

"You're with him?"

"Of course I am. I find him charming and irresistible."

"But, you're supposed to be my…you're my…Alice said…"

"Are you okay, Eddie? Maybe you hit your head too hard on the pavement yesterday after school?"

"I…you…you…supposed to be my…"

"Paul, you should thank him. After all, he did risk his life to save yours."

"Thanks, dude," he said before gathering Bella in his arms to hold her. He kissed her soundly in front of the entire student body, just in case anyone else got any more crazy ideas.

Mrs. Julia Hammond, the school nurse, arrived on the scene. Several student witnesses described what had happened to her. Bella and Paul, of course, recognized her from the cafeteria in 1987.

"Mrs. Hammond, I believe Edward might be suffering from a concussion," Bella told him. "Why, just a few seconds ago, he was babbling incoherently. He can't even form a complete sentence."

Edward started shaking his head vigorously. Bella knew that he didn't want to risk being transported to the hospital. "I…no…no…doctor…no ambulance…" He pointed to Bella. "My…my…mate."

"You are a very observant young lady, Isabella. I'm so happy that you recognized the signs of a concussion. He is not making any sense at all." The school nurse pulled out her cell phone and called for an ambulance. As a precaution, Edward, Paul, and Tyler were all transported to the emergency room, where they were examined by Dr. Cullen and Dr. Lahote. As soon as Dr. Swan was informed that his daughter was somehow involved in the incident, he came flying downstairs from his office and would not leave until the entire story was relayed to him.

"You put your life at risk for my daughter. Thank you, Paul," Charlie said gratefully and shook his hand. "You've got a great kid there, Adam."

"And thank you, Edward, for saving my son's life. Carlisle, you've really taught your kid well," Adam told the vampire doctor, who didn't look comfortable at all. Dr Lahote then turned to Charlie. "Like I said, I have a feeling about Bella and Paul."

"Me, too, buddy. Me, too."

Edward was the only one who saw no justice in the situation. He was utterly embarrassed and was sure he had become the laughing stock of Forks High School for risking his life to save a boy. He hadn't meant to save Paul. He had meant to save Bella Swan. Dr. Swan should have been on his knees with gratitude in front of him right now instead of shaking Paul's hand.

On top of that, there was the 'Netflix and Chill' incident yesterday? How was he to know that _that_ particular phrase was code for let's have sex? He had not seen the need to keep informed of modern teen lingo. He would have never been so vulgar as to suggest having premarital intercourse with a woman, especially one as beautiful as Isabella.

Clearly, something had gone wonky in Alice's vision. She had been positive that the BellaPop girl was his mate, but it turned out that she was mistaken. Alice had seen a mild mannered, obedient, and subservient girl, but Isabella Swan was nothing like the girl in her predictions. She was confident, outgoing, and even a bit on the mischievous side. She did have an intoxicating scent, but even that was not as delectable as Alice had predicted. There was a tinge of an odd, pungent odor that wouldn't be detectable to a human. Sadly, that scent was in her blood so if he had to mate with her, it would become…no, he couldn't go through with it without choking. Edward decided to cut his losses. Obviously, some spur of the moment change in Bella's mindset had changed the whole outcome of her future and his.

Edward Cullen never bothered Bella Swan again. In fact, Edward Cullen was never seen again. He left Forks as soon as he was discharged from the emergency room. Two weeks later, the entire Cullen coven left Forks, Washington. This time, rather than locking up their house, they emptied it and sold the property for a pittance as they were in a rush to complete the transaction and leave the area permanently. Swan Pro Beauty Products paid cash for the property, had the house razed, and erected the brand new multi-million dollar headquarters for the company.

 **XOXO**

The only other challenging event happened on Friday after school. Paul was kissing Bella by his car when a girl with bleached-blonde hair started shrieking at them. The crazy loon slapped Paul across the cheek. Bella didn't take to kindly to her boyfriend being assaulted so she, in turn, slapped the girl across her face.

"How dare you? You boyfriend stealer! Who is this slut?" the girl asked.

"Who the hell are you?" an appalled Paul asked.

The girl whipped out her iPhone, started scrolling through it, and showing them pictures. "Who am I? Who am I? I'm Emma—your girlfriend! We have been together since March and you have the nerve to act like you don't even know who I am? You asshole!"

"Oh, you're that Emma," Bella said, realizing who she was. "I'll see you later, Paul. Good luck with this." She winked at him and walked towards Jacob's Rabbit.

Great! His girlfriend had just abandoned him with a nut job. This must have been Placeholder Paul's girlfriend. She wasn't even his type. She wore too much makeup, she was too shallow, and her hair was obviously over-bleached.

"I forgive you!" Emma said suddenly. "I understand that it was probably temporary insanity that made you kiss that thing." She pointed towards Bella and shook her head with disgust. "You'd better make it worth my while, though! I want you to take me out to El Gaucho for steak, and I want you to buy me that BellaPop eyeshadow palette and the new makeup brushes that Swan Pro came out with last month."

Paul couldn't help but chuckle at the irony in that statement. Thinking that he was going to give in to her demands, she gushed, "I love you, my Paulie Poo."

Jacob, who was sitting a few cars away with Bella, was listening in and repeating the conversation word for word to her. Both kids clutched their stomachs and cackled in laughter.

Paul heard them laughing—so much for loyalty between friends. Enough was enough. He had to put an end to this. "Listen, Emma, is it?"

"You know what my name is, Paul!" she snapped, incensed. She put her hands on her hips and started huffing and rolling her eyes. A crowd had gathered and some kids had whipped out their phones and started filming.

"This isn't going to work out. We simply live too far away from each other."

"You told me you loved me! On your last Facebook post, which was two weeks ago, by the way. I don't know what you were thinking not updating your status for so long. You know that I want to know what you're doing every hour or two!"

"Are you out of your mind? You're not my keeper!"

"Of course not, but I am your girlfriend. Besides, we're like practically married. We've been together for four and a half months—that's like an eternity. Anyway, you told me you loved me."

"Well, things changed!"

"Is it because of the slut you were kissing! Does she even know who I am? I'm the exclusive model for the In and Out Discount Stores! Who the hell is she?"

Paul was tempted to tell her that she was the BellaPop girl, but he didn't because he really didn't care about that stuff. He loved Bella simply because she was Bella.

The floozie reached into her purse and took out a sparkly tube of lipstick and opened it. She leaned down to look into the driver's side mirror of his Audi and seductively applied it. She licked her lips and pouted at Paul.

"Is she as good as I am in bed? Can she keep you satisfied?"

Bella reached for the football sitting in the backseat of Jake's car. "Bells, put that down!" Jake ordered. "Let the bimbo have her say."

"Can't I just go up to her and give her one roundhouse kick to the jaw? That's it. I swear to God, that's all I'll do."

"Bells, you can't give Placeholder Paul's girlfriend a roundhouse kick. She has no idea she was dating a placeholder." Jake placed Bella on his lap just in case she tried to do something stupid. "Besides, she was using BellaPop lipstick. You can't injure someone for having good taste."

"Well, I don't like the idea of her using anything with my name on it." She folded her arms in front of her chest and scowled.

Meanwhile, Paul was becoming frustrated with the blonde tart, who seemed to not be listening to him. He tried breaking up with her again. "I'm sorry. It really isn't going to work out between us."

"No! Please, Paul! You're the love of my love." She got a desperate glint in her eyes and licked her lips. Paul flinched at the sight of her. "Does Little Paulie Poo want to come out and play?" She got down on her knees and tried to unzip his pants. He backed away quickly.

"And they call me an exhibitionist?" Bella asked Jake. "This is a high school parking lot! We should call my dad and have her arrested."

"Your dad isn't police chief any longer, honey. He's an orthopedic surgeon."

"I kind of liked being the police chief's kid. It came with a lot of perks." Bella sighedas she recalled being pulled over and given a ticket for speeding on the 101 the other day. Her parents had taken the keys away from the new truck her grandpa had just given her, plus she had to work off the fine with sweat equity. She didn't mind that part, but since when the hell did her dad and mom become so parent-like and responsible?

She looked over to see that Emma was trying to twerk on Paul.

"That girl is nuts, Bells!" Jacob said. "Maybe we should go and help him before she attacks Little Paulie Poo."

The two buddies started howling with laughter in the car.

"Goodbye, Emma," Paul said with finality.

"You can't do this to me! We are a power couple! Do you hear me? You can't do this to me!" Emma threw her iPhone at Paul. It shattered on the ground into a hundred pieces. She started screaming and pitching a fit that could rival any two year old throwing a tantrum. "I hate you, Paul Lahote! You made me break my iPhone! I hate you!"

"Goodbye, Emma," he repeated.

She got into her Volvo and sped away from Forks, and out of Paul's life, for good.

Quil walked over to Paul. He had been watching from the sidelines with Jared and Seth. "What the hell were you doing dating that thing, cuz? She's certifiably insane and she takes 'ho' to a new level! I mean Katie can be a slutty, but that's just in private with me."

"The hell if I know," Paul replied. "At least I finally broke up with her."

"Good. We don't need psycho's like her in our family." Quil looked seriously at him. "I know you've been hanging out with my other cousin lately—the cool one. Don't hurt her or you'll have to answer to me."

"I'm not going to hurt, Bella. I really care about her."

"Geez. I never imagined that my least favorite cousin and my favorite one would begin dating."

"Hey, she's not my cousin."

"I know that, but still. I thought Bella had better taste."

"I'm growing on you, though, aren't I? Admit it."

"Yeah, you're not as bad as you used to be. What changed anyway?"

"I don't know. I just woke up one morning and decided not to be an asshole."

Quil smiled at him. "Well, keep up the good work. Alright, I'm off to practice. Are you taking Bella home or am I?"

"Looks like Jake's got her," Paul said.

"Yeah, looks like it." He then hollered, "I'll pick you up on Monday morning, okay?"

"Got it!" Bella replied and gave Quil a thumbs up.

Paul walked to the Rabbit and hopped into the backseat. "Glad that's done and over with," he said.

"That'll teach you to break up with your old girlfriend before getting a new girlfriend," Jake said.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Paulie Poo?" Bella started laughing uncontrollably along with Jake.

"God, damn it! I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"No, Paulie Poo," Jake assured him.

"Paul, apparently you have a Facebook account. At least Emma said you had one. I wouldn't be surprised if we all had Facebook accounts. We should check our laptops and phones because that'll give us an insight into the lives our placeholders led. I can't believe I didn't think of that before."

"How did you become so smart?" Paul asked Bella then kissed her softly on the lips.

"That's why we keep her, Paul. She's resourceful," Jake said. "How about if we hang out at my place tonight and check our social media accounts?"

"Aren't you going out with Lauren?"

"No, she and her parents are visiting her grandparents in Astoria this weekend. It's their anniversary."

"Cool."

"Oh, speaking of which, here Bells." Jake handed her a wrapped gift. She opened it up to find two intricately carved wolves on a leather bracelet.

"Thank you!" She hugged her friend tightly. "What's this for?"

"Silly, it's your birthday today! You're seventeen again!"

"That is so screwed up, but this time I like being seventeen." She kissed Jake on the cheek. "Thank you for remembering."

"You're making me look really bad today, man!" Paul complained.

"You didn't know. Bella hates to make a big deal about birthdays and stuff. Anyway, the two wolves are Paul and me. We'll always protect you."

"I know you will." She gave Jake a kiss on his cheek.

"Wow! You're really talented, Jake," Paul praised. "I didn't know you knew how to carve wood. I think those wolves really look like us."

"They do," Bella agreed.

She was having trouble with the clasp on her bracelet so Jake reached down to help her. When he turned her wrist around, he gasped, "Holy crap."

"What?"

"Your vampire bite is gone."

"What?"

"I'm serious. Take a look."

All three kids examined her wrist. "It's gone. Wow. How did that happen?"

"I don't know. This is the arm I sliced down, too, but there's no scar," Bella mentioned.

"Maybe it's because we killed James before he could bite you," Paul surmised wisely.

"That has to be it."

"Alright, so are we going to my house or not?" Jake asked.

"Yep, let me just follow you there," Paul said.

"Bella, you'd better drive. You'll never get there with Paul behind the wheel." He still drove about five miles below speed limit, which was better than ten miles per hour, but still they had to count on adding a few extra minutes of commuting time with him driving.

"I bow to the master," Paul said as he handed Bella his car keys. "We'll meet you at your place, Jacob."

"See you soon!"

Jacob smiled as he drove to his house. His life had done a 180 for the better. He had an awesome family and a wonderful imprint, but most importantly, he had two of the greatest friends a guy could ever ask for—Bella and Paul. The three of them together had done the impossible—they had brought balance back to their little circle in Forks and La Push.


	31. Chapter 31

_**Pairing: Paul/Bella**_

 **Genre: Romance/Family/Comedy**

 **Category: Alternate Universe/Out of Character/Extremely Over The Top**

 **Rating: PG-13**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author-mama4dukes. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

 _ **This story was originally published by mama4dukes on Tricky Raven on December 12, 2015.**_

 ** _The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick_**

 ** _by mama4dukes_**

 ** _And now our story comes to an end…_**

"I can't believe that the theme for homecoming this year is 'Back to the 80's'," Jake said.

"I can't believe we joined the dance committee again." Paul shook his head in disbelief. It was his idea, not Jake's, to join it. He still had no idea what he had been thinking at the time.

"Yeah, but you're the idiot who actually suggested the glittery stars this time. How could you do that to us?"

"I had to contribute something!"

"So, you had to pick the most tedious project from the last dance we went to?"

Paul shrugged his shoulders. "I thought it was a good idea." He finished cutting out the first star and punched a hole at the top for the string. "At least we know how to make them."

"True. They're still a pain in the neck, though." Jake thought of the four hundred ninety-eight stars they had left to do. "Why did you tell them we knew how to make them?"

"Because we do." Paulsighed,and glumly said, "I can't believe Bella didn't join the Dance Committee with us."

"Well, she didn't like it when we did it in 1987."

"True."

"And the Dance Committee meets at the same time as the Yoga Club."

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Why the hell aren't we in the Yoga Club? Our imprints are in tight yoga pants in the downward dog position as we speak, and here we are cutting out cardboard stars."

"The hell if I know. I thought for sure they'd do the Dance Committee." Jake grinned. "We can always ask our imprints to show us what they learned later."

Paul gave his friend a pat on the back. "Yeah, now that's more like it." He grinned at Jake. "And we can join the Yoga Club after this dance."

"We're dudes."

"And? There are dudes who do yoga. My dad goes to the yoga class at the tribal gym with my mom." His head snapped up at Jake. "Wait a second! Your dad teaches the yoga class that my parents are in."

"He does?"

"Yeah, at least that's what my dad told me."

"Huh, you learn something new everyday."

"You're not kidding about that," Paul agreed.

Two months ago, before he had been sent back to the past, Paul would never have imagined that he would be sitting in a gym cutting out cardboard stars and discussing life with Jacob Black, of all people. Back then, his life had been bleak, and he had absolutely no prospects in his life. He had basically been living his life day-to-day, hour-by-hour even, and had never looked forward to the next day nor had he ever imagined his life ever improving. But improve it did. One trip to the past changed his future completely, and now he couldn't wait to wake up in the morning and see what adventures the day brought.

Since waking up to his new life, his life has been happy and filled to the brim with activities. Just last month, his grandmother had taken Jake and him to Seattle to film an ad campaign for BellaPop's new skin care line geared towards teen and young adult males. The ads began running last week and sales were flying through the roof, making Jake and Paul instant celebrities. They got absolutely no sympathy from Bella, who simply told him, " _Now, you know how I feel."_

When he asked Aunt Molly why they didn't choose Quil to be spokesmodel, she replied, _"Honey, I love my grandson with all my heart, but the boy didn't inherit any of my good looks. Clearly, Isabella inherited all of the Swan family genes. Now, Jacob and you, on the other hand, have that classic, clean-cut look that girls love. I knew you'd drive sales through the roof."_

A few minutes later, Bella snuck up on him from behind and gave him a kiss, ending Paul's flashback of the last few weeks.

"What are you doing here? Yoga isn't done yet, is it?"

"I decided to have some sympathy for you and help you with the stars."

"Thanks." She set a box in front of him. "What's this?"

"Open it."

Paul carefully peeled the tape off of the box and looked inside. He smiled as soon as he saw what it was. "Jake, Bella saved us. Look! She brought us glittery, cardboard stars, and they're pre-strung."

"Cool. Where did you get these?"

"Amazon. Thirty dollars for a box of five hundred. My dad ordered them using his Prime account. He claimed that you two had no idea what you were getting yourselves into by suggesting glittery stars."

"Oh, thank Taha Aki." Jake sighed with relief.

"Taha Aki? No way, this one is all on Chief…I mean Dr. Swan," Paul said.

"I'll help you hang the stars up. There's a catch, though," Bella informed them.

"What catch?"

"Apparently some of the dads are performing their Thriller routine at the school dance."

"We're going to be the laughing stocks of the school!" Paul cried.

"Who cares? It makes them happy. Besides, what other kids can say they have such awesome dads?"

"This is true. I suppose it's minor compared to the way things could have been."

Bella smiled at her friends. It was true. All their lives had improved a hundred fold since returning from their trip to 1987.

"Hey, we're done now. Let's go for a drive and grab some dinner out; otherwise, I'll be forced into eating Tofu Casserole for dinner."

"Great idea. You drive, Jake. I hate driving."

"Awesome, my Rabbit is still purring like new. I still have no idea who fixed it up, by the way."

"I still think it was a vampire. Who the heck sprays sparkly, red paint on a car?"

"So, what if it was a vampire? He did a good deed. Besides, I have a soft spot in my heart for this car," Bella said. "If it weren't for the Rabbit and the Magic Stick, the three of us wouldn't be friends."

So Bella, Jake, and Paul hopped into the sparkly, red, re-vamped Rabbit and took off on their next adventure together. For the rest of the their lives, the three friends would always bring peace, happiness, and balance to their little world in the Olympic Peninsula. After all, that's why the spirits put them there.

 ** _Just one last thing…_**

 _Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Jasper Whitlock ignored the constant pounding on the front door. He didn't want to see anyone. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to be left alone in his pit of depression so he could…

 _Crash! Boom!_ The sound of the front door being kicked in interrupted his thoughts. When he looked up to see who broke down the door, he was given a swift slap across the cheek by one Charlotte Whitlock.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Stop wallowing in your self-pity. The twit wasn't even your mate!"

"Yeah, but I loved her."

"You didn't love her, she knew exactly how to manipulate your emotions so you thought you loved her," Peter informed him. "Now, come on, let's go."

"I can't go anywhere. I have no control. I nearly drained Edward's human girlfriend. She had to be changed because of me."

Peter tapped his chin with his finger and did some thinking. "Yeah, it wasn't you. It was Edward's bloodlust that made you lose control. Besides, Edward needed to change the girl or the Volturi would have come down hard on all of you for consorting with a human. What the hell was Edward doing messing around with a human girl anyway?"

"He wanted a mate. Actually, this was his second attempt at dabbling with a human. The first girl was the heiress of SwanPro Beauty Products and the BellaPop line. She had just moved to a town called Forks, Washington on the Olympic Peninsula."

"Yeah, I know the place. Quaint little town. Char and I had some business to take care of there in 1987."

"We moved there over the summer because Alice saw in a vision that Edward's mate would be moving to Forks at the end of the summer. Alice predicted that Isabella Swan would be a meek and subservient girl, depressed about a boy she had dated in Arizona when she started at Forks High School.

"Yep, just the way the little egomaniac likes them," Peter remarked angrily.

Jasper nodded his head in agreement. "Edward would pick up the pieces and she would fall hopelessly in love with him. She would also supply Alice with a plethora of BellaPop products for free. So, we packed our bags and relocated to Forks so Edward could meet her, but once the girl got there, she wanted nothing to do with him. In fact, she was completely repulsed by him, which was a first. She wasn't meek or subservient, but rather mischievous and snarky with absolutely no reservations about speaking her feelings. Anyway, something happened in the cosmos to change Alice's visionbecause Isabella Swan picked up a new boyfriend almost as soon as she arrived in Forks. In fact, Alice caught them making out in a supply closet at the high school on the first day of school. Edward, in a desperate attempt to win over the BellaPop girl, cut the brake lines on some poor kid's van."

"Why would he place a human boy in danger?" Charlotte asked angrily.

"Alice told him that the van would careen towards Bella. Edward would save her by inserting himself between the van and the girl. The girl would then be eternally grateful, and her father would thank Edward on his knees for saving his daughter's life. It didn't work out that way, however, because at the very last second, Bella's boyfriend pushed her to safety and Edward ended up saving the boyfriend instead of the girl."

Peter and Charlotte clutched their stomachs and cackled with laughter.

Jasper continued his story. "So, we all moved quickly from Forks to Medina, Washington. We started attending the high school there. That's where Edward met Emma, who was all broken up about some boy who had dumped her. Emma and Edward became inseparable in no time. A couple of weeks later, we had a birthday party for her, and she got a paper cut while unwrapping one of her birthday presents. Ironically, it was the new BellaPop eyeshadow palette she was opening. She started bleeding, I smelled the blood, started feeding from her, and Carlisle had to change her. When she woke up from her change there was a commercial on TV for BellaPopBoy and she started screaming that her life was ruined because, apparently, the boy who dumped her was one of the spokesmodels for BellaPopBoy, and she would never be able to win him back now that she was a vampire. Ironically, the BellaPopBoy is Bella Swan's new boyfriend."

"Oh, him," Charlotte gushed. "Is he BellaPopBoy Naughty or Nice?"

"BellaPopBoy Naughty. He's actually a very nice kid named Paul," Jasper replied before concluding his story, "Anyway, Alice told me that she would never forgive me for hurting her best friend, and Rose said that she would never forgive me for not draining her completely. That's it. That's what happened. Alice wants a divorce."

"I don't know what you're moping about, Jasper. All of this worked out in your favor. You didn't like the Cullens anyway," Peter reminded him.

"True."

"So, chin up, buckaroo! Let me tell you about our next great adventure."

"Alright, what do you propose we do?"

"First, we're going to fix your front door."

"And second?"

"Second, we're going to wait here for Emmett and Rose. They'll be here tonight because neither of them can stand Emma."

"What's third?"

"Third, the six of us are going on a grand adventure to Italy."

"What kind of an adventure?"

"We're going to Italy to save your mate."

"My mate?"

"Yep, your mate. She's a hot, sexy thing, too. She's human, but knows about vampires."

"Alrighty!" Jasper hopped right up to his feet. "When do I get to meet her?"

"Right after we take out the Volturi."

Jasper cracked his knuckles, nodded his head, and said, "We can take them."

"That's the Major I know," Peter affirmed encouragingly, giving his friend a pat on the back.

A few days later, after the Volturi were mysteriously wiped out, Major Jasper Whitlock married his sexy Italian mate Gianna and ruled the vampire world with Peter, Charlotte, Emmett, and Rose by his side for the rest of eternity.

With the demise of the Volturi, balance was brought back to the supernatural world. Wolves and vampires alike lived in peace forever and ever.

 ** _...and they all lived happily, ever after._**

 **NOTE FROM MAMA4DUKES: Thank you for joining me on this journey to the past and back to the future. Out of all of my stories, this particular one holds a special place in my heart. In July 2015, I had the pleasure of visiting Forks and La Push with two of my sons. While I loved the quaint, little town and all it had to offer in terms of outdoor adventures (we got to go hiking and whitewater rafting there), I was struck by how reduced circumstances were in both towns. After researching some of the history of the area and talking to the residents of both Forks and La Push, I became aware of how the decline of the timber industry greatly affected the once thriving area.**

 **Another thing I learned during my visit is about how the Quileutes are a kind, loving, and caring people. An older woman in La Push commented on how refreshing it was to see two brothers getting along so well. My two boys were bundled up in their rain jackets and running around on First Beach in the pouring rain. She mentioned how most teens seem engrossed in their electronic gadgets rather than in the simple pleasures of life. We got to talking some more and I learned that she was widowed. I told her how sorry I was, but she told me that I shouldn't be sorry for her. She had an entire community that was her family. She was proud of how Quileutes supported each other and made sure that no one went without. Soon, we parted ways, but she truly left an impression on me. She had such a positive outlook on life and I realized that I can take a page out of her book and simply appreciate what I had been blessed with instead of always wanting more.**

 **Meanwhile, I had a tale to write. I began the story prior to leaving for our tour of the Pacific Northwest, and during our visit to Forks, I ended up scrapping everything and re-starting it. I turned my original one-shot into a long, multi-chapter story in which my three heroes gradually developed hope and became empowered enough to change their own dismal circumstances with the knowledge that they had family and friends who loved them. Of course, the story eventually became The Rabbit Meets The Magic Stick.**

 **Now, to my readers, I didn't want to end the story, but I had to so I will be adding outtakes to it. Chapter 31 marks the end of the story, but I will be tacking outtakes onto the end of the story. I already have two outtakes ready so make sure you hit subscribe so you receive alerts.**

 **Thank you so much for joining me for The Rabbit Meets the Magic Stick.**

 **XOXO mama4dukes**


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